Magical Experiences
by Blackfang8
Summary: Being revised, NOT ABANDONED. Sasuke's turned into a cat. Naruto and the others go to Hogwarts to protect Harry. While there Naruto's turned into a sixyear old, causes chaos, and plays matchmaker. Smart Naruto. Boyxboy. Yaoi. Multiple pairings.
1. Sasuke's a CAT!

Summary: Sasuke is turned into a cat. Naruto and the others go to Hogwarts to protect Harry. While there Naruto gets turned into a six-year old. Orochimaru joins forces with Voldemort. Naruto causes chaos and plays match-maker. Will Hogwart's survive? And what about Harry?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: If you want to know, read and find out. I'll post a list in a later chapter, probably the third or fourth.

A/N: If you don't like boy x boy relationships, then don't read. This is my first fic so please be gentle with the flames. I'm open to ideas and if I use any that are suggested, I'll give credit to tthat person. I'll try to update every day, but school is evil and the teachers are demons that give mountains of homework so I might update every other day. Please review, and try not to be a pyro-maniac with the flames.

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**Chapter One: Sasuke's a _CAT!_?!**

Sasuke stared at himself in shock, his wide black eyes staring back at him on the water's surface. Uchiha Sasuke, the ice prince, heart throb of Konoha, was a small black cat with a bluish tint to his fur. Recovering from his shock, he growled angrily. How the hell did he manage to turn himself into a _cat_? He was positive he hadn't messed up the hand seals because he had used the Sharigan to memorize the small list. No, he couldn't have gotten the seals wrong.

Staring back at his reflection, he groaned inwardly as he realized that if anyone found out about his mistake, especially Naruto, he wouldn't hear the end of it. Just the thought of the blonde dobe caused Sasuke's heart to race. Shaking himself he forced his mind to think of a way out of this predicament. Scowling at himself angrily for not thinking of it sooner, Sasuke tried to release the jutsu.

Nothing happened, at all. He paced around the small clearing angrily for a few minutes before he finally calmed down enough to consider his options. Asking for help was not even an option. Being found in his new form was also out. So was going home when he had no idea when the jutsu might wear off.

His clothes laid in the middle of the clearing, next to the cursed scroll that had started the entire mess. After several minutes of pawing, fumbling, and tugging at his clothes, Sasuke managed to wrap his clothes around the scroll, making a somewhat messy bundle. A quick scan of his surroundings wielded a small gap between two giant tree roots. Dragging his clothes over, he forced them into the small space.

He kicked some leaves on top in an attempt to make them less visible. Once he was satisfied that his clothes were hidden well, Sasuke set off for the village. The walk would take a while, but that gave him time to think of a way to get out of the mess he was in. But as he walked, his thoughts kept straying to a certain blonde.

It had been almost a year since Naruto had dragged him back from the evil grasp of Orochamiru. He had both legs and arms broken as well as a couple of ribs. Naruto had dragged him back to the village despite his own broken bones and other severe wounds. Hell, he had even taken the time to treat his injuries and splint his arms and legs, neglecting his own injuries. It was while Naruto had half-carried, half-dragged him back to Konoha that he had realized that not only was he weak for going to Orochimaru, but he loved the blonde dobe.

It took Naruto a week to reach the gates of Konoha, and before that he had used the last of his chakra to summon a frog and send him ahead with a message for Tsunade and Sakura to meet them at the gates. Naruto had just stepped inside the gates before Tsunade and Sakura arrived. With a huge smile, Naruto whispered to Sakura, "Sakura-chan, I brought him back." After that, Naruto had passed out.

To say Sasuke was surprised when the Hokage had caught the falling blonde was the understatement of the century. What shocked him even more was when Sakura came up to him and slapped him hard across the face. Then she picked him up and rushed to the hospital with Tsunade, Naruto craddled in the Godaime's arms. When they had reached the hospital, the staff had insisted on treating him first, completely ignoring Naruto. One of the doctors had even gone so far as to say that Tsunade shouldn't waste her time or chakra on the blonde boy in her arms. She had shot the man a glare that put the Uchiha Death Glare to shame. If looks could kill, the man would have been six feet under after suffering a very slow and painful death. Sasuke shuddered just remembering the look.

If Naruto hadn't woken up at that moment, he was sure that the Hokage would have beaten the poor man to a bloody pulp. "Tsunade-baa-chan, you have to heal Sasuke. I hurt him pretty bad and it took me a week to drag him here." Looking down at the boy in her arms, her face softened immediately. "Not until I heal you first, brat." At these words, Naruto began to struggle in her arms. "If you don't heal Sasuke first, I'll run off and join the Akatsuki as soon as I'm healed."

Sasuke's jaw dropped as well as everyone else's that was in the room. Naruto had stopped struggling and was now glaring at the Godaime who was glaring right back. "Fine. Sakura, follow me. Bring Sasuke with you. You three, bring Jirayia, Kakashi, and Iruka here. Tell them it's my orders and if they don't came as fast as they can, then tell them to run as fast and as far as they can because I will hunt them down and castrate them after torturing them very, very, slowly. And if anyone speaks of Sasuke's return you will have an even worst fate than what awaits Jiraiya and Kakashi if they aren't here in the next half hour. And you, go and fetch Shizune, tell her its an emergency and tell her to be ready to heal some broken bones. Now, everyone get back to work. Follow me Sakura." Sakura dumped him into a wheel chair before she followed Tsunade to a private room with two beds.

Sakura easily lifted him into one of the beds while Naruto was gently placed into the other. "Baa-chan, Sasuke first." Tsunade sighed heavily as she turned to glare at Sasuke. He had stared back, his face devoid of all emotion. His cheek still throbbed painfully where Sakura had slapped him. As Sakura began to strip him of his clothing, Tsundae began to gather bandages and ointments and a variety of other medical things. Sakura had just finished stripping him down to his boxers when Shizune arrived.

"Sakura, you take his left arm and ribs, I'll take his legs, and Shizune you take his right arm and ribs. Leave the cuts and bruises for later unless their deep. Take care of the serious injuries, the minor ones we'll bandage and take care of later." Nodding, the three women took their places and began to the slow process of healing his broken bones. Sakura and Shizune finished at roughly the same time and began to clean and bandage his cuts and bruises. As soon as Tsunade had finished healing Sasuke's legs, she went over to Naruto and began to gently remove the blonde's clothing.

Glimpsing Sasuke watching Naruto, Tsunade shot him a glare before puling a curtain across the middle of the room, blocking his view of the blonde boy. After finishing bandaging him up, Shizune went over to help the Godaime with healing Naruto. Sakura helped him into a hospital gown before she started to clean up while keeping an eye on him. Sasuke had stared blankly at the ceiling.

The curtain was pulled back just seconds before the door flew open and Jiriaya and Kakashi rushed in, Iruka walking in calmly behind them. The second his eyes rested on Naruto he turned deathly pale before he rushed over to the heavily bandaged boy. Naruto managed a weak smile before his eyes slid closed. Jirayia, if Sasuke remembered correctly, went over to Tsunade and whispered something to her.

Kakashi had caught sight of him and his single visible eye had widened in shock and disbelief. Sasuke felt his lips twitch into a smirk as he spoke. "The dobe brought me back. The dumbass beat the shit out of me and brought me back." Sasuke gave a bitter laugh as he felt his eyes well up with tears as he thought of all the pain and trouble he had caused his teamates and teacher because of his weakness. Sasuke stared down as his hands, a few tears falling onto them.

For the first time since Naruto had dragged him through the village gates, Sakura spoke to him. "And you call Naruto a dobe. Baka, you aren't weak. If you were, we would have given up on getting you back. But don't expect us to forgive you so easily just 'cause we're happy to have you back." The pink-haired kunoichi gently took his hand. Sasuke barely spoke above a whisper, but Sakura still heard him. "You shouldn't be thanking us. You should thank Naruto, and you need to apologize as well." Sasuke nodded numbly.

A shadow fell over him, causing him to look up. The silver-haired jounin leaned over him, his single eye narrowed as he studied him. Suddenly, his eye curned showing that he was smiling vehind his mask. "You're going to be doing a lot of charity work as well as team missions." Kakashi gave a chuckle before he walked over to Iruka and tried to calm the frantic chunin. When Iruka still didn't calm down, he whispered something into the shorter man's ear that caused him to blush and quiet down instantly.

Stepping on a rather sharp rock, Sasuke was jerked from his memories. Glancing around, he realized he had taken a path that led past the village. Snarling in frustration, Sasuke back tracked, slipping into another memory, a few days after he had come back.

Tsunade would have shipped Sasuke off to prison for a couple of years at least if Naruto hadn't convinced her to give him a different punishment. That was what had led to the gathering of all the villagers that had been old enough to remember what happened fifteen years ago when the Kyuubi had attacked the village. Why only the people from that time were gathered had Sasuke confused. He decided that no one his age was allowed to attend the meeting because Tsunade didn't want opinions like Naruto's, that or she didn't want to deal with the majority of his fan club. He sat in a wheel chair beside the Hokage, his body heavily wrapped in bandages, much like a mummy in appearance.

Sasuke didn't really pay attention to the Godaime's speech, but he did pay attention to some of the things the crowd shouted when she finished her speech. "He shouldn't be punished. The brat needs to be punished. Look what he did to his own teamate." "Yeah, the Uzumaki brat should be punished. It's his fault that Sasuke ran off to Orochamiru." "It's the demon's influence that caused Sasuke-san to make the mistake of joining the Sound." "Uzumaki should be punished." "Yeah, punish the demon brat."

Sasuke stared at the sea of angry faces in utter disbelief. Their anger wasn't directed towards him, but towards Naruto, the person that had brought him back. They even blamed Naruto for his joining the Sound even though Sasuke had made the choice himself. He had nearly killed the Naruto when the dobe had tried to stop him.

Feeling a deadly and muderous aura, Sasuke turned to look at the person on his left who emitted the blood thirsty aura. Sasuke's eyes went wide in fear when he saw that it was Tsunade who was giving off the terrifying and muderous aura. Sasuke had only felt fear towards a few people, and the Fifth Hokage had just become one of them.

The crowd suddenly became deathly silent as they noticed the killer intent that rolled off their leader in wave after suffocating wave. When she spoke her voice was barely even a whisper. "Not only do you break the Third's law, but you have the nerve to tell me to punish the boy that not only risked his life to get to Sasuke, but also brought him back alive?" Tsunade glared at the crowd before a malicous grin broke her stony face. "Alright. Naruto's punishment will be for him to execute his friend, Uchiha Sasuke, in front of the entire village in fornt of the Hokage monument. The execution will take place tomorrow at noon." Sasuke had stared in wide eyed horror at the Fifth Hokage.

The crowd immediately broke into an angry outburst. Tsunade silenced them with a glare before she spoke. "You told me that you wanted me to punish Naruto. Having him kill the very person that he spent two years chaisng after is far more painful than a couple of years in jail. Now, like I've already said, the execution will take place tomorrow at noon. That is my decision, and it's final. Argue, and you will be thrown in jail. This is what you asked for. Everyone is to attend. This meeting is now over." With those final words, she turned her back to the angry crowd and walked off stage. Shizune followed her, pushing Sasuke in front of her. Sasuke didn't say a word.

Time seemed to drag by until it was finally the next day. A little before noon, he found himself on another stage in a wheel chair. His face was completely emotionless and his eyes were dead. A dazed looking Naruto was standing next to him in his usual orange jumpsuit. Silencing the crowd, Tsunade spoke. "Uzumai Naruto, you are here by ordered to execute Uchiha Sasuke. This is at the request of the village that you be punished." Sasuke had turned just in time to see Tsunade wrap Naruto's fingers around the handle of the kunai that would end his life.

Sasuke forced himself to look at Naruto, but he refused to meet his blue eyes. What Naruto did next shockd everyone. He stabbed himself in the hand, then pulled the blade out and stabbed himself in the arm before anyone could stop him. Tsunade had grabbed Naruto's wrist before he could plunge the kunai into his chest. Sasuke stared terrified at the blood dripping from the blonde's limp arm. The kunai fell from Naruto's hand with a dull thud. His eyes were dead as he stared blankly at the crowd.

The sight of Naruto's dull, blue eyes was enough to break his heart. Sakura had rushed onto the stage seconds after Naruto had dropped the kunai. The pink-haired medic-nin immediately began to heal the dazed blonde's wounds. Her vivid green eyes practically glowed with hatred as she took a glance at the crowd. Tsunade had whispered something into her student's ear and moments later, Sakura had carried Naruto away bridal-style.

Sasuke had felt the sudden urge to run as Tsunade's muderous aura encompassed the stage and part of the crowd. When she spoke, her voice was a deadly whisper. "The Fourth and the Third would not have given their lives to protect this village if they knew just how sad and pathetic its citizens were. I would never have agreed to become the Godaime if it wasn't for Naruto. And the only reason I'm still the Hokage after seeing how ungrateful you are, is because of that boy. Your hatred and resentment towards that innocent boy was so larege, you were willing to kill the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan. Now, do you want me to choose a punishment for Sasuke based off of your opinions or do you trust me to decide on a fair punishment?"

No one said a word. Smiling one of those creepy, fake smiles, Tsunade turned to stare at Sasuke. He forced his face to remain smooth and calm as he stared back. He knew better than to glare at the Hokage in front of a large crowd. "I'll place you on a six month probation. During that time, you will accomplish D-rank missions that do not require a three-man team. These missions will be done by you as soon as you recovered enough to start. Don't expect to be paid for these missions either. Other than that, you will have a curfew, an ANBU guarding you at all times, and a few other rules I'll explain to you when you can leave the hospital. Shizune, take him back to his room and stand guard. I'll join you shortly."

As soon as they were out of sight of the crowd, Shizune picked him up and carried him to the hospital. He was in the same room he had been brought in when he first arrived. Sasuke was surprised when he saw Sakura standing next to an unconcious Naruto, her face creased with worry.

Sasuke was pulled from his memories again as he felt a familar chakra pulse. Eyes widening, he jumped into a nearby bush, slicing the pads of his paws on the briars. Peering through the branches, Sasuke was horrifeied when he saw a pair of familar orange clad legs stop in front of him. Holding his breath, Sasuke waited for the blonde to leave.

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A/N: Hee hee hee. Evil cliffy. Please review, and remember, this is my first fic. So please don't burn me alive and then roast my corpse. 


	2. A New Understanding

Summary: Sasuke is turned into a cat. Naruto finds him. Now what happens? 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: If you want to know, read and find out. I'll post a list in a later chapter, probably the third or fourth.

A/N: If you don't like boy x boy relationships, then don't read. This is my first fic so please be gentle with the flames. I'm open to ideas and if I use any that are suggested, I'll give credit to tthat person. I'll try to update every day, but school is evil and the teachers are demons that give mountains of homework so I might update every other day. During the weekends, I'll probably update at least two or three chapters. Please review.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

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**Chapter Two: A New Understanding**

A pair of small tanned hands parted the branches of the bush, spiked blonde hair and a pair of large blue eyes were visible behind the small hands. "Found you. Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." Gently, Naruto reached foward and carefully picked him up. He ignored the small cuts he received as he carefully withdrew the small cat from the bush.

As soon as Sasuke was entirely free of the branches, he began to struggle, trying to break free of the firm grip the blonde had on him. "I won't hurt you. Let me at least take you home so I can clean those cuts. I'll give you something to eat too if you're good." Sasuke gave up struggling and allowed his loud-mouthed teamate to carry him the rest of the way to the village.

He watched his surroundings quielty, noticing the slight glares the guards gave Naruto as he entered the village. As they continued to walk through the village, Sasuke noticed the hate and raged filled glares the villagers were directing at Naruto.

Twitching his ears, he picked up a few of the things they were whispereing. "Why won't it just die?" "It was all his fault that Sasuke-kun ran away from the village." "Poor cat, its probably going to be tortured." "Yeah, then the demon brat'll probalby eat it." His eyes wide, he looked up at Naruto just in time to see a rock sail past his head, grazing his cheek.

Rocks and other small debris soon came pelting towards them. Naruto kept walking, his usual wide grin plastered on his face. Taking a closer look, Sasuke realized that it didn't quite reach Naruto's eyes. As the projectiles grew bigger in size and the whispering became more audible, only then did Naruto quicken his pace. Reaching an apartment complex, he entered the lobby and walked past an older woman at the receptionist desk. She gave Naruto a look of pure hatred. When he reached the stairs, he tucked Sasuke more firmly into his grasp before he sprinted up the stairs all the way to the fourth floor.

Naruto had to run across each floor in order to reach the next flight of stairs. Sasuke stared at Naruto as he stopped in front of the very last door at the end of the hall on the fourth floor. Sasuke had expected the dobe to be out of breath, but the blonde boy wasn't even panting. Sasuke was completely shocked but quickly recovered as Naruto dug out his keys and unlocked the door to his apartment.

Thinking about it, he had never been to Naruto's place before. He knew where he lived, but he had never actually been inside the blonde's apartment before. Shutting the door behind them, Naruto took a minute to lock it. Counting, Sasuke felt his jaw drop. There were at least a dozen differnt locks on his door, ranging from deadbolts to the little chains that wouldn't allow you to open the door completely. Finished with the locks, Naruto took his sandals off before he padded down the hall to the living room.

It was small but it had a lived-in feel to it. There was a sofa, a large easy-chair, a coffee table, an end table with a lamp and a small TV in the corner. An open wall revealed a small table with a few chairs and just beyond that was a small kitchen, perfect for a single person. Two doors were on the back wall with a decent sized blank portion between them. The walls were a dark blue that matched the large throw rug on the living room floor. Before he could take a closer look at his surroundings, Naruto walked into the bathroom.

Carefully he examined his cut paws. "It's not too bad. I'll give you a bath then wrap your little paws up before I feed you." Still holding him, Naruto turned the water on. As the bathtub filled with water, he dug out a thick bluish-green towel that matched the tiles in color. Setting the towel aside, Naruto turned the water off before he searched for some soap and shampoo. "Sorry, but the water's going to be cold. I'll try to make this quick for you."

True to his word, the water was indeed cold. Sasuke growled in displeasure as the icy coldness penetrated his fur. Kneeling in front of the bathtub, Naruto squirted some shampoo into his hands and began to work it into his fur. Sasuke felt his body warm up as he realized that Naruto was giving him a bath. With one hand, he began to gently massage one of his cut paws, washing the dried blood and dirt from the wound. He did that to his other paws too before he rinsed him off.

Lifting him up, Naruto squeezed some of the extra water out of his fur before he bundled him up in the towel. Sitting down on the bathroom floor, Naruto began to rub him dry with the towel, a small smile on his face. Sasuke felt his heart melt as he looked at Naruto's smiling face. Once he was dry, Naruto pulled out a jar of ointment and a roll of bandages. Having Sasuke lie belly up, Naruto rubbed some of the ointment into the pad of each paw before he bandaged all four of them.

Cleaning everything up, Naruto stooped down and picked Sasuke up before he left the bathroom. Sasuke rolled his eyes when Naruto began to scratch him behind the ears, but he couldn't stop the purr. Sasuke opened his eyes when he felt something cold and wet hit his nose. Looking up, Sasuke was shocked to find sparkling blue eyes glistening with tears, a few spilling over to trail wet paths down his cheeks.

Hearing the small black cat purr, Naruto couldn't stop the wave of sadness that swamped him. He desperately wished he could keep the small animal, but Naruto knew that if he did he would only feel worse when the cat eventually left. Naruto would never be completely alone with the Kyuubi no Kitsune sealed inside him. He had first learn of the demon fox's existence when he was four.

It was late winter and the villagers had thrown the usual rocks, rotten vegetables, and garbage at him. But because it was winter, the things they threw at him were frozen. One viciously thrown rock had hit him in the temple, leaving a small gash that bled slowly. Seeing the blood, the villagers threw more things at him. Seeing a group of men approach him with menacing grins on their faces, Naruto ran away and ended up in the forest just outside of Konoha.

The group of men had followed him and now the five surrounded him. They had beaten him, cracking a few ribs and breaking his left arm. Nearly every inch of his body was bruised or bleeding, sometimes both. They had then each taken a turn in raping him. Before they left, one of the men pulled out a kunai and sliced the whisker marks he had on his cheeks. They were now red as they bled, his tears mixing with the blood making a redish trail as they slid down his cheeks. They left him alone in that clearing, the last thing he saw before he blacked out was the starry night sky.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a tunnel. Pipes adorned the walls and the steady dripping of water echoed around him. With nothing better to do, Naruto stood up and began walking along the dim tunnel. He thought that the villagers had dumped his unconcious body into the sewers. A few minutes later he came to a large room, the back wall drawing his attention immediately. The entire length of the back wall held the bars of a cage that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. A piece of paper with the kanji for 'seal' held the cage doors shut.

Edging closer to the giant cage, Naruto tried to see into the inky darkness. A giant pair of red eyes with slitted pupils blinked open in front of him. He fell back in surprise before he crawled foward to get a closer look at the cat-like eyes. For what felt like hours, Naruto stared into the large eyes. A large paw shot out through the bars, stopping shourt of clawing him. Naruto blinked as a giant scarlet fox came into view.

It had nine tails that swayed behind it, and he could now see that the large fox was lying down. Naruto stared back at the fox's face, noting that its lips were curled back revealing its sharp fangs as it snarled at him. Its eyes were narrowed in a glare. At first he was surprised and slightly afraid, but as he continued to stare at the huge fox, he lost all fear that he might of had for it.

A wide grin spreading across his face, Naruto inched closer to the cage. The fox had stopped snarling at him and was now staring at him with mild curiousity and amusement. Naruto stopped right in front of the cage and sat down, his arms crossed against his small chest. Naruto may have been a young child but he was far from stupid, he would have been considered a prodigy and genius if the villagers had bothered to look past his mask of stupidity.

Finally fed up with the silence, Naruto spoke up. "Ne, are you the Kyuubi no Kitsune? You're really cute for a demon fox. Can I hug you? Oh, where are we?"

Naruto stared at the fox expectantly with his wide, innocent, blue eyes. **'Kit, I am the demon fox. No, you can't hug me. Call me cute again and I'll kill you. Oh, and we are in your mind.' **Kyuubi stared down at the small child that was her container. She had never had a human call her cute, much less ask if they could hug her.

Naruto closed his eyes and sighed. It all made sense now. If the Kyuubi was in his mind, then that meant the demon fox had been sealed into him or something. The villagers hated him because they thought that he was the demon fox itself. As his young mind comprehended the reason he was hated, he broke down and started to cry. Now that he knew the reason behind the hatred, he lost all hope of being liked, let alone loved.

Kyuubi had expected the child to become angry and scream at her, she hadn't even considered the possibility of the blonde boy crying. She had seen the things that the villagers had done to the small boy because of her. Maternal instincts kicking in, she spoke gently to the crying boy. '**Kit, come here.'** Still crying, Naruto stood up and stumbled into the cage. As soon as he entered, Kyuubi wrapped one of her tails around him and craddled him, gently rocking him back and forth.

Naruto cried even harder, but soon his tears began to slow as the gentle rocking lulled him to sleep. He snuggled closer to the fur as he drifted into a peaceful sleep. Kyuubi stared at the sleeping child craddled in her tails. A deep sadness filled her as she thought of all the things that the small boy had to endure because of her weakness. Forcing the sadness away, she vowed to help the sleeping blonde. She would train him, teach him, do everything she could to stop his tears.

When he woke up an hour later, he found himself in his bed, his injuries completely healed. For a moment, Naruto felt himself panic until he heard a voice. **'Don't worry Kit. I took control of your body and took you home. I also healed your injuries, including your broken bones. Now, do you want me to train you and teach you?' **For a moment, he was unable to think, then in a timid and small voice, he asked aloud. "You'll train me? Do you really meant it Kyu-chan?" His voice was filled with so much hope it was heartbreaking. **'Hai Kit, I will train you. Now get up, your training will start as soon as your done eating breakfast. You don't need to speak aloud to answer me, just think what you want to say.' **Naruto hadn't said a word, he just simply jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen and made himself some breakfast. It was the first day and the start of his new life.

Snapping out of his memories, Naruto quickly dried his tears and entered the kitchen. Giving him a final scratch behind the ears he gently placed Sasuke on table before entering the kitchen, donning a dark blue apron. Sasuke watched in amazement as Naruto summoned a Kage Bushin and set about making something to eat. It took a lot of chakra to create a solid clone, and yet Naruto made one to help him cook like it was no big deal.

Sasuke sat down and began to ponder everything he had just learned about Naruto. As he began to ponder the villagers' hate, Sasuke realized that he knew almost nothing about his blonde teamate. He was so lost in thought, he didn't notice as Naruto set two plates dwon on the table, releasing the chakra he used to create his clone before he sat down. His clone disappeared in a poof of smoke. It wasn't until Naruto poked him in the nose with his chopsticks did Sasuke realize that he had spaced out.

Scowling, he swiped at the offending pieces of wood. Chuckling, Naruto went back to eating. Sasuke felt his jaw drop as he watched Naruto eat at a normal speed. Snapping his mouth closed, Sasuke inspected the small plate of chicken in front of him. Taking a small bite, Sasuke nearly choked on it. It was the best tasting chicken he had ever had. He ate slowly, savoring each morsel until there was nothing left. Naruto took the plates and placed them in the sink. Within moments of sitting down, a tapping sound could be heard.

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A/N: Another cliffy. Don't worry, I'll upload the next chapter sometime tonight or tomorrow. Please review. 


	3. Secrets and Missions

Summary: Naruto finds Sasuke and takes him home. While Naruto was walking through the village, Sasuke noticed for the first time the hatred the villagers directed towards Naruto. Naruto gives him a bath and feeds him. They just finished eating when a tapping was heard at the window. Who or what could it be? I bet you can't guess it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: If you want to know, read and find out. I'll post a list in a later chapter, probably the third or fourth.

A/N: Please review, I really would like to know if my story is any good at all. I'll probably update to the ninth chapter this weekend. If I don't get any reviews in the next week, even if they're anonymous, I'll probably give up on updating.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

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**Chapter Three:** **Secrets and Missions**

With a sigh, Naruto stood up and opened his kitchen window, allowing the messenger hawk to fly in. Taking the scroll, Naruto read it, absentmindedly stroking the hawk's feathers as it perched on the back of his chair. Probably waiting for a reply before it would leave. As if to prove his point, Naruto tossed the scroll onto the table and disappeared into what Sasuke assumed was his bedroom, in search of writing material. While Naruto was gone, Sasuke took a look at the scroll, wondering what was in it.

To his utter shock it wasn't addressed to Naruto but to a person called Fox. Then it hit him, it was addressed to the Anbu captain Fox. He was not only the youngest Anbu ever, but he was also the youngest captain ever. It was said that he had become an Anbu at six and a captain at eight. He had broken both Kakashi-sensei's and Itachi's records. He was a genius among geniuses.

Sasuke didn't get a chance to read the rest of the scrolls contents because Naruto chose to return at that moment. Handing a scroll to the hawk, he gave it a final pat on the head before it took off out the window. Sighing, Naruto slid the window shut. Picking up the scroll, he read it once more before he burned it. "I guess I should give you a name. I'll call you Sasuke since you remind me of the bastard. If he ever found out I named a cat after him, he would probably kill me. Come on Sasuke, I have to go see the old hag."

Picking him up, he went to the door, grabbing his sandals before going back to the kitchen window and opening it. Sitting on the window ledge, he slid his sandals on before he closed the window behind him, using chakra to stick to the side of the building to keep from falling off. Tucking Sasuke into his orange jacket, Naruto took off, jumping from roof to roof as he made his way to the Hokage tower.

Tsunade frowned as she read Naruto's letter. She had asked if he would do a simple guard job for a year, but he said that he didn't want to. Not as Fox anyway. She had been shocked beyond belief when she found out that Naruto was not only an Anbu, but an Anbu captain at that. Jiraiya didn't even know how smart or strong Naruto was. He didn't know until Naruto's mask had slipped and he had saved the pervert from being seriously injured from a surprise attack that could have possibly killed him. It broke her heart each time Naruto saved the village from utter destruction only to have them treat him like a monster in return. It was time for her to break his mask, the mask he had built to protect himself from the hate, to keep him sane. Hopefully this mission would be just what he needed.

Naruto relaxed when he entered the Hokage's office. He used the window just to annoy her. He was disappointed when she didn't take the bait. "Baa-chan, what do you want?" "An old friend of Sarutobi's sent a letter asking him to send a team to protect his school and a certain student in particular. When I sent him a letter stating that his friend had died, he sent me another letter still insisting that he would pay for a team. He even offered to let me name the price. He did ask for ninja that looked young enough to pass as students, that's where you come in. If you are unwilling to go as Fox, then I will let you assemble a team that you choose and take them with you. I have one condition, you tell them the truth. If you don't, then I will. If you can't bring yourself to tell them, then I will. And I won't sugar-coat it either."

Naruto looked at her in horror. She wouldn't tell them about Kyuubi, would she? Although she knew the truth behind the Kyuubi attack and had accepted the fox, the others didn't. Even if she hadn't know the truth of the attack, she still had accepted and acknowledged him as a person, and didn't think of him as the fox itself. "I won't tell them about our mutual friend, or about any of your contacts. But I will not spare any other detail. If you don't want to tell them yourself and you ask me to, then I won't be as harsh. But Naruto, it will happen. Now, what is your answer?"

Naruto wanted to run away, but he knew that Tsunade-baa-chan was doing it for his own good. He couldn't hide forever, and he didn't want to hide anymore. **'Kit, you knew this day would come. I warned you about this when you accepted my training. It is time for you to destroy your mask, you don't need it anymore. If you keep it on longer, you'll only be hurting yourself.' **'Kyu-chan, I'm scared. I don't want them to hate me. I don't think I could take it if they did. And what would Sasuke think? If he hated me I would just die.' **'Kit, I've told you. If they hated you for hiding from them, then they were never your friends. Now, either tell them yourself or Tsunade will tell them for you. But, you should tell them yourself because you owe them that much for hiding from them for so long.' **

Naruto's shoulders sagged in defeat. "I'll accept the mission Hokage-sama. For the team members, I want all of the Rookie 9, Gai's team, and the Sand siblings if you can get them. When does the mission start?" Tsunade couldn't stop the sadness that filled her heart as she looked at Naruto's dead eyes. "The school year doesn't start for a month, but if you guys are going to blend in as students then you will need to arrive there earlier to train. You leave in two days. If you want to tell anyone else the truth, then tell them to meet here at noon two days from now. And Naruto, I'm sorry."

Naruto looked at the person who he thought of as an older sister, a mother, a grandmother. He felt a small smile tug at his lips. "I know Baa-chan, thank you." And before she could say another word, he left. This time he used the doors, shocking the two Anbu that stood guard. Sasuke was in a state of shock. The Hokage had said that Naruto was Fox. As Sasuke processed all of the information that he had learned, he failed to notice that Naruto had arrived in front of Kakashi's apartment.

Knocking on the door, Naruto waited impatiently for his former teacher to answer. When he finally did, Naruto had to suppress the urge to smirk when a half-naked and very angry Jounin answered the door. He still had his face mask on but his left eye wasn't covered, revealing the Sharigan. "Naruto, what are you doing here?" Naruto couldn't stop himself from smirking. "I came by to tell you to meet me in the Hokage's office two days from now at noon. Since Iruka-sensei's here as well, could you also tell him? You better not be late, this is important."

At the mention of Iruka's name, Kakashi blushed a deep red. Trying to hide his embarrassment he looked down at the cat that was tucked inside of Naruto's jacket. His eyes widened a fraction in surprise before he quickly slid a grin on his face. "Naruto, where did you find that cat?" "I found him outside the village. Poor thing had cut his feet up so I took him home, gave him a bath, took care of his feet, and I fed him. Why?" "I know the owner of the cat. She's worried sick about him. Do you think you could give him to me so I can return him to her?"

Naruto sighed, then gently he lifted Sasuke out of his jacket and handed him to the silver-haired jounin. "Don't forget to tell Iruka-sensei. Could you also tell Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, Anko, and Ibiki the same thing?" Kakashi nodded. "Oh, I thought you should know that I was the one that set you guys up. I mean, it was so obvious you guys liked each other. All you needed was a push. But Kakashi-sensei, if you hurt Iruka-sensei I swear I will hunt you down and torture you in every way I know how to before I kill you." The glare that Naruto gave him had Kakashi wishing that he was somewhere far far away. With a wave, Naruto disappeared with a small pop and a cloud of smoke.

Kakashi blinked in surprise, since when had Naruto known how to teleport?

Closing his door, Kakashi glanced down at the cat in his arms. "Iruka, you better get dressed. We need to talk about a certain blonde student of ours as well as a certain teammate of his." A shout of disappointment was heard from the bedroom as well as someone grumbling about something. "Now Sasuke, how about we get you back to normal?" With that said, he placed the small cat on the couch before he disappeared down the hall, only to come back with a blanket and a very unhappy Iruka.

Tossing the blanket on top of him, he went through a long chain of hand seals before he forced his chakra into Sasuke. With a small pop and a lot of smoke, Sasuke finally returned to normal. He was very happy that Kakashi had thrown a blanket over him when he realized that he was completely naked. Iruka was flustered but he quickly regained his calm. "Now, Sasuke how exactly did you wind up as a cat?" "I found this old scroll in the back of the shed and tried to do one of the jutsus, but I guess it went wrong." Sasuke desperately hoped that his teacher bought the lie and to his relief, he did.

"Well, at least I saved you from the pleasure of turning back to normal while you were with Naruto. Might as well do what Naruto asked me to. Do you have any idea what he's talking about?" "I don't really know. Tsunade-sama gave him a mission and said something about telling the truth by himself or she would do it for him. Do you have any clothes I can borrow?"

Sasuke suddenly wished he hadn't asked when he saw the evil gleam in Kakashi's eyes. "Why Sasuke-kun, I have just the outfit. It should fit you just fine too." Before Kakashi could get it, Iruka slapped him on the head with the jounin's favorite little orange book. "Don't even think about it. Just teleport Sasuke home, and if you don't, you know what happened when you tricked Naruto, imagine that only a hundred times worse." Iruka smirked when the silver-haired man went very pale.

Placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, he teleported them into the Uchiha compound. "I gotta go. But before I do, you definetly make a cute kitty." Before he could even snap back, he was gone. Sasuke decided to take a shower and go to bed, his mind still going over what he had just seen and heard.

---Time Skip---Two days later---

Naruto paced back and forth in front of Tsunade, slowly getting on her nerves. She finally snapped when he groaned and started to pull at his hair. "Naruto, sit down and shut up. I can't take it anymore." Instead of yelling back, he walked over to her and sat in her lap, curling up into a small ball as he rested his head on her large chest.

Her anger disappearing, Tsunade wrapped her arms protectively around the young blonde. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, but you've been pacing back and forth for the last half-hour." Naruto didn't say anything, he simply let her hold him. "I'm scared." "Naruto, I'll make you a deal. If you tell them that you are the legendary Fox, then I will explain everything else. Do we have a deal?" Naruto nodded his head and pressed himself into her even more. Tsunade tightened her embrace.

He stayed curled in her lap as the Rookie 9, thier senseis, Iruka, Anko, Ibiki, and the Sand siblings filed into the office. Jiraiya also showed up. Everyone was surprised to find Konoha's number one loud-mouth ninja curled up in the Hokage's lap like a small child, but they chose not to say anything and quickly hid thier expressions of shock and disbelief. Without looking at any of them, Naruto tossed his porcealin fox mask onto Tsunade's desk. "I'm Fox, the Anbu captain and legend."

With that said, Naruto buried his face into Tsunade's chest trying to keep himself from crying, but tears still trickled from his eyes. Tsunade held him even tighter as she began to speak. "It's true. Naruto had graduated the Academy when he was four and became a chunin just after he turned five. He became a jounin a week after his sixth birthday and then joined the Anbu two months after that. The Third assigned him to attend the academy after he became a captain and restricted him to only the occasional S-class mission. I didn't find out until I read his records and I still didn't believe it until Naruto had dropped his mask and told me the truth himself. You can also ask Jiraiya, he was completely fooled too."

At that everyone turned to stare at the legendary Sannin. "It's true. He saved my ass one time when we were traveling. I probably would have been killed if it wasn't for him." Sakura was the first to speak. "Naruto, why did you lie?" The question was simple but it cut him to the bone. Tsunade sighed as she felt Naruto cry harder, her chest already drenched with his tears.

Tsunade began to stroke his blonde spikes gently, knowing what she was about to ask could break him completely. "Naruto, do you want me to tell them about her, about the village?" As she had expected, Naruto had stiffened at her words, but what she didn't expect was what he did next. He relaxed and sunk further into her embrace, if that was possible, and said barely above a whisper, "Yes."

Naruto allowed himself to be held close as Tsunade began the story of his life. "Sakura, in order to know the answer to that question, then you need to know what really happened fifteen years ago. When the Kyuubi attacked, the Yondaime defeated it, but he didn't kill it. I probably should say her. The Yondaime didn't kill her, he sealed her into a newborn child because it was impossible to kill her. Naruto was that child. All the adults of that time knew the truth, and they believed that Naruto was the demon fox himself, not her container. Seeing their hatred, the third made a law forbidding anyone to talk about the events of that day, punishable by death. This kept the villagers from passing thier prejudice views on to the next generation, but it didn't stop them from openly showing Naruto thier hate. There are over two hundred medical records of injuries that Naruto recieved. The earliest ones are when he was three."

At the mention of his medical records, Naruto let out a small whimper as he remembered some of the more brutal things that were done to him, including rape. Tsunade held him tighter and began to gently rock him as she continued. "When he was four, he was beaten and raped." At that there was a collective gasp around the room. Tsunade forced herself to continue. "That was the first time, and for the next four years he was raped on his birthday and a few other days each year by the same group of men."

Naruto began to visibly shake as he tried to keep himself from sobbing out loud. "He may have been an Anbu member, but he had began his double life when he was four. By acting the idiot and lying about his real capabilities, he was able to live with fewer beatings from the the villagers with the exception of that one group of men. When I had ordered Naruto to execute Sasuke, it was because the villagers had dared to blame Naruto for his decision to run off to Sound, and then they had the nerve to demand that I punish him for it. To put it simply, Naruto didn't tell you the truth because he can't trust easily. When Mizuki betrayed his trust, it made it even harder for him to trust anybody."

Naruto waited for the angry voices and harsh words, but they never came. If he had had the courage to look, he would have seen the looks of shock and sadness on thier faces. Tsunade was looking and she gave a small smile. Naruto had managed to worm his way into all of thier hearts, and it shattered those hearts to hear about the things he had been through.

Ibiki had seen many things and been through many things, but nothing could compare to what this boy had gone through and yet he still had and innocence about him that seemed impossible. He was amazed at the boy's strength.

Tsunade felt Naruto's shaking stop as his tears slowly stopped as well. She wasn't surprised when his breathing began to slow and even out as he fell asleep. She didn't blame him for falling asleep, he had just been through hell and it wasn't over yet. "He's asleep. What was said in this room stays in this room. You can talk about it amongst yourselves but if this is leaked to anyone, you'll wish for a quick death. For I will give you the most painful death imaginable and then some. Now, I have a mission for the brats. Everyone else is dismissed."

Kakashi had to support a sobbing Iruka out of the room while Ibiki and Asuma had to guide the shell-shocked Kurenai and Anko, the two women had silent tears falling from thier eyes. Hinata was crying into Kiba's shoulder, while Ino hugged Chouji tightly. Shikamaru had his arms wrapped around Temari's shoulders while she leaned back into his embrace, fighting back her tears. Sakura was crying into Lee's shoulder while he held her close to him with tears falling silently from his eyes as well. Tenten held Neji's hand tightly as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Neji, Shino, Sasuke, Gaara, and Kankuro stood still, thier usually expressionless faces a mixture of emotions.

"You guys gave Naruto hope, if you betray him now he'll break. There is one thing I think some of you should know. He has the annoying habit of setting people up with others. He got Kakashi and Iruka together without them knowing. Hell, he got me together with Jiraiya without us having a clue. And I have a feeling that he set all of you guys up and has plans for everyone else who isn't together with someone." This shocked everyone out of thier sadness. Tsunade couldn't help but chuckle at thier expressions.

Naruto jerked awake when he heard laughter, but he slowly relaxed when he recognized it as Tsunade's. "Baa-chan, can I add one more person to the team?" "Your awake brat. Sorry, but I slipped and told them how you were behind most of them getting together." At this Naruto sat up and stared at Tsunade horrified. "But you promised not to say anything after I told you how I tricked you and Ero-sennin into getting together." "I thought I told you to stop calling me that brat." Naruto ignored Jiraiya's angry shout.

"Who did you want to add to the team?" "Can I get Haku, or is he still busy spying?" "His cover was nearly blown so I think it's best if he would disappear for a little. Zabuza is still causing chaos everywhere he goes, so no one's suspicous of him being a spy and the fact that he keeps a low profile isn't suspicous in the least because he plays the whole 'I want to stay hidden cuz I'm suppose to be dead' and the 'I want to kill the bastard for thinking he killed me' act perfectly. It also isn't suspicous with him coming to Konoha all the time since he can say he's checking up on his enemies when he's really giving status reports. He's been acting a little odd lately. Do you know why?" Naruto gave her a grin that was worthy of the King of Mischief himself.

"No way. You set him up with someone?" Naruto's grin became even wider as he nodded. Tsunade felt her jaw drop in shock. "Who? Tell me who and how you did it?" Naruto began to laugh, falling out of her lap to roll on the floor clutching his sides as he laughed even harder. Finally, gasping for breath, he managed to speak. "I wouldn't call them a couple just yet, but it looks promising. And there is no way I'm going to tell you how. As for who, you just saw him. I'll let you take a guess." "Asuma?" "Nope, he's going out with Kurenai. You should have seen the looks on thier faces when I set them up on a blind date with each other. It was absolutely priceless. Nope, it's Ibiki." _"Ibiki?!?"_ "Yep, I also have plans for Anko, but I'm not sure who would be the perfect match for her."

An evil grin spreading across his face, Naruto turned to look at the shocked faces of his friends. "Don't worry, I have plans for you guys too. Gaara, Kankuro, Shino, and Sasuke, you're the only ones left that I haven't worked my magic on. You won't know what hit you." Naruto burst out laughing again as looks of horror spread across the four boy's faces.

Tsunade was still recovering from her shock. Jiraiya was passed out on the floor, twitching violently. "I'm sorry I tricked you guys, but it was so obvious that you belonged together. I mean, even an idiot could tell that most of you guys liked each other. But you have to admit, your happy together. Am I right?" Tsunade sweatdropped at this, as did almost everyone else. There was no way that it was obvious, except in Lee's case, but for all the others it wasn't. But Naruto was right, they were happy together, and now that they thought about it, they could pick out times that Naruto had tricked them in one way or another.

Sasuke recovered from his shock enough to ask a question. "What are you talking about Naruto, aren't Zabuza and Haku dead?" "They aren't. I cast a genjutsu on you guys, including Kakashi-sensei, and fought both of them myself. The mist helped a lot though. Kakashi thinks that Fox had killed Zabuza and that the genjutsu I cast to make myself look like Zabuza and also made it look like I was being impaled by all those weapons when I killed Ganzou was to terrify his men. I also froze up on purpose when the Demon Brothers attacked." Sasuke stared in shock then quickly recovered, although Naruto was different, he was still the same in many ways. "Jiraiya, wake up. I need you to go and get Haku for me."

Tsunade felt her eye twitch when Jiraiya stayed passed out on the floor. "Let me do it Baa-chan." Naruto walked over to Jiraiya, performing his trade marked Kage Bushin. Six Narutos surrounded the unconcious man, then together, they performed Naruto's legendary Sexy no Jutsu. They dog piled the man and began to purr and coo phrases. Immediately his eyes snapped open, his nose nearly bursting as blood gushed out. A cloud of smoke appeared as the naked girls disappeared. When the smoke cleared, it revealed a laughing Naruto. Tsunade glared at Jiraiya, before she gave Naruto a half-amused, half-annoyed look.

"I need you to bring Haku here immediately, do you understand?" Wiping the blood away, he nodded before he left through the window. "I thought I told you to use the DOOR!" Sighing, Tsunade sat back down, rubbing her temples. "Naruto, do you remember your trip to London?" Naruto nodded, his eyes thoughtful. "I think it had something to do with reportings of the snake-pervert talking with another snake-pervert. Does this mean we're going where I think we are?" "If your thinking Hogwarts, then yes." "Why didn't you tell me? I know the old fart that runs the place. I met him a couple of times when I was younger. I think the last time I saw him was when I was six, I dyed his hair and beard purple while I dyed the Third's pink. It was so funny."

Tsunade had to choke back laughter as she imagined Sarutobi with pink hair. "I can't believe you would do that. I bet he tried to kill you." Naruto shook his head at her comment. "Much worse I'm afraid. He dyed my hair green, _lime_ green. It looked crazy, especailly with orange. I think Dumbledore almost died laughing. My hair was green for a week. I think I have a picture of the three of us with our hair dyed. I'll show it to you if I find it. From what you told me earlier, I can guess what the mission is."

Tsunade grinned. "Alright, take a guess. If your right, it saves me the trouble of explaining it."

"Dumbledore wants to hire a group of ninjas to act as guards at his school, Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry. If the team looks young enough, he wants them to pretend to be students. He not only wants us to guard the school but one student in particular, a Harry Potter if I remember correctly what I learned on my mission four years ago. An evil wizard, Voldemort, is trying to kill him. I think I remember hearing a rumor that he was resurrected last year. Since he's back, Dumbledore wants us to protect the school from the inside. And since we will be posing as students, we will be learning thier 'magic', which is simply another form of chakra. It is very similar to what we use, but the chakra is focused and molded with a wand. They don't have to do anything themselves because the wand does it for them. If we learned thier form of chakra manipulation, we would be stronger for it. It could also come in handy for various missions. The only downside to it is we have to learn four years worth of spells, history, and potions in order to pose as students. Am I right?"

"You got it. Like Naruto said, you will be going to Hogwarts and posing as foreign exchange students or transfer students. I would like you to keep the fact that you are Shinobi a secret, but if you can't than only tell the people you must. Now, be packed and back here in the next thirty minutes."

Everyone left but Naruto and the Sand siblings. "Naruto, if Haku isn't here then I'll send him to you later in the year. Please promise me, stay out of trouble." Naruto gave Tsunade a small grin, his blue eyes looking like those of an ancient man. "If I didn't stay out of trouble, then I wouldn't be alive today. I won't fail you, and I'll die before I let anything happen to my team. Do you think Orochamiru is joining forces with Voldemort? I thought I killed him when I brought Sasuke back?" "I don't know everything, but he is most certainly alive. The bastard probably kept himself alive just to annoy us. On this mission, I want you to gather as much information on the enemy as you can. Don't do anything that's too dangerous or that will attract attention. I'll send you help later on in the year." Nodding, Naruto sat down in a chair in front of her desk.

Now fifteen, Naruto had grown. He had lost all of his baby fat, leaving a very toned body. Whether it was due to lack of nutrition or genetics, he wasn't as tall as his peers and he had a slim and lithe build. Tsunade couldn't help but grin, the blonde brat was only 5'8, an inch or two shorter than she was. Even Gaara was taller by about four or five inches and he had a slightly larger build then Naruto, but he was still slim and seem to have a feminine air about him. Although Naruto could definitely pass for a girl, even without using a henge. He was very sensitive about his appearance and didn't take kindly to anyone who questioned his masculinity. More than a few people had ended up in the hospital when they chose to make fun of him.

Naruto curled himself up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest as he rested his forehead against them. Now that they knew the truth, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his heart making him feel lighter than he had ever felt. Slowly, his eyes drifted shut and he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Gaara stared at Naruto, his sand swirling around his feet as he tried to quell the anger he felt on the blonde's behalf. Sure, people had tried to kill him but he had been able to protect himself. Even when he wasn't able to protect himself, his sand did. This kept people from touching him, let alone hurting him. But Naruto had been raped, not just once but several times and on his birthday too. If the rape didn't cause psychological trauma, then it being done on his birthday would. Naruto even had to pretend to be something he wasn't.

Suddenly, the sleeping blonde began to shake, whimpering as he was assaulted by some unseen force. Gaara rushed to his side when he heard his friend speaking in a broken voice. "Please, I'll do anything. Just don't hurt me. No..." Kneeling in front of the blonde, he tried to shake him awake but got no response. Not knowing what to do, he pulled Naruto into his lap and hugged him tightly, gently rocking him back and forth. Naruto soon stopped whimpering as his shaking slowed until it disappeared completely. Gaara nearly jumped when he felt the blonde relax in his embrace.

Glancing up, he saw the shocked faces of his brother and sister. Taking a look over his shoulder, he saw the Hokage staring at him with wide eyes her mouth hanging wide open. Glaring, he managed to growl out a single word. "What?" But before anyone could answer, Naruto slowly opened his blue eyes. Blinking, he stared up at Gaara for a moment before he smiled sleepily and turned over in his lap so he could hug the boy back. He fell asleep almost instantly, a smile still on his lips. Gaara could feel his cheeks burn as he blushed, but he willed it away with slight difficulty.

Ten minutes later, everyone had returned, Jiraiya dragging Haku behind him. When they saw Gaara sitting on the floor with Naruto in his lap, a single thought ran through their minds. 'The world's going to end.'

Sasuke and Sakura were slightly surprised when they saw Haku. He looked even more feminine then he did when they first met. He was taller than Naruto, but shorter then everyone else since with the exception of Naruto, all the other boys were at least six feet tall if not a few inches over. "Good, now that everyone is here I'll tell you how you will be traveling. In two minutes you will all touch this piece of rope. It's a port key that should take you to the headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix. This is a secret orginization that is fighting against Voldemort and protecting Harry Potter. You will have to learn English if you don't already know it? Does anyone not know how to speak the language?"

When no one raised their hand, Tsunade gave a nod. "Good, then that's one less problem to worry about. You will have to learn four years worth of magic in order to pass as students, that is why you are going a month early. Send a status report every week. Use a summon animal to send it, as for team leader, Naruto will be it. Quick, grab your luaggage and touch the rope with at least a finger, we only have thirty seconds left." As if hearing what she had said, Naruto woke up and grabbed his backpack. He gave Tsunade a quick hug before he grabbed his mask and grabbed the end of the rope. Everyone else soon grabbed a piece of the four foot long rope as Tsunade began to count down. "Be good, three, two, one."

Everyone felt like a hook had been attached to their navel and was pulling them backwards as they spun around. After a minute they stopped, staggering a little as they hit the ground. Naruto felt his knees buckle as pain seared through him, focused around the Kyuubi's seal. Gaara caught him before he could hit the ground. Naruto pressed his head into Gaara's chest as he waited for the pain to recede. Slowly, it faded, leaving his body feeling bruised and battered all over. Taking a deep breath, Naruto forced himself to stand up straight. He gave Gaara a small smile and hug before he turned to take in his surroundings.

They were in a dimly lit kitchen that looked like it was being used for the first time in years. At a long table in the middle with benches, two men sat having a quiet conversation. Naruto didn't recognize either one. They were staring at them, and it was starting to get uncomforatable considering one of them had an electric blue eye that swiveled in its socket. "Is Dumbledore here?" When they didn't answer, Naruto sighed and scratched his head. "Great, the old man isn't here and we're stuck with a paranoid geezer and a werewolf. Why did I even agree to this?"

Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth as he realized he had just called the man a werewolf to his face. The man with the blue eye finally growled at him. "How did you know that Lupin was a werewolf?" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I could sense it. Now, can you tell me were Dumbledore is? Oh, I'm Naruto Uzumaki." "You can call me Mad-eye Moody. As for Dumbledore, he isn't here. He's attending a hearing at the Ministry of Magic. Now, why are you here?" "I can only tell you that we are transfer students. Do you have any Floo Powder?" This time, Lupin spoke. "In the flower pot above the fire place, why?"

Naruto flashed him his fox grin before he walked over a grabbed a pinch of the glittering powder. "Sasuke, Gaara, don't kill anyone. Sakura-chan your in charge until I get back. Don't answer any questions until I get back. I have a bone to pick with the old man." Before anyone could stop him, he threw the powder into the fireplace, shouting the Ministry of Magic before he stepped into the flames and disappeared.

They stared at the fireplace for a while before Lupin spoke. "Moody, shouldn't we go after him? He's bound to get into trouble if he barges in while their having the hearing." Moody just growled his annoyance as he shook his head. The group of ninja stared at the two wizards in silence, who stared back in response. They wouldn't move for the next hour.

* * *

A/N: I know, another cliffy. But it's so fun to end them this way. Please review. I'll try to update the next chapter in the next few hours. This will also probably turn out to be centered around Naruto a lot more than it is around Harry, but I do plan on having a couple Harry Potter pairings. I'll make a list of pairings and potential pairings in the next chapter. 


	4. Dementors, Trials, and Mr Cuddles!

Summary: The truth is revealed and the gang learns about Naruto being the legendary Anbu, Fox. His past treatment is also revealed as well as his being the Kyuubi holder. After this, they are given their mission. They used a portkey to travel and end up in the kitchen of Sirius's house. Naruto leaves for the Ministry of Magic. Now, is he going to keep his promise to stay out of trouble, or will he start a war?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jaraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke, Haku x Gaara, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x ?, Malfoy x ?, Anko x ?, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him.

A/N: Please review, I really would like to know if my story is any good at all. I'll probably update to the ninth chapter this weekend. If I don't get any reviews in the next week, even if they're anonymous, I'll probably give up on updating.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

* * *

**Chapter Four: Dementors, Trials, and _Mr. Cuddles!?!_**

Naruto stumbled out of the fireplace at the Ministry of Magic. His once orange outfit was now pitch black, but he didn't really care. Focusing, he quickly searched for Dumbledore's chakra. He growled as he picked up a faint trace coming from way below him. Stalking to an elevator, he completely ignored everyone around him.

His impatience grew as the elevator stopped at each floor. By the time they reached the ninth floor, he was ready to explode. He forced himself to walk down the corridor until he reached a door with a slightly balding man with flaming red hair standing next to it. It was here, just behind these doors. He kicked them open violently and stomped into the room.

Dumbledore looked up slightly surprised as he saw the blonde storm in, a slacked jawed Mr. Weasley staring after him. Fudge stopped shouting for a minute before he regained his composure and yelled at Naruto. "Who do you think you are? You can't just barge in here like you own the place. Leave this instance before I have some dementors escort you out."

Naruto's face went death white at the mention of the dementors. He turned slitted scarlet eyes on Fudge who flinched under the piercing gaze. "Are you the man in charge here?" This time Percy spoke up. "Of course he is, now leave. You are interrupting an important case." Naruto silenced him with a glare.

"If your in charge then that means you can answer my question. Why the hell were their dementors in a muggle neighborhood? I'm minding my own fucking business and out of nowhere, two of them appear running from some silver stag before the stag disappeared. I could understand it if you had sent them to catch a Death Eater or something, but the only fucking wizard I even sensed within twenty miles of the area is that boy there. Now, can you please answer this simple question for me. What the fuck were you thinking?"

Dumbledore's eyes widened in shock. This boy had seen the dementors, not only that, he had seen Harry's Patronus. Fudge stared for a moment before he spoke. "You must be mistaken, no dementors have been sent out into muggle neighborhoods. Now, will you please leave or would you like a pair of dementors to escort you to a cell?" Naruto glared at the man before an evil smirk spread across his face. His eyes returned to their normal blue appearance.

Drawing a kunai, he sliced his palm open before forming a series of hand seals. He pressed his hand to the floor, a cloud of smoke appearing as he summoned a blood red fox with three tails. "What do you want Naru-chan?" Naruto smiled at the fox's nickname for him. "Please deliver this message to Tsuande. Unless you want to go to war with the wizarding world, then get your ass over here before I pull a Gaara and go on a killing spree. Tell her she has two minutes. Bring her here directly, okay Ruby?" The fox smiled, disappearing with a small pop and a cloud of smoke.

She wasn't even gone for more than a minute when she reappeared with a very angry Tsunade. _"I told you to stay out of trouble. And if you didn't know, killing people and starting a war is getting into trouble."_ Naruto stopped her angry rant as he allowed a few tears to slide down his cheeks, unable to keep them back any longer. She immediately forgot her anger as she rushed over and embraced him. _"Talk. Now."_ Naruto nodded his head before he hid his face into her chest.

"Remember my trip to investigate an odd barrier that was found? Well, I didn't tell you that I ran into a couple of dementors. I was able to teleport back to my hotel room before their presence took effect. I remembered things I didn't want to remember. I was forced to relive my fifth birthday. The guy in charge says that the dementors must have been a figment of my imagination since he hadn't sent them. Then he threatened to have a pair escort me out for interrupting a _trial. _But its more like the kid has to sit and listen to the bastard call him a liar and then punish him for telling the truth and doing some magic that saved his life."

At this, Fudge exploded. "How dare you doubt me! When I said that there is no possible chance that a dementor was sent out, then its true. And what the hell did you do? Where did that fox come from and how the hell did it apparate? Not to mention the woman." "Don't you dare say another word or I will be more than willing to declare war on you. I didn't know that you wizards were so disrespectful that you would yell at the Prime Minister of Fire Country."

Fudge ignored her early warning and yelled at her. "What Prime Minister? And their is no such place as Fire Country." Tsunade cut him off. "You must be incompetent at your job Cornelius Fudge, because if you had done your job properly, then you would be familiar with the Treaty of Ignorance that my grandfather had signed when he founded Konoha. Since you don't know what it says, I'll give you the simple version. Only the members of the Ministry of Magic would know of the existence of our continent, which is hidden from the entire world, much like Hogwarts with the exception that ships and planes are teleported to the other side if they try to sail or fly through it. It was agreed that if you left us alone, we would leave you alone. It did not mean that interaction was prohibited, but because the majority of our population didn't know about wizards, they were ignorant of your existence and vice versa. Now, please explain to me why you, as a leader, didn't know of my country's existence until I told you? Are you not suppose to know all treaties that have been signed by those that preceded you?"

Fudge went very pale at this. Apparently he had heard of Konoha. "Please forgive me Tsunade-hime, I had completely forgotten. Harry, since it seems that what you have said is true you will be pardoned, but you might not be so lucky the next time you use magic outside of school. Tsunade-hime, would you like to join me for a cup of tea. I'm sure there is much we should talk about."

Tsunade hid a smirk as she bent down and planted a kiss on Naruto's cheek. She whispered quietly into his ear so that only he heard what she said. "Don't worry, I'll make the bastard squirm for ya. Now be good and don't start any wars with other countries. You can cause chaos at school as long as you don't use any jutsus. Have fun. And Naruto, do yourself a favor and be selfish for once. You deserve to be loved. I know you like Sasuke, and I have a feeling its mutual. Confess to him, see where it goes from there." Tsunade pulled away and gave him a smile before ruffling his hair. "I'll see you later. Don't forget, send your reports every week with a summon."

Harry couldn't believe what had just happened. A blonde boy bursts into the courtroom and starts screaming at Fudge, then he makes a fox appear without a wand and tells it to get someone or he would kill people. And if that wasn't enough, a blonde woman with the biggest breasts he's ever seen apparates into the room and starts yelling at the blonde boy for a minute before she gives him a hug. The blonde said something and then Fudge starts yelling. The blonde woman starts yelling back saying something about hidden continents and a treaty. Then Fudge apologizes and he's free to go.

Harry looks at Dumbledore who seems to be just as startled as he was, but he was smiling with his blue eyes twinkling more than usual. Harry didn't say a word until they were out of the room and halfway down the hall. "What just happened?" Dumbledore smiled. "I don't really know Harry, but he just got you out of trouble. And just who might you be young man?" The blonde boy had followed them out of the courtroom. He looked hurt for a moment before he flashed them a smile. "You really did look better with purple hair old man. I could dye it for you again, but I think I'll do it orange this time."

Harry had no clue what the boy was talking about, neither did Mr. Weasley, but apparently Dumbledore did. "I daresay that green really did suit you. Especially that shade of lime." Naruto chuckled as he cracked a genuine smile that reached his eyes, lighting his whole face up and making him look years younger. Harry was really confused at this point. He decided to ask the blonde a question. "Was that lady your mom or something?" Harry was surprised when the blonde stopped smiling and a look of sadness spread across his face, darkening his eyes until they were almost black. "No, she's the leader of my village." Harry took that as his que to shut up.

Dumbledore bowed his head in sadness. "I need to visit your village sometime. Naruto-kun, do you mind telling me how he died. Your Hokage only said that he was killed during battle." Naruto nodded solemnly. "I'll tell you later. But I think Tsunade-baa-chan didn't want to tell you how he died in a letter because she wanted to tell you in person since you were an old friend of the Third's. We should hurry back. The transfer students are waiting and I have the feeling that you failed to mention our arrival since we were greeted by a paranoid lunatic and a werewolf. I told everyone to stay silent until I came back with you." Dumbledore nodded as he led the way into the elevator.

Naruto spoke again, but this time he spoke in a mixture of five different languages that weren't English. _"Tsunade sent sixteen, including myself. We're all fifteen or sixteen, but we are some of the best and we have the added advantage of being underestimated because we are children. We will need to get wands if we are going to learn anything in this next month. I would like it if none of the teachers besides yourself knows what we are. I will assume that you will have some of your teachers catch us up in our studies. Tell them that we were not invited to Hogwarts because our magic was not detected until this summer due to the protective barrier around our village. Which is true in a way. Do not provide any special privlages to us. We will patrol the castle at night in shifts, if we get caught, which is highly improbable, then we will face whatever punishment is dealt to us. However, I do request that there be a room in which we will be allowed to train in." _

Dumbledore nodded. Naruto gave him a mischevious grin. "Just because I'm older doesn't mean I've matured any. I'll warn you in advance, what I did to your hair when I was six will look innocent compared to what I have planned. As a wise man once said, 'Age brings many things. Maturity isn't always included.' Now, I have a saying for you. 'Only risk what you are willing to lose.' That isn't so much a saying as it is a warning. This is my saying to you that I will most definitely employ. 'Pranks, only pull them if you won't get caught. But be prepared for retribution tenfold if you are.' I learned that when I sported such an interesting shade of green hair." Dumbledore sweat dropped as he remembered his part in the dying of Naruto's hair. It looked like Naruto was going to play a prank that took a decade to plan.

Sasuke was fuming. He had found Naruto in Gaara's lap in Tsunade's office and then the blonde had given him a hug when they arrived. It had been almost an hour since Naruto left and he was beginning to get annoyed with having to stay in the same room with his new found love rival. It didn't help that Haku kept staring at him with a worried expression written all over his face.

Just before he could snap, Naruto fell out of the fire place quickly followed by a boy their age with spiky black hair, shocking green eyes similar to Sakura's, round glasses, and a thin lightning shaped scar slightly hidden behind his bangs. An old man with long silver hair and a beard of the same color that was long enough to tuck into his belt stepped out of the fire place gracefully, dusting off his purple robes. Sparkling blue eyes twinkled from behind a pair of half moon spectacles that were perched on a crooked nose that looked like it had been broken before.

The man that Naruto had called a werewolf quickly stood and rushed over to the bespeckled boy. Naruto gave a tired grin to his team before walking over to his backpack and digging through it. He pulled out a scroll and handed it to the old man who read it carefully.

Glancing at Haku, Naruto gave a heavy sigh before he spoke. "Haku, I thought I told you that Sasuke-teme wouldn't hate you just because of what happened in the past. You have heard of the phrase 'forgive and forget.' I doubt he hates you. Sure he's still probably pissed because you royally kicked his ass and handed it to him on a silver platter, but I don't think he hates you. If it will make you feel better, just apologize to the bastard. And Sasuke, stop glaring at Gaara. I don't know what he might have done to piss you off, but unless you want to contemplate what it would feel like to be buried in sand, I suggest you stop it. Oh, Shino and Kankuro, you'll probably be my first victims. Haku, are you still crushing on Zabuza or have you finally gotten over it and realized you saw him as more of a psychotic yet lovable older brother?"

Sasuke could feel his lips twitching as he held back a smile. Kankuro and Shino looked absolutely terrified. It was really funny. Sasuke looked at Haku and found the boy smiling sheepishly.

"Zabuza is not psychotic."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Okay maybe a little. And yes, I got over my crush. Why?" Naruto gave Haku a grin that sent shivers down his spine. "Oh, I just wanted to know if I should tell you that I was the one that set him up with Ibiki. They aren't that serious yet, but it looks good and its hilarious to watch them talking to each other. I don't think I've seen that much facial twitching in five minutes before. They refuse to show any emotion at all. That gives me an idea. If they aren't together when we get back, their going to be. Since you're no longer breaking your heart over Zabuza, I'm gonna hook you up. You'll never know what hit you, not even if you were staring it in the eye." Haku looked rather pale by the time Naruto finished his little speech.

Sasuke couldn't stop himself from smirking, unfortunately for him Naruto saw it. "Teme, don't think I don't have any evil schemes for you. Your last on my list but your still included." Gaara gave a small laugh and immediately drew Naruto's attention. "No, the world's going to end. I'm too young to die." This caused Gaara to scowl while Kiba burst into laughter, Akamaru yipping his opinion.

"You know what Gaara, you'll be my new teddy bear. Stupid Baa-baa kept mine. She said she would hug it whenever she missed me, meaning all the time. I want my Mr. Cuddles, but I guess you'll have to do." As if to prove his point, Naruto tackled the red head to the floor. Gaara sat up only to find Naruto in his lap and hugging him. He rested his head against his shoulder and fell asleep almost instantly.

All of the shinobi face-faulted when they heard light snoring coming from the blonde. Gaara's eye was twitching dangerously, but he didn't move to disturb the blonde. Finally he sighed and stood up, craddling the blonde in his arms. Naruto loosened his grip but didn't let go.

Sasuke glared at Gaara. How dare the red-head touch his Naruto. As if sensing the glare Naruto woke up and stared up sleepily at Gaara, much like he had with Tsunade. "What?" Naruto smiled as Gaara scowled at him. Turning his head, he looked at the old man. "The old man with the silver-hair is Dumbledore, he is the headmaster of the school that we will be attending. As for the other three wizards in the room, don't have a clue except that one's a werewolf, one's a paranoid old bat with a weird eye, and the other is a boy that seems to get in trouble with the government pretty often and he has a scar from a curse he got from an evil, perverted, snake dude. If you have any questions about what we will be doing tomorrow, direct them to the old man. Oh, Gaara, since your so cuddly, I'm gonna go back to sleep. Drop me and you'll learn a whole new meaning to the words hug and cuddle. Night."

Sasuke glared at Gaara, his jealousy apparent to all of the shinobi with the exception of Lee who was busy praising Naruto's flames of youth.

Dumbledore sighed, wishing that Naruto was still awake because he knew he would have to explain everything to him again. "Everyone take a seat and I'll start filling you in on what you will be doing. Harry, can you get everyone else? You'll all need to hear what I am about to say since it will make things easier for all of us. Remus, can you gather all of the available Order members that you can find. We will be needing their help with training." Harry disappeared into the hallway, returning with Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, Ginny, Ron and Hermione. Lupin also left and came back with Tonks, Snape, McGonagall, and Sirius.

Dumbledore conjured up extra chairs and an especially soft arm chair for Gaara who had the misfortune of holding a sleeping blonde. He took the seat gratefully, sinking into the soft cushions as Naruto shifted slightly in his lap. When everyone was seated, Dumbledore began to explain things.

"There will be sixteen transfer students at Hogwarts this year. They are new to the wizarding world since their was a barrier around their village that hid their magic until just recently. If they can learn four years worth of magic in the next month, then they will start as fifth years and will be sorted with the first years at the start of school feast. I will need your help in teaching them everything they need to know. As Naruto told me earlier, the sixteen of you will require wands. We might as well get all of your school supplies tomorrow. I'm sure that Mrs. Weasely will be kind enough to help you since she has experience. It would be so much easier to explain things if Naruto was awake, but since he isn't it can't be helped. Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall will tutor you, as will Lupin and Moody. Now, would you like to introduce yourselves. Just your first names will be fine, we can do full introductions later."

The shinobi nodded. "Sakura, nice to meet you." "Lee. The flames of youth burn..." Sakura slapped him on the head to shut him up so Neji could introduce himself. "Neji, a pleasure to meet you." "Tenten." "Hinata, Neji's my cousin." "Kiba, and this is Akamaru." Akamaru yipped his greeting. "Troublesome. Shikamaru." Shikamaru yawned before laying his head back on the table. "Temari." Chouji stopped eating his chips long enough to give his name. "Chouji." Ino glared at her boyfriend before smiling brightly. "I'm Ino." "Sasuke." "Haku. Nice to make your aquaintance."

"..."

Kankurou sighed. "Mr. Silent is Shino and I'm Kankurou. One of Temari's younger brothers." "Gaara, Kankurou's and Temari's younger brother. The blonde..." Naruto cut him off as he sat up and leaned back into Gaara's chest.

"Naruto. Now, before we finish introductions, let me get a few things straight. The old man filled you in on the magic blocking barrier thing that surrounds our village, right? Good, we'll skip the whole boring part of learning four years worth of magic in the next four weeks. Tomorrow we go shopping for all of our school supplies along with the other Hogwart's students that are here. I have a vault there with a mountain of gold collecting dust, so I'm paying for all of the supplies, for every student here, no arguments or you might find your hair an interesting new color. Ask the old man what happened to his hair when he tried to pay for a present that I had picked out for him. Our first stop when we get to Diagon Alley will be Gringotts. Then our chaperone will decide where we go next. Our last stop will be the wand shop since I don't want to be tempted by mischief and cause trouble. Oh, and if you have a crush and need help to confess, I'm the guy to turn to. Ask the couples here, I set them all up and I have plans for the five guys that are single. I'll probably have played matchmaker for at least a few of the students by the end of the school year. Now, I'll stay awake for your introductions, but as soon as your done I'm going back to sleep."

"Then, would you be kind enough to remove yourself from my lap?" Gaara kept his voice as pleasant as he could make it. "Nope. I already told you, you're my new Mr. Cuddles. Unless you can find me another replacement, your stuck with me." Gaara looked like he was ready to kill. Dumbledore stiffled a chuckle as he stared at the blonde, remembering the small blonde boy that he used to be.

"You already know me, but I'll introduce myself again. Mad-eye Moody. Call me Mad-eye or Moody don't really care." "Tonks. Naruto, what did you do to Dumbledore's hair?" Naruto gave her a grin as he said in a stage whisper. "I think you should ask what he did to my hair in response." Tonks turned to Dumbledore, but he was whistling softly and staring at the ceiling. She gave a disappointed sigh as a plump red-headed woman introduced herself and her family. "I'm Molly, but you can call me Mrs. Weasely. These are my sons, Fred, George, and Ron. And this is my daughter Ginny." Naruto gave the twins a knowing smile which they returned with one of their own. They would get along just fine. "I'm Hermione." "Harry." "Harry's godfather, Sirius." "Servius Snape, but you will adress me as Professor Snape." "Professor McGonagall, I'll be your Transfiguration teacher." "Remus Lupin, but you can just call me Lupin." "And I'm ..."

"Old man. Legendary nut. Weird guy with the twinkling eyes. Expert extraordinare at ignoring questions. The one, the only, Albus too many names to remember Dumbledore. Yeah, I think we know who you are. If Baa-chan is still here, she'll probably have a word with you. Don't worry if she threatens you with extreme pain and torture if something bad were to happen to me. She's weird like that. Don't know why since I annoy her all the time." Dumbledore chuckled.

"I'm Albus Dumbledore, but you can call me Dumbledore-sensei if you are more comfortable with that. Now, I hope you don't mind sharing rooms. As you can probably tell, this house hasn't been lived in for a while and many of the rooms are unhabitable until we can clean them out."

Naruto gave a huge yawn. "Old man, give us a room and some sleeping bags and we'll be set for the night. As comfortable as Gaara's lap is, I'm pretty sure he'd kill me in my sleep if I stayed in his lap all night. I'm also pretty sure we've all had worse sleeping conditions than some sleeping bags. I remember one time I fell asleep while sitting under a waterfall, man talk about wrinkled skin. It was winter too, the only reason I remember that is cause I had to stay in bed for two weeks because I had pneumonia. What time do we have to be up tomorrow? If it isn't too early then I'll make breakfast for everyone. Doesn't matter what you have, I'll whip something up."

Dumbledore chuckled as everyone sweat dropped at the blonde's words. Naruto was still the same as he remembered. "You'll leave for Diagon Alley at eight, so you should be up and ready by at least 7:30 if you want to eat breakfast before you go. Now, you will also need to buy..." "We need to buy the books that were required for the first four years of school. Yeah, yeah. Give me some credit old man, I'm not so stupid that you have to point out the obvious. Ah screw it. Gaara, tuck me in would ya. Night people." Naruto instantly went back to sleep as everyone but Gaara face-faulted.

Gaara sighed, stood up and dumped the slumbering blonde into Sasuke's lap. Sasuke didn't even flinch as the blonde hugged him and buried his face into his chest. He smirked at Sasuke as Naruto started to drool, mumbling about dancing ramen bowls. Sasuke glared at the red-head before he turned to Dumbledore. "Can you please show us to our rooms? As Naruto said, we have all had worse sleeping conditions than a hard floor and sleeping bags. Naruto though, is the only idiot that would fall asleep under a waterfall in the dead of winter." "Ah, but of course. If you will follow me, then I will show you to your rooms. Please be quiet when you enter the hall." Sasuke stood up and followed the old wizard into the hallway. He was shocked at how light Naruto was. He was probably lighter than all of the girls.

The girls were given a room, Dumbledore conjured up bright purple sleeping bags for them before bidding them good night. He led the boys to a room further down the hall, conjuring the same bright purple sleeping bags that he had for the girls. He bade them good night, ruffling Naruto's blonde spikes before he left. Sasuke had some difficulty pulling the blonde off of him, but with Haku's help they finally managed to wrestle the boy into a sleeping bag. Gaara sat on the sleeping bag on Naruto's left and Sasuke was quick to grab the one on the right. With one final look at his secret love, Sasuke slipped into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

A/N: So, what do you think. Please review. I might not be able to update any more chapters for a while cause my computers acting funny. Stupid technology. I also know that there isn't two spaces between sentences, for some reason the stupid computer wouldn't let me edit it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. And please review. 


	5. Nightmares, Cookies, Robes, and Wands

Summary: Naruto goes to the Ministry of Magic and disrupts Harry's trial. He got Harry out of trouble since he had witnessed the dementors that had attacked him as well as Harry's Patronus. After failing to start a war and getting Tsunade to torment Fudge, Naruto returns with Harry and Dumbledore to the hideout of the Order. They go through introductions and turn in for the night. What new surprises will the morning bring?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jaraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke, Haku x Gaara, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x ?, Malfoy x ?, Anko x ?, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him.

A/N: Please review, I really would like to know if my story is any good at all. I'll probably update to the ninth chapter this weekend. If I don't get any reviews in the next week, even if they're anonymous, I'll probably give up on updating. If I've spelt anything wrong or got the names wrong, pleas tell me.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

* * *

**Chapter Five: Nightmares, Cookies, Robes, and Wands**

A scream pierced through the house as the sun peaked above the horizon, waking everyone from their sleep. Sasuke jerked awake at the terror filled voice. For a moment, he was unsure of who had made the noise until he heard whimpering from his left.

It was Naruto. He was curled into a tiny ball and was whimpering softly in his sleep. Sasuke touched his shoulder, shocked when the blonde flinched. Gripping both shoulders, he tried to shake the boy awake, slightly aware that the girls had come rushing into the room. Seeing the trembling blonde, Sakura immediately rushed to his side, gently slapping his face as she tried to wake him. He refused to open his eyes.

Worried, Gaara ran down to the kitchen and returned with a bucket of water. He poured the icy liquid onto the blonde, sucessfully waking him. Naruto shot up and into a corner as his mind tried to seperate the real world from his nightmare. '

**Kit, calm down. It was just a nightmare. You're safe, they can't hurt you anymore. Breathe. We've practiced it before. In, out, in, out. Good.' **Naruto slowly nodded his head as he shivered, forcing himself to focus on his breathing. He gradually became aware of his surroundings as a figure approached him. Looking up, he saw the concerned eyes of Sasuke. **'Kit, don't space out. He's asking if your okay. At least nod your head or something.' **

Naruto blinked, then blinked again as he realized he was the center of everyone's attention. He grinned sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, bad dream." He really wished that he had his Mr. Cuddles. He would hug the stuffed bear every time he had a bad dream. It never failed to calm him down. Sighing, he stood up and walked over to his backpack.

After rummaging around, he finally found the outfit that he was looking for. He shook his head, trying to rid his hair of some of the water that Gaara had poured onto him. A chorus of indignant yelps met his ears as the water hit unsuspecting bystanders. Naruto couldn't stop the smirk that spread across his face. "Does anyone know what time it is?"

Surprisingly enough, it was Dumbledore who answered. He had just walked into the room to see what all the fuss was about. "Seven. Are you still up to making breakfast? I know Molly would appreciate the help. I'll wake her up so she can show you around the kitchen." "Ah, let her sleep. I know my way around a kitchen. Just point out the fridge and cookware and I'm good to go. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?" Dumbledore smiled as he pointed out a door further down the hall. "Thanks old man. Will you be staying for breakfast or do you want me to see if you can meet with Baa-chan?"

"I was hoping you could contact Tsunade-hime to see if we could meet in person. I remember a few of the stories Sarutobi told me about his students." "Sure, sure. Let me summon Ruby and I'll see if the old hag is still here." A few hand seals, some blood, and a cloud of smoke later, Ruby sat in the middle of the room, yawning widely. "Whatcha need Naru-chan?" "Is Baa-chan still here of did she leave already?" "No, she's currently at the Leaky Cauldron. Probably getting drunk or gambling. She said that she would be leaving at around noon, that way she would get back at night." Naruto couldn't stop himself from smiling. "That sounds just like her, ditching her paperwork. Shizune's going to chew her ear off for this. Oh well, I guess we'll see her when we go to Diagon Alley. Thanks Ruby." "Say hi to Kyu-chan for me." "Sure sure. Now get going, I don't want you causing trouble." Ruby smirked, disappearing in the usual cloud of smoke.

Naruto went to the bathroom and stripped out of his orange jumpsuit, happy that he could finally wear something else. He pulled on his baggy cargo pants and the form fitting black sleeveless shirt that he had grabbed. Sticking his head under the sink, he ran water over his blonde spikes, rubbing them partially dry with a towel. Fully awake now, he bundled up his dirty clothes and slipped back into the room and stuffed them into his backpack before he made a dash for the kitchen.

Unfortunately for him, he tripped over his baggy pants as he dashed down the stairs. He landed at the bottom with a loud crash. A pair of curtains flew open, revealing a picture of an old woman. "Traitors. Mudblood filth. Get out of my house. Leave you wretched..." "Shut up you old hag. Do you want me to slice up your wrinkly face?" For a moment the picture was silent, then she started screaming again. Fed up, Naruto yanked the curtains closed, slapping a seal on them so they wouldn't open again. Grumbling, Naruto entered the kitchen, his bad mood immediately disappearing as he set about destroying the kitchen. He was sure to lock the door behind him so no one could enter until he was done.

Sasuke stared at the locked door, hearing another small explosion. "What do you think he's doing in there?" Sasuke shrugged. Sakura looked around at everyone else, looking for an opinion. Harry decided to answer. "Besides blowing up the kitchen, I have no clue." Mrs. Weasley looked worried as she stared at the door. "I hope not. If he got hurt, we wouldn't be able to get in to help him."

As if to prove her point, a high-pitched scream was heard from the kitchen. Several loud explosions followed it. Sasuke was about to break down the door when it swung open, revealing an unscathed and grinning blonde. "Did you like the theatrics? I must say, that scream was really convincing. It sounded like I chopped off my hand or something. Breakfasts ready so you can come in now." Everyone face faulted, then picked themselves up as a heavenly aroma met their noses.

"There's a mixture of foods from here and our country so feel free to experiment. Don't worry, I tasted everything myself so you shouldn't get food poisoning. Old man, are you going to come with us? I kinda wanted to surprise Baa-chan. I made her some cookies. Man, she eats them almost as much as she drinks sake. I think I'll have to send her a huge box every week while I'm gone."

Sakura gave a small shriek. "You mean you made those cookies? You'll need to send more than a box. Shizune's hooked on them too. And you defenitely have to make me and Hinata some. We've searched all the stores for them and couldn't find them. Tsunade wouldn't tell us were she got them. She eats at least a dozen everyday, and if she doesn't get any, let's just say crossing her on one of those days will gurantee you a month's vacation in the hospital." Sasuke looked slightly surprised, but when he remembered the chicken Naruto had made, he felt a small trickle of drool form at the side of his mouth. He had to get some of those cookies.

Harry couldn't believe the amount and variety of food that was on the table. He didn't even bother trying to identify the different dishes. He grabbed a plate and began to pile a little bit of everything on it. Ron and Hermione were doing the same, as was everyone else.

Moody stared at the food, not quite trusting the blonde's cooking abilities. "Old bat, if I wanted to kill you, you would be dead without you even knowing it. Now, stop staring and start eating before it's all gone. Between Chouji and the twins, there'll be nothing left pretty soon." And it was true, the three boys were inhaling as much food as they could get their hands on. Moody took a cautious bite, his eyes widening in disbelief. It was the best tasting pancakes he had ever had. Hell, everything was delicious.

"Naruto, you should open a restaurant. Hell, screw the restaurant. I'll pay you to cook every single meal for me." Naruto laughed as Chouji stared at him in awe. "Sorry Chouji, but I have to kick the old hag out of office. I might open a restraunt when I retire, but that's a long ways away. But I guess I could cook for everyone once a week. We could make it a tradition or something. You guys can take turns requesting dishes or something." "Dear, you have to show me how you made these biscuits, they're absolutely to die for." Naruto blushed at Mrs. Weasely's comment. "Sure. I'll show you Mrs. Weasely, but you'll have to show me how to make this cake that I found in the cookbook. I haven't heard of some of the seasonings they used."

Sasuke looked around the table, satisfied that everyone had looks of delight on their faces as they tried each dish. Even Gaara, Neji, and Shino had looks of amazement on their faces. Sasuke was sure that his face also betrayed his awe. It was almost eight when the last biscuit was eaten. Everyone had complimented Naruto on his cooking, even Snape which seemed to have shocked all of the other Hogwarts students and a few of the adults.

"Ah, I almost forgot. I kinda got carried away with the cookies and I ended up making somewhere around fifty dozen so you guys can have a dozen each. The rest I'll give to Baa-chan." Sakura gave a squeal of delight as she rushed over and glomped onto Naruto. Hinata also gave the blonde a shy hug. "Wait, your going to give Tsunade-sama twenty dozen cookies. Isn't that a bit much." Kiba stared at the blonde, waiting for an answer.

"Nope. She usually goes through that many in a week or two. I'm also going to have her share them with Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Ero-sennin, Zabuza, Ibiki, Anko, Kurenai, Asuma, Shizune, and Gai. I don't think I left anyone out. Anyway, can someone help me box these while everyone else gets ready. Oh, old man, do you have the list of school supplies that we will need?"

"Ah, yes. We decided that you'll only purchase the books for your fifth year. You can use everyone's old ones to study from. If you don't learn everything in time, then we'll have you purchase the books and things you'll need. Do you need some boxes for the cookies?" "Hai. Can I get ten boxes, and thirty bags? The boxes should be able to fit at least two dozen cookies each, and the bags should be big enough for a dozen. If I hurry, I should be done in ten minutes."

---Fifteen Minutes Later---Leaky Cauldron---

Naruto was the last to arrive, a bag hugged close to his chest. Brushing off his clothes, he spotted Tsunade immediately. Grinning he skipped over to her, shouting into her ear to wake her up. What happened next was absolute chaos. Roaring, Tsunade had picked up the table and flung it at the blonde who screamed dodging just in time. Unfortunately, the table flew straight at Sakura and Hinata who had caught it by reflex, used to Tsunade flinging furniture. The patrons at the bar stared slacked jawed as the two girls calmly set the table back down in its original place.

Tsunade had started yelling at Naruto but had stopped when he held a cookie under her nose. Like an obedient puppy, Tsunade had stopped yelling and sat down, staring at Naruto with puppy dog eyes that looked absolutely ridiculous. Naruto laughed before he handed her his bag of cookies, keeping the one in his hand for himself.

"There are twenty dozen cookies in the boxes in this bag. You have to share them though. There's a list of the people you have to share with. If they aren't there, then mail it to them. I'll send you at least three dozen a week. I'll also send a couple boxes for everyone else. But you have to settle for these for the next few weeks since I probably won't have time to bake any. Oh yeah, the old man wanted to talk to you. If you need me, I'll be in Diagon Alley shopping with everyone else. I also put seals on the boxes so you can't open them until you reach Konoha. And all of them won't open for you either so you have to share. I won't make you cookies ever again if you don't share, and I will find out if you don't. Bye, got to go."

Naruto left a horrified looking Tsunade with a chuckling Dumbledore who was happily munching on his cookies. Sakura gave Tsunade a comforting pat on the back while Hinata simply gave her a small piece of advice. "It's better to share his cookies than never have them again. You can always bribe him to make you more later, but if he says he'll never make you cookies again, he definitely won't make you any." Tsunade nodded, clutching the bag of cookies to her chest.

Gaara was having a hard time containing his laughter. He understood why the Hokage had looked so horrified. Naruto's cookies were addictive. Just one bite and you were hooked, it didn't matter what type of cookie it was. He had made sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, oatmeal raisan cookies, and choclate chip cookies, all of them were just as addictive. But the look of absolute horror was just so funny.

A muffled giggle came from his left and Gaara glanced over just in time to see Haku trying to supress a smile. He felt his breath catch in his throat as his heart beat sped up at the sight of the smiling boy. He was just so...cute.

Wait, did he just think that Haku was cute?

**'Yep, you did. And your right, he is pretty cute.' **'Shut up. Stupid racoon.' Gaara could hear Shukaku laughing in the back of his mind. Ever since he had lost to Naruto, the racoon demon had finally settled down. He could even sleep at night without the demon taking control of his body, but he still stayed up most nights. Old habits died hard, and it still was very unsettling to wake up.

Oddly enough, Shukaku had only driven him mad because he had thought that his cousin had been killed and he was going insane himself. But now that he knew that Kyuubi was sealed like he was, he wasn't as cruel as he used to be. He was still cruel, but that was how he used to be according to Kyuubi. Gaara had found this change greatly appreciated, except now the racoon would talk to him more often and he found this extremely annoying at times.

**'You should talk to the blonde brat. He'll probably know what you're feeling since it seems he plans on getting you a mate. It sure as hell would make things easier for you. I mean, he set up _Ibiki _and _Zabuza._ If he got those two nuts together, I don't even want to find out what he'll do to you.' **Gaara shuddered at the thought.

The racoon had a point, he definitely didn't want to find out what Naruto had planned. Looking for the blonde, he was surprised to find himself in an alleyway standing in front of a brick wall. He watched in boredom as Mrs. Weasely pulled out her wand and tapped some bricks. His jaw nearly dropped as the bricks began to move around until they formed and archway that led out to a brightly lit cobble-stoned street. He looked at his companions and was surprised that only Naruto didn't look shocked, but then he remembered that the blonde had said that he had been here before.

"Mrs. Weasely, where do you want to go first?" Mrs. Weasely glanced at the blonde boy next to her. "I suppose we should get your robes first since that will probably take the longest." "Okay, then I'll meet you guys at Madam Malkins. I'll run over to Gringotts to get the money. And I'm paying for everything, no arguments. You can't go to your vaults either since I got your keys. I'll give them back to you after we finish shopping. See you at Madam Malkins in fifteen minutes." With that, Naruto took off down the street leaving several shocked wizards behind.

"Well, come along dears. We'll get your robes first since it will certainly take the longest next to finding your wands." She led the large group down the street to a shop filled with different colored robes. Seeing the robes, Kiba immediately balked at the idea. "No way. I am not wearing a dress." Kankurou nodded his agreement. "I agree with dog-breath, I refuse to wear a dress."

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome." Temari nodded in agreement. "Shut up and wear them. Or do you want me to force you two into them?" Kankurou immediately backed down. His sister was scary when she was angry. Kiba still protested until both Ino and Sakura glared at him. He sulked as he was forced to be first to be fitted. Naruto showed up after Kiba, Kankurou, Chouji, Shikamaru, and Lee had been fitted. Neji was almost done.

"Hey guys. Sorry it took so long. I didn't know how much we would need so I ended up getting sacks for everyone. Lets see, there are sixteen of us plus five, that's twenty-one, plus another two and that's twenty-three. Good, I did get the right number of bags."

Dropping the sack he had slung over his shoulder, he started to hand out money-filled bags to everyone, including Mrs. Weasely. "That's my gift to you for being nice enough to chaperone all of us. Twenty-two kids is a lot to look after. Everyone has a hundred gold galleons. You can spend whatevers left after we get all of our school supplies." At the mention of how much was in each bag, Mrs. Weasely began to protest the amount. Naruto looked distraught as she tried to give the money back.

Seeing the blonde's distress Sasuke placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered into her ear. "Just take it. Not many people accept him back home, so he really cherishes those who like him for him. He might not show it, but he's really sensitive about gifts. If you reject it, it breaks his heart. And he's stubborn, so he will get you to accept the money sooner or later." Mrs. Weasely sighed, but she gave the blonde a huge hug which he returned with enthusiasm.

While he had passed out the money and had argued with Mrs. Weasely, the rest of group had been fitted except for him and Sasuke. Naruto decided to go last, leaving the Uchiha no choice but to stand on the stool and be fitted with the black robes. It took only three minutes, but they lasted an eternity since Naruto seem to find the whole thing fascinating and was staring at him. As Naruto hopped up onto the stool, a boy with silvery blonde hair entered the store. His icy blue eyes flashed with contempt when he spotted their group.

Naruto watched as the blonde boy stalked over to their group. "Dear, I'll need you to take off your shirt since it's getting in the way." Naruto hesitated. "Can't I keep it on?" "No dear. The fabric keeps sliding off. I'll only take a few minutes." As Naruto hesitated, the other blonde growled at him. "Hurry up. I don't want to wait forever you know. Especially if I have to be in the same store as a Weasely, or worse, a Mudblood." Naruto stared as Ron's face turned red with anger and Hermione blushed, from what, he wasn't quite sure.

Growling, Naruto yanked his shirt off and tossed it to Gaara to hold. He didn't notice the gasps that filled the room at the sight of his well muscled chest and stomach. He did notice the sharp intake of breath as Madam Malkin caught sight of the scars that criss-crossed his back. These scars were reminders of each time he had been raped, and Naruto suddenly felt very vulnerable.

"Malfoy, that was uncalled for." Harry hissed at the boy, seething with anger. Naruto blinked in surprise when he saw a look of pain flash in Malfoy's eyes before he pushed it aside. "Shut-up Potter. I don't have to listen to a nut job." Naruto grinned wickedly. He had just found his first victim.

Jumping off the stool, he walked over to Malfoy and stood on tip-toe to stare the taller boy in the eye. "Unless you would like me to rearrange that pretty face of yours, I suggest you keep quiet until it is your turn. Now, shut up and sit down."

Naruto turned his back on Malfoy and started to walk back to the stool when Malfoy spoke. "What the hell happened to your back? Oh, I know. Your parents couldn't stand you so they beat you. Am I right?" Naruto stayed rooted to the spot as he began to have flashbacks of what really happened.

Gaara immediately rushed to the blonde's side and hugged him when he started to shake. Furious, Sasuke had stepped in front of Malfoy, his eyes turning red as his Sharingan activated. Malfoy visibly flinched at the sight of his eyes. "Speak to him again and I will be sure to give you a very painful death." Malfoy nodded, his eyes wide with fright. Turning his back on him, he rushed over to Gaara and Naruto.

He was still shaking and his eyes were glazed over. Gaara was gently rocking the boy back and forth, whispering his name over and over. He looked worried. Naruto wasn't responding at all. "Sakura, can you snap him out of it?" Sakura and Hinata examined Naruto carefully, Hinata activating her Byakuugan. Sasuke hoped that they could fix the blonde, wondering if Tsunade had trained them enough for them to deal with whatever was affecting Naruto.

Hinata shook her head as Sakura spoke. "We can't do anything for him. Whatever Malfoy said must have triggered some memories that he was trying to supress. I would ask Ino to try to enter his mind, but it might cause more harm than good. All we can do is wait for him to snap out of it." Sasuke stared at the blonde, worry creasing his face. "Can Tsunade do anything?" Sakura shrugged. "I don't know, but I'll run and get her." She left the store at a dead sprint, keeping herself from running at full speed in order to keep their cover. Five minutes later, she returned with a very panicky Tsunade.

She nearly burst in to tears when she saw the shivering Naruto. Pulling the boy into her arms, she began to scan him with her chakra. Her eyes blazed with anger when he let out a small whimper. "Talk. Now. What happened?" It was Gaara who spoke first. "Malfoy insulted Hermione and the Weasely's, then he insulted Harry. Naruto told him to shut up. When Malfoy saw the scars on his back, he asked where he got them then said his parents probably gave them to him. Naruto seemed to space out at this statement then he started to shake." "Who's Malfoy?"

Gaara pointed to the terrified blonde. She glared at the blonde, before she returned her attention to the blonde in her arms. "Do you know what happened to him?" Tsunade turned pain filled eyes to Sasuke. "All I'll say is he's probably remembering how he got these scars. From what he told me, he got them on his birthdays and a few other days. I couldn't bring myself to question him further. He should snap out of it pretty soon. How long has he been like this?" "A little more than ten minutes." Sakura was quick to answer her teacher.

"Gaara, hold him for a little while. He should come to in a few minutes or so. If he has another one of these episodes, one of you guys hold him and whisper soothing words in his ear. They usually last for fifteen minutes or so. Whatever you do, don't move him from the room. And if he hugs you out of the blue, don't push him away. I did the first time and he was stuck like this for a day. He wouldn't talk for three days when he woke up. I'll be going. If I find out any of you hurt him, I will most definitely make you feel pain like you've never felt before. He's fragile, and can break easily, so please be careful with him." The fifteen shinobi nodded in understanding as they looked at the shaking blonde wrapped in Gaara's arms.

Tsunade placed a soft kiss on Naruto's forehead before she left the shop. A minute after she left, Naruto blinked, looking around in confusion before he shook his head. Pulling out of Gaara's embrace, he hopped onto the stool like nothing had happened. Madam Malkin quickly fitted him, a gentle smile on her face when she patted him on the shoulder. "You're all done dear. I should have all of your robes done by noon. Come back then." Naruto grinned and pulled his shirt back on, causing the girls to blush and a few of the boys too as they watched his muscles ripple.

Naruto looked hot in his new outfit. The skin tight shirt showed off his well sculpted muscles and his baggy pants hung low on his slim hips.

Sasuke stared at Naruto's ass, supressing a nose bleed as he watched the blonde move. He forced himself to look at the book cases as an attendant gathered the books they would need. The books were heavy so Naruto offered to carry the girls' and took them even as they protested saying that they could carry them on their own. Naruto ignored their protests and carried eight bags of books with ease. Neji, Lee, Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, Gaara, and Sasuke each grabbed a bag from the blonde, refusing to let him carry them. Gaara and Sasuke had grabbed Hermione's and Ginny's bags while the five other boys had grabbed their girlfriends' bags.

Naruto pouted when Haku took his bag. "I'm not a girl, I can carry my own bag." Haku just chuckled. "Fine then, see if I care." Naruto stormed out of the store and then came back looking at Mrs. Weasely sheepishly. "Where do we go next?" Nearly everyone burst into laughter, while Gaara, Neji, Shino, and Sasuke smirked. After all, they didn't laugh, not in public anyway.

Sasuke was very happy when they had finished shopping for everything but their wands. They had just picked up their robes and were now headed for the wand shop. At this point, everyone was carrying at least three bags, although the boys carried the heavier things. Naruto was bubbling with excitement as they entered the wand shop, all twenty-three of them crowding into the tiny shop.

"Ah, some new faces. You are here for your wands I presume. Dumbledore told me that you would be coming today. Alright, who will go first?" Naruto grinned as he pushed Sasuke to the front of the group. "Alright, stick out your wand arm." Sasuke blinked but decided the man meant his dominate hand. He stuck out his hand as a tape measurer began to measure him while the man went to search through rows of thin boxes. "Ah, here we go. Heart-string of a Chinese Fireball, twelve and a half inches long, made from a thousand year old banzai tree. Go ahead, give it a wave now." Feeling like a complete idiot, Sasuke waved the wand.

He was surprised when he heard chirping like that of the Chidori and sparks of electricity shot out of the wand, only to wrap around him before disappearing. "Ah, a perfect match. Next." This time, Naruto pushed Gaara foward. Gaara stuck out his hand as he waited for Ollivander to find a wand for him to try. "How about this? I've had it for a while and its too powerful for most wizards, but I think it will work for you. Eleven inches, made from the wood of an extinct tree that once grew in the desert, sand from a demon racoon for the core." Gaara took the wand and gave it a graceful wave, slightly surprised when a stream of golden sand trailed out, forming a small rose before disappearing. "Oh, another on their first try. Next."

Haku was Naruto's next victim. Sighing, he held up his arm as the man disappeared among the shelves once again. "Try this. Ten and three quarter inches, made from the wood of a tree that only grew in the coldest of places, hair of an ice wolf as its core." Haku flicked the wand, staring wide eyed as large fluffy snowflakes began to fall, disappearing in a cloud of blue dust whenever they touched something. "Wonderful. Next."

This time Naruto pushed Shino foward, his eyes gleaming with mischief. Shino stuck his arm out and was handed a wand almost immediately. "Twelve inches, wood from a willow that was a haven to all sorts of bugs, wings of a flame butterfly for the core. Come now, we don't have all day, give it a wave." Shino flicked it like Haku did and a stream of bright red and orange butterflies flew out of the wand tip. "Ah, truly magnificient. Next please." Kankurou was shoved foward almost immediately.

It was starting to get amusing as Naruto hid behind Mrs. Weasely as if he did nothing at all. "Hmm. You're trickier than the others. Why not? Try this, eight and a half inches with the same wood as the red-head. A mixture of pheonix tears and basalisk venom as the core." Kankurou gave it a sweeping wave and a stream of purple sparks and bubbles flew out of his wand. "Good good. I've never had so many get their wands on their first try. Nex..." Before he could even finish saying the word, Naruto had pushed Neji foward.

It took Ollivander a longer time to find Neji a wand to try. "Okay, this should do. Fourteen inches, wood from the Tree of Fate, and the feather of a rather ill-tempered pheonix as the core." Neji waved the wand, scowling as he did so. Naruto started laughing when he had heard what the wand was made of. He stopped however when a rain cloud appeared above his head and started dumping buckets of ice cold water on him.

"Neji, that was mean." Naruto pouted. "Hmm, not the most spectacular reactions, but it suits you. Next." Pouting still, Naruto shoved Lee foward. Ollivander took one look at Lee's bushy eyebrows and rushed to the back of the shop, coming back with a wand that was tinged somewhat green. "Eight and three quarter inches, wood from a unique green oak tree, petal of a lotus that grew on the back of a giant catepillar for the core."

Naruto had his eyes closed because he was laughing so hard, saving him from the blinding sunset scene that had appeared when Lee waved the wand. It was much like one of the scenes that appeared whenever Lee and Gai were together.

As everyone tried to regain their vision, Naruto shoved Chouji foward. Ollivander knocked down several boxes as he tried to find a certain wand while he was still half-blind. "That was one of the most unique reactions I've ever seen. Now where was it? Ah here it is. Eleven and a half inches, wood from an oak tree, and the hair of a rather big-boned unicorn for the core." Chouji gave it a small wave and nearly dropped it when a large plate of barbabeque pork appeared in front of him.

To his disappointment, it disappeared before he could touch it. Kiba was pushed foward next and Ollivander chuckled when he saw Akamaru. "I've got just the wand for you boy. Ten inches, wood from a dogwood tree, and the fang and fur of a two headed red wolf." Kiba gave the wand a slow wave, the room was filled with howling as a large white moon appeared in front of Kiba. Kiba grinned as he stepped back, staring at his wand with interest. Shikamaru was shoved foward, but he nearly fell over since he was half-asleep. "Troublesome." Naruto grinned as he slowly snuck behind Temari.

Shikamaru waited as Ollivander examined him from head to foot. "Hmm, this should be easier then I thought. Eight inches, cherry wood, horn of a stag for the core. The laziest stag I've ever seen too." Laughter filled the room as Shikamaru gave his wand a lazy flick, large fluffly clouds began to float around the room causing people to laugh even harder. It seemed that the wands fit their personalities in one way or another.

Temari glared daggers at Naruto as he pushed her foward. She stuck out her arm as she tapped her foot impatiently. Ollivander looked at her for a moment then ducked behind a shelf, coming back with a wand in hand. "Same tree as the red-head and the kid with face paint, eleven and a quarter inch, claw of a wind weasel for the core." Temari looked at the wand and then gave it a gently wave like it was a fan. A silver stream of wind wrapped around her, gently ruffling her hair and clothes like they had been caught in a soft breeze.

Hinata stumbled foward as Temari stepped back. "Ah, are you related to..." "Neji's my cousin." Ollivander nodded and produced a wand. "This wand is a cousin to your cousin's wand. Wood from the Tree of Change, twelve inches, the feather of a pheonix for the core. The feather came from the cousin of the feather in Neji's wand. Go ahead give it a wave." Hinata hesitated for a moment before she gave her wand a cautious wave. Glistening water droplets surround her before disappearing with a flutelike note.

Everyone clapped. It had been really beautiful. Ino was shoved foward next, by now everyone knew it was the blonde boy who was doing it, but they didn't have the heart to tell him to stop since he seemed to be having so much fun.

"Ah, here we go. Ten and a quarter inches, oak wood, feather and hair of a flower loving hippogriff. Had absolutely gorgeous blond hair and feathers. Give it a wave." Ino smiled and gave the wand a short wave, her smile growing as the scent of flowers filled the air, shimmering bubbles adding to the fragance whenever they popped. "Only three left, who's next?"

Naruto pushed Tenten foward and then skipped over to stand next to Sakura. "Ah, let's see. Thirteen and a half inches, wood from a rather ancient willow, fang and heartstring of a two-headed Norwegian Ridgeback." Tenten flicked her wand and stifled a small gasp of delight as twin dragons of shimmering red and blue snaked their way around her, not quite touching her. Everyone was disappointed when they disappeared.

Naruto grinned as he pushed Sakura foward. "Your turn Sakura-chan." "Sakura is it. Such a lovely name. Here you go. Twelve and a quarter inches, wood from a thousand year old Sakura tree, with a Sakura blossom and the feather of a pheonix that lived in that tree." Sakura waved her wand and gave a gasp of delight when thousands of pink Sakura petals swirled around her.

Smirking, Sasuke and Gaara snuck up behind the blonde and gave him a push foward. Naruto stumbled than turned around to pout at them. "Ah, I remember you. You wandered into my shop when you were six years old, didn't you?" Naruto turned to grin at Ollivander. "Hai. I was hiding from the old man. He found me when I went to eat some ice cream. I'll make this easy for you. Do you have something that's nine inches long with wood from a fox tree?"

Ollivander gave Naruto a solemn look. "Yes, and it's the only wand I have made with fox wood. Are you sure it'll be a match for you?" Naruto nodded happily as Ollivander handed him a redish wand. Naruto had barely even touched it when red flames shot out of the end and wrapped around him. "I told you so. What's the core?" Ollivander stared at the blonde boy in absolute awe. "A strand of fur from each tail of a nine-tailed fox demon."

Naruto's grin grew even wider as he handed the wand back to Ollivander. "Can you wrap it? I don't want to get in trouble just yet." Ollivander nodded, and wrapped the wand with trembling hands. **'Kit, you do know why you are a match for that wand don't you?' **'Yeah, it's cause you're sealed into me. Right Kyu-chan?' **'No, that isn't the reason. But I guess you'll find out soon enough on your own. Now, have you noticed how Gaara and Haku have been sneaking glances at each other when they think no one's looking?' **'Why do you think I asked for Haku for this mission?' Naruto heard Kyuubi bark with laughter. **'You planned on getting them together didn't you? I don't think you'll have much of a problem there. Just lock them in a closet and they'll be screwing like rabits. Now, what about the other three?' **'Not telling you.' Naruto had expected Kyuubi to argue, but she didn't. He heard her sigh and grumble in the back of his mind, but that was it.

They left the shop, their money bags still considerably full. "Hey, we didn't buy trunks did we?" Mrs. Weasely gave a small gasp. "Oh no. You defenitely need trunks. Let's buy those, then we can explore for the rest of the day. We can leave our things at the Leaky Cauldron until it's time to leave. But first, the trunks." Since sixteen trunks as well as all their other bags were more than they could carry, Naruto suggested putting everything in the trunks and sorting them out later.

So three of them, they stored their books, while in five they stored their robes, potion ingredients went into another four and the last four held everything else they had bought. They carried them into the Leaky Cauldron and Naruto paid for a room to keep them in. He slapped seals onto all of the trunks, the window and the door before they left. He wasn't going to risk someone stealing their stuff.

Naruto was fascinated with Qudditch much to Ron and Harry's delight. Naruto was tempted to buy a broom, but decided not to. He was more interested in buying a pair of bludgers but Gaara had stared him out of that idea. Naruto followed Hermione and had her help in choosing out several books. He was fascinated by several of them and the two of them bought a good fifty books together much to the shop owner's delight. Naruto carried the two heavy bags with ease, smiling as he thought about all the things they would be learning in the next month.

"Come on dears, it's time to go back." Naruto sighed, but followed everyone back to the Leaky Cauldron. Dumbledore greeted them with a smile when they came back. "Now, are you ready for your first lesson in magic?" Naruto had started bouncing off the walls at these words. It took both of Sasuke's and Gaara's death glares to quiet the blonde down long enough for the old wizard to explain everything that they would be doing in the next month.

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A/N: That was long. I think most of my chapters will be on the longer side now. This will definietly be a very long story if I continue it. Please review, if I don't get any reviews I'll think that my story is so crappy that I shouldn't continue updating it. Also tell me if I mispell things. I usually proof read it two or three times but I don't always catch the mistakes and neither does spell check. 


	6. Closets, Trains, and Candy

Summary: Naruto has a nightmare and wakes everyone up. While he is blowing up the kitchen making breakfast, he also makes a huge amount of cookies that everyone is addicted to, including Tsunade. They have a run in with Malfoy at the robe shop and they end the day buying wands. Now, what kind of trouble will Naruto get into now that he has a wand? (evil laughter)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jaraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x ?, Malfoy x ?, Anko x ?, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. **Please continue with them, and I'll try my best to update every day, but like I've said before, teachers are sadistic demons that give too much homework. The weekends will probably be when I do the most updating. Thanks for all the support, it makes me really happy. If I've spelt anything wrong or got the names wrong, please tell me. If you want to see a prank pulled by Naruto and the twins, leave it in a review and I'll see if I can pull it off. Who in their sane mind wouldn't put the pranksters together? (more evil laughter)

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Six: Closets, Trains, and Candy**

The month passed quickly, with a lot happening. Naruto had learned everything in the first week and a half. Sasuke, Neji, and Hinata had been forbidden the use of their bloodline limits and the two boys had reluctantly agreed. Hinata had no problem with it since it would only make them stand out when they wanted to blend in. All of them had learned everything they needed to know by the third week, much to their teachers' amazement and delight. The last week was rather uneventful until the night before they would leave for school.

The group had been packing when an ear-shattering scream echoed through the house. Sasuke and Gaara had rushed to find Naruto curled in a ball on the floor shaking, a dementor standing above him. Lupin rushed into the room, seeing the dementor he sent a Patronus to force it away from Naruto. It turned into a silver orb and Sasuke immediately shut it into the small wooden box it had come out of. Gaara pulled Naruto into his lap, trying to calm the boy down but Naruto had begun to whimper and cry as he shook even harder. Sasuke pulled Naruto into his lap and began to stoke his blonde spikes, quietly whispering in his ear every soothing thing he could think of. Gaara took hold of the blonde's hand and gripped it tightly, using his other hand to rub his back.

Slowly, Naruto stopped shaking but he still cried and whimpered. Fifteen minutes later, his breathing evened out as he fell asleep. Both Sasuke and Gaara heaved a sigh of relief when Naruto fell asleep. The blonde was still curled in a ball but he was now hugging Sasuke, his face buried in his chest. Gaara bent and kissed Naruto lightly on the cheek before he stood up. "Uchiha, I'll give you one warning. You break his heart, I'll kill you." Gaara left the room, searching for Haku.

After their second week there, Naruto had locked the two boys in a closet, refusing to let them out until they admitted they had feelings for each other. The two had ended up making out and things would have gone further if Naruto hadn't unlocked the door and dashed in pulling the door closed behind him. He didn't seem to notice the two blushing boys in the dark, but he did notice Gaara's rather painful erection when he sat in his lap. Naruto had nearly choked on his laughter. He gave the two boys a kiss on the cheek before he stretched out and fell asleep in their laps. They still didn't know why he had burst into the closet.

Sasuke had to stifle his anger when Gaara had kissed Naruto on the cheek. He knew now that Gaara saw Naruto as a brother, but that still didn't stop him from being jealous. He grinned when he remembered how he had found the three boys shut up in a closet. Naruto was asleep on their laps and they were blushing a red that rivaled Gaara's hair. Sasuke's first thought was to give them a very painful death, but then Naruto woke up grinning like a cat. "Two down, three to go."

Gaara immediately stood up and stalked out of the closet, his face still a bright red. Haku was trying to contain his laughter at the look of absolute shock on Sasuke's face. Sasuke had started to laugh when Naruto pouted. When the others found out, all of them had worn identical looks of shock on their faces, Shino and Kankurou had looks of absolute horror. Kiba had laughed so hard he nearly choked on his own saliva. This had caused Naruto to pout and Sasuke had to look away as a faint blush spread across his cheeks. Kiba had gone red in the face and started to stutter apologies to the blonde. No one could refuse the blonde when he used his eyes. Sasuke had a hard time keeping himself from jumping the boy when he pouted.

Sighing, Sasuke stood up and carried the blonde into their room, gently placing him on the bed. Naruto rolled over and grabbed a pillow, curling his body around it. Sasuke bent over and placed a gentle kiss on his secret love's forehead. Standing up, he left the room to finish packing.

---Time Skip---Next Morning---

Tsunade had managed to talk Fudge into providing a Ministry car that would take Naruto to Kings Cross. Of course, it was a magically modified car that allowed all twenty-two kids, Mrs. Weasely, Tonks, and Lupin to sit comfortably in. To save time with carrying trunks, Naruto had stored them in a scroll, explaining to the wizards that it worked much like a magical trunk that allowed you to store more things then it should hold. It also was made more believable when he used his wand to store the trunks.

Out of all of them, Naruto was the only one that excelled at all subjects. Gaara, Sasuke, and Temari were great at curses and jinxes. Kankurou, Hinata, Sakura, Chouji, and Shino were good at both Potions and Herbology. Lee was excellent with Care of Magical Creatures, as was Kiba. Shikamaru was excellent at History of Magic. Tenten, Haku, and Neji were good at charms. All of them were terrific at Transfiguration and DADA since they were used to transforming and defending against all types of attacks. Dumbledore had been overjoyed at the speed they learned. They could sleep through all their classes and still pass.

They had arrived a little early, giving them plenty of time to grab the last four compartments at the very back of the train. Ron and Hermione had to go to the prefect compartments. Naruto had opened the scroll and sorted their trunks out. He refused to let Ron and Hermione carry their trunks and did it for them, causing many a person to stop and stare as he carried them with ease to the very front of the train. Naruto had stored them and spent nearly half an hour helping other students to store their trunks as he made his way back to the end of the train.

Naruto slid into the compartment that Harry was sitting in and found a boy and girl struggling to lift their trunks into the overhead racks. Without saying a word, he took their trunks and stored them safely overhead. Naruto grinned at them sheepishly as they stared at him in amazement. Just then, the twins burst in breathing hard. "Naruto, you have to help us. They made Malfoy a prefect and we just pranked him. He knows it's us, but he doesn't have proof so him and his lackey's are bullying first years." Naruto's eyes flashed with anger at the mention of bullying. It was as if an inferno had wrapped itself around the blonde.

Fred and George took a step back. "Where is he?" Fred spoke, George was too terrified to utter a word. "The fourth car from the front, in the third compartment on the left." Naruto flashed them a smile so evil, it nearly petrified the brothers. Naruto stormed down the hallways, emitting an aura so dark that students moved out of his way in waves. Naruto yanked the compartment door open in time to see Malfoy smirk at a crying first year girl, her companions had looks of terror plastered on their faces.

"Why, if it isn't Malfoy. Who stuck a stick up your ass that gave you the sudden urge to traumatize first years?" Malfoy whirled to face the blonde, his face slightly paleing as he remembered their last encounter. "I wouldn't be so cocky blondie. I'm sure you don't want to get a detention on the very first day of school." Naruto's grin grew even wider as Crabbe and Goyle loomed behind Malfoy, trying to look intimidating. To Naruto, they looked as frightening as a newborn kitten.

Glancing around the compartment, he saw that the first years' trunks had been pulled down. Glaring at Malfoy, Naruto grabbed a trunk and put it back, only using one hand. The other five trunks soon followed. Turning to the awestruck first years, Naruto flashed them one of his brightest smiles. "I'm sorry that you had to meet this bastard on your first day. We'll leave now so you can enjoy your trip in peace. I'm sure you have much to talk about since it's your first year attending Hogwarts." Grabbing Malfoy's hand, he dragged him out of the compartment and down the hall, Crabbe and Goyle trailing behind them.

Malfoy tried to yank his hand away, but Naruto's grip was stronger then steel. Naruto stopped when they were in the next car, releasing his hold on Malfoy as he turned to stare at the boy. "If I ever catch you bullying anyone again, I'll let it slip to a certain someone with green eyes that you like them. Like them a little more then you let on." Malfoy paled at this. "Do you know who I am?" Naruto blinked and then stared at him with his slitted, scarlet eyes. He was careful to only let Malfoy see. "I wouldn't depend on your family's name since it can't fight your battles for you." Naruto turned on his heel and left a very stunned Malfoy behind.

The rest of the train ride passed with relative peace, and boredom on Naruto's part since Sasuke, Gaara, and Haku had locked him in the compartment after his little escapade. But they had allowed him to make a trip to the front of the train to see the witch that sold the candy. He had told her that he would pay for all the candy that all the students would buy. So this year, when she made her rounds, she told them to take as much as they wanted for free, as she was instructed to do by the blonde.

When she reached his compartment, he wiped out the very last of her supplies, giving her a slip of paper with written directions and his signature on the bottom. All she had to do was fill in the ammount that he owed her and take it to Gringotts to collect. If she had any problems, she just had to tell the goblin to contact him and he would sort everything out. She couldn't help but smile at the blonde's kindness. Hogwarts was going to be very different this year, and she was pretty certain that the blonde would be found at the very center of it.

Naruto was dancing with excitement as he waited to exit the train. He had already changed into his robes long ago and had annoyed his companions by dancing around until Sasuke finally got fed up and tied him up. Naruto could have escaped, but he decided to pout and see how long it would take for someone to untie him.

He only had to wait for two minutes before Gaara finally gave in to his 'hurt puppy look' and untied him. Naruto had then contented himself to sleeping in Gaara's lap for the rest of the trip, clutching him like a teddy bear. By now, everyone was used to seeing the blonde hugging Gaara, but the first week had many of them believing the world was coming to an end.

Sasuke had finally gotten over his jealousy during the train ride, when Naruto began to call Gaara Nii-san after asking permision from Kankurou and Temari. Temari had made it clear that she would be offended if he didn't think of her as a sister and this had caused Naruto to burst into tears and cry his heart out into her shoulder. Temari had simply held him, shocked that her words had such an impact of the blonde. Kankurou had also insisted for Naruto to think of him as an older brother or cousin. Naruto had cried for half an hour until he drifted off to sleep, still hugging Temari.

Only the Sand siblings had witnessed Naruto's breakdown, and they vowed as they watched the sleeping blonde, that they would do everything in their power to protect his heart and his happiness. Temari had slipped Naruto into Gaara's lap so she could slip away and quietly tell the others what had happened, leaving out no detail.

This had really opened their eyes to just how strong Naruto was. They had all grown up with a family, and they all had at least one family member alive. Naruto had grown up with no one, and he was only shown hate, and yet he still had such a big heart. He truly cared for them, and despite hiding behind a mask, he had been completely honest with them. He had only worn a mask to protect himself from being hurt, although it seemed that his mask was one that served to cover his pain.

Sasuke had felt his anger melt away when he heard what had happened, all of the girls had tears in their eyes and all of the boys looked solemn, even Lee. They also understood that Naruto would only think of the Sand siblings as family since he had such a close bond with Gaara. None of the fifteen shinobi were in the least bit jealous that he viewed three of them as family since they knew he viewed them as more than just friends.

They were his family, whether he saw them that way or not, it didn't change the way they felt towards the blonde. He had changed their lives and brought them such joy and happiness, they were all determined to do as much as they could for him in return.

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A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews. This chapter was shorter then the others, but it's kinda hard to break it down into chapters cause my story when I started out was originally just a really long one-shot. Plus it takes forever to type. But I'll update just for you guys. And continue to review, you have no clue how happy it makes me. 


	7. The Ninjas Have Arrived, Let the Chaos

Summary: It is finally time to go to Hogwarts and they have learned everything they needed to know. Naruto locked Gaara and Haku in a closet and they are now a couple. On the train, Naruto threatens Malfoy and pays for all the candy so the students were happy to have as much free candy as they wanted. What Houses will they be sorted into, and who are the new teachers?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x ?, Malfoy x ?, Anko x ?, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. **Please continue with them, and I'll try my best to update every day, but like I've said before, teachers are sadistic demons that give too much homework. The weekends will probably be when I do the most updating. Thanks for all the support, it makes me really happy. If I've spelt anything wrong or got the names wrong, please tell me. If you want to see a prank pulled by Naruto and the twins, leave it in a review and I'll see if I can pull it off. Who in their sane mind wouldn't put the pranksters together? (evil laughter) If you've read the description and are wondering when Naruto is turned into a six-year old, don't worry it's coming soon.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

**_'I am the Sorting Hat, do as I say.' --the Sorting Hat talking_**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Seven: The Ninjas Have Arrived, Let the Chaos Begin**

Naruto was the first one off the train, running straight for the lake. He was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned around and felt his heart leap with joy when he saw Iruka's smiling face. He immediately glomped onto his former teacher, refusing to let go as Gaara tried to pry him off so the Chuunin could breathe. "Hello Naruto. I need you and the others to help me gather the first years. Can you do that?"

Naruto nodded as he jumped up onto Sasuke's shoulders so he stood above the crowd. Taking a deep breath, he bellowed at the top of his lungs. "FIRST YEARS, OVER HERE. COME ON, ALL FIRST YEARS OVER HERE." Heads turned to stare at the blonde, his voice was so loud he could probably be heard at the castle. "All right, your turn Iruka-sensei."

Iruka smiled as Naruto jumped off of Sasuke and into Gaara's arms. "Gaara-nii, can you carry me? I'm sleepy." Iruka couldn't help but chuckle as the first years stared in shock. "Alright, stay close and follow me. I'm about to lead you to the castle." Iruka led them to the lake, telling them to sit in the boats.

Of course, Naruto being Naruto, had took his robes and shoes off, leaving him in a pair of baggy shorts and a black t-shirt. He then jumped into the lake and began to swim. Iruka had yelled at him for five minutes to get out of the water and into a boat but gave up when Naruto used his 'Puppy Eyes of Doom' on him. Naruto had swam across the lake, weaving through the boats to talk to the different students, his chatter relaxing many of them.

When they reached the other side, he shook himself to rid as much of the water as he could before he pulled his robes and shoes back on. Naruto smiled as he remembered the first time he saw Hogwarts. It was just as awe inspiring as he remembered. Iruka led them into a room and left them there to wait.

Naruto stood still for a total of two minutes before he started to bounce around. "Teme, I'm hungry. Do you have any candy?" Sasuke wanted to bash his head on the wall just so he could avoid seeing Naruto's puppy eyes. "Dobe, you ate most of the candy you bought. How can you be hungry after eating all of that?" Hearing this, a first year hesitantly asked the blonde boy a question. "You had to pay for your candy? All of ours was free."

Naruto grinned sheepishly, blushing as he rubbed the back of his head. "That's cause I paid for all of the candy that the witch gave away." Gasps were heard from the first years as some of them heard his answer. Naruto was immediately surround by a throng of them, all of them thanking him. Then the girl he had seen crying stepped forward and gave him a hug, whispering a small thank you before she ran back to her friends.

Professor McGonagall walked in saving him from further embarrassment. She had all the first years form a line and the Shinobi form another before she led them into the Great Hall. Whispers could be heard when the older students caught sight of the second line. The whispering died down as the Sorting Hat sang his song and the sorting began. When the last first year had been sorted into Ravenclaw, Dumbledore stood up and gave a speech.

"I would like to welcome sixteen transfer students to Hogwarts. Due to uncontrollable circumstances, they received their invitations late and are just now joining us. They will all be fifth year students and will be sorted now. To save time, they can choose the order they will be sorted in." Dumbledore had barely finished speaking when Naruto plucked the hat off the stool and placed it on Sasuke's head.

**_'Hmm. A ninja are you? I haven't seen one of your kind since I was first made. Now where to put you?'_ **'It would make it easier for us if you could sort us all into different houses. Pick the house that you think is best suited to our personalities.' Sasuke was shocked when the hat spoke to him, but he had quickly recovered himself. **_'Alright then. I'll put you in SLYTHERIN!'_ **The hat shouted the last part and was then whisked away and placed onto Gaara's head.

It had barely even touched his hair when it shouted. **_"SLYTHERIN"_ **Naruto grabbed the hat and dropped it onto Haku's head. Seeming to remember something he had glimpsed in Gaara's mind, the hat sorted him into Slytherin as well. Shino and Kankurou were also sorted into Slytherin. Neji became the first Ravenclaw and Lee and Chouji joined the Hufflepuffs.

Naruto had to hold Akamaru while the hat sorted Kiba into Gryffindor. Shikamaru joined Neji at the Ravenclaw table. Temari joined her brothers at the Slytherin table while Hinata went to Hufflepuff. Ino and Tenten both went to Ravenclaw and were joined by Sakura moments later. Finally, Naruto was the only one left. The hat barely touched his head when it let out a shrill and girly scream.

**'Shut up you stupid hat. It can't be your first time encountering a demon. You sorted Gaara without squealing like a little girl, so what's your problem?' _'I only needed a tiny glimpse in order to sort him. But this boy can easily join any and all of the houses.' _**'You do know that I'm right here. You don't have to talk about me like I'm not here. This is my mind after all. So, whats the problem? Can't pick a house for me? Then can you place me in Gryffindor? It will make it easier for us if there were at least two people in every house, and seeing as Kiba's the only Gryffindor I should join him.'

**_'If that is what you want. But you would do so well in all of the houses.' _**'Then talk to Dumbledore. But can you not tell him about Kyu-nee-chan. I kinda want to tell him myself.' **_'Don't worry, I won't tell him about anything that I have seen in your mind unless I have your permission. I'll only talk to him about what house I should place you in. For now, you will be in GRYFFINDOR!' _**'Thanks.' Naruto pulled the hat off and placed it on the stool, whispering into Professor McGonagall's ear the hat's message before he went to join Kiba, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the twins. Dumbledore stood up, preparing to make another speech.

But before he could say a word, Naruto stood up and yelled at the man that had just walked into the Great Hall. His face was covered by a mask and his left eye was covered by a bandana, only one eye was visible and a patch of silver-grey hair spiked up above it.

"Kakashi-sensei your late. Don't tell me, you got lost on the road of life while you were walking here and then you had to help an old lady cross the street, rescue someone's cat from a tree, and finally, you had to buy your precious dolphin a present for his birthday. Am I right?" Kakashi sweatdropped and nodded his head, causing Naruto to fall out of his seat as he laughed hysterically.

Standing up, he ran over to Kakashi and gave him a hug. Naruto walked up to the teacher's table and handed Iruka a little orange book. "I think you should hold onto this Iruka-sensei. You don't want the pervert corrupting your students, now do you?" Iruka gave Kakashi a dark look, promising much pain, as he took the book from Naruto. "I know just what to do with this. Naruto, sit back down so Dumbledore-san can give his speech. I'll talk to you later, after I deal with a certain scarecrow."

Naruto skipped back to his seat as Dumbledore cleared his throat and began to speak. "Without further ado, let the feast begin." Instantly, food appeared on the tables to the delight of the students. There were several foreign dishes in honor of the transfer students, and many were sampled with interest. Naruto didn't hesitate in pulling out his wand and transfiguring his silverware into chopsticks. He took a little of everything he could reach and began to eat, before coming up with the bright idea of having an eating contest with Kiba.

Soon, other students paused in their eating to watch the two devour plate after plate of food. Kiba had to admit defeat after his twelth serving. Naruto grinned and continued to eat, only at a slower pace. Soon, the food disappeared only to be replaced by deserts. Before anyone could start eating, Naruto had stood up and pointed a finger at Chouji. "Chouji, I challenge you. The first one to get a brain freeze loses." Chouji stood up and shouted right back at him. "I accept. Come over here so the contest can begin."

Soon, half the ice cream from the Hufflepuff table sat between the two boys as they stared across the table at each other. Without warning, they started to shovel ice cream into their mouths. They ate ice cream for the next thirty minutes without either of them showing signs of slowing down. Suddenly, Chouji dropped his spoon and clutched his head as he yelped in pain.

Naruto stood up and did a small victory dance before he too clutched his head in pain. "I win. Now, let's agree never to do that again. I think my head would explode if we did." Chouji nodded in agreement. "Agreed. I get to choose the course for the next contest. And the next time we have to wager something." Naruto mumbled his agreement before he stumbled back to the Gryffindor table, many of them staring at him in a mixture of awe and horror. After all, he did just eat at least twenty-five gallons of ice cream after his contest with Kiba.

Dumbledore stood up and introduced the teachers, one particulary ugly toad like witch talked about something, but many of the students tuned her out as they thought about going to bed. Finally, they were dismissed and allowed to go to bed.

Before leaving the Great Hall, Naruto had further shocked the student body by jumping into Gaara's arms. "Nii-san, did you drink your milk? You have to drink your milk if you want to continue your Taijutsu training. After all, strong bones are harder to break." Sasuke chuckled as Gaara glared at the blonde moodily. Temari grinned as she rescued her little brother, pulling Naruto out of Gaara's arms and into a hug.

"Don't worry squirt, I made sure he drank his milk. Now be a good little boy and go to bed. You don't want Iruka-sensei yelling at you for falling asleep in class. That's Shikamaru's job. Now, where is he? He owes me a kiss good-night." Naruto's face lit up with glee as he turned sparkling eyes on Sasuke, Kankurou, and Shino. "That's right, you three still don't have anyone to kiss you good-night. I guess I'll have to fix that problem. But what should I do?"

Before he could get an answer, the three boys had left the blonde to his thoughts as they ran from the room. Naruto's evil laughter followed them down the halls. Before he followed the other Gryffindors to their dormitory, Naruto had tackled Iruka to the floor in a massive bear hug. It took both Sakura and Temari to loosen his grip enough so the man could breathe.

Iruka sighed as he strared down at the blonde head that was buried in his chest. Gently, he stroked Naruto's back as he tried to comfort him. He could feel the boy relax when he didn't try to push him away. Large sweatdrops appeared on the heads of those who heard the blonde snoring softly. Sighing, Iruka picked him up and dropped him into Kakashi's arms.

"Go tuck him in. I need to find Sasuke, Gaara, and Haku. Temari, do you know where the Slytherin's common room is?" Temari nodded, smiling fondly at Naruto's older brother slash mother hen. The man had a similar quality as Naruto that just drew people to him. Kissing Shikamaru good night, Temari led the way to the Slytherin common room, slightly shocked when Iruka followed her in and went directly towards Gaara, Haku, and Sasuke who were sitting around the fire talking quietly.

The killer intent that was rolling off of him nearly rivaled Gaara's. Rhat in itself was terrifying, but the man it was coming from was even more petrifying. "I'll give you three a warning since you guys are the closest to his heart. Betray him and you will learn why I was an anbu captain and interrigator. If you think Ibiki is bad, I make him look like a four year old amateur. Sasuke, I will be especially cruel to you if you break his heart again. Now, go to bed. If I hear that any of you fall asleep in class I'll be sure to remind you why most students didn't fall asleep in my class. You can ask Naruto and Shikamaru what I mean. Good night, don't stay up too late." Iruka left a room of stunned Slytherins and three very confused boys.

Sasuke shuddered as he remembered the death glare that he had been shot. It beat the Uchiha Death Glare hands down. Glancing at Haku and Gaara, he noticed that they were both slightly paler. The mood was lightened when Temari burst into laughter.

"You guys are so screwed. I remember hearing stories about an interrigator that made Ibiki look like an incompetent fool. Gaara, you heard them too, same with Kankurou. To think that Iruka-sensei is the legendary Dolphin. It kinda makes sense though since his name means dolphin. Oh well, good night guys. And Shino, don't let the freaky bugs bite." Temari disappeared up the stairs, still laughing softly.

In the Great Hall, the girls gave Naruto a kiss good-night before they said good-night to thier boyfriends. Kakashi had whispered to them that he and Iruka would patrol for the night and that they would discuss a patrol scheduele tomorrow. Naruto had shifted slightly in his hold so he could hug him, bearing his face into his chest. Kakashi chuckled when Naruto began to mumble about evil old men with purple and pink hair. He had seen the third with pink hair and realized that it was Dumbledore who had had the purple hair.

Kakashi followed Harry and Kiba to the Gryffindor's common room, easily avoiding all the trick stairs on the way. Naruto woke up when they were still a floor below. Yawning, he gave Kakashi a hug before he jumped down out of his arms. "Thanks Kakashi-sensei. Now, why don't you find Iruka-sensei? I think he just scared a couple of Slytherins half out of their minds if that killer intent was his." Kakashi chuckled as he ruffled Naruto's blonde spikes.

"Don't worry. I'll go calm him down. Now, be good and go to sleep. You wouldn't want Iruka to catch you sneaking about at night." Naruto gave him a tired smile before he gave him one more cautious hug. Kakashi returned the embrace. He would kill anyone who hurt his student, especially after what he had been through. Grinning, Kakashi faded into the shadows and disappeared, shocking many of the passing students.

Smiling sleepily, Naruto followed Harry the rest of the way to the common room. But before they made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady, they ran into a crowd of first years and a very irritated Ron and Hermione. Peeves floated in front of the group, scaring many of the first years.

Kiba gave the polterigist a pitying look as Naruto stalked through the crowd. A feral grin spread across Naruto's face as his whisker marks grew darker and his eyes began to shimmer. Peeves didn't even flinch as he began to taunt Naruto. "What do we have here? I haven't seen you before. A new student, what fun." As Peeves began to laugh manically, Naruto had started to growl. He was tired, and when he was tired, he was very, very cranky. When he spoke, his voice was more a feral growl than actual human speech.

"Peeves, get out of my sight. Or do you want me to repeat the experience you had the last time you chose to pick on me?" Peeves stopped laughing as he stared at Naruto closely. By now, Naruto's eyes were flickering scarlet. Peeves let out a small shriek as he recognized the blonde before him. "I'm so sorry Naruto-sama. I'll get out of your way immediately." Peeves nearly tripped in mid-air in his haste to get out of Naruto's way. Kiba howled with laughter as he saw Peeves' terror filled face.

"Naruto, you've been here before?" Naruto nodded as he waited for Hermione and Ron to recover and lead the first years into the common room. "When I was six, I came with Dumbledore and the old man for a week. It was my first 'mission' after I became ANBU. All I really did was run around the castle pulling as many pranks as possible for most of the week. I also went to Diagon Alley once and I went to Hogsmeade two or three times. I had so much fun."

Harry looked at Naruto in awe. "What exactly did you do to Peeves?" Naruto turned to Harry before he gave him a huge grin. "I don't remember what I did, but I do remember pulling a prank on him. Man, I thought I was going to die laughing, it was so funny." A small smile still on his lips, Naruto gave both Ginny and Hermione a hug good night, before he disappeared upstairs into the boys dormitories.

Kiba chuckled when he saw the faint blushes on the girl's faces. "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but his heart's already taken. But don't worry, he'll definetly play matchmaker for you. Do you remember Iruka and Kakashi?" Kiba grinned when they nodded. "Well, those guys are a couple. And Naruto's the one that set them up. Out of the sixteen of us, he's gotten all but three a girlfriend or boyfriend. Sasuke, Shino, and Kankurou are the only single ones left besides Naruto and he has plans for the three of them." Hermione and Ginny couldn't help but giggle.

Kiba, Harry, and Ron bid the two girls good night, following Naruto's example and disappearing into the boys' dormitories.

Later that night, Kiba woke up to the sound of soft whimpering. He looked over and saw that it was Naruto. Sighing, he got up and went over to his friend, pulling him into a hug as he waited for the blonde's nightmare to pass. After about ten minutes of gently rocking him, Naruto stopped whimpering and fell into a peaceful sleep. Kiba waited another twenty minutes before he returned to his own bed. He asked Akamaru to stay with the blonde, hoping his presence would keep any other nightmares away.

Akamaru had curled up next to Naruto's side and fell asleep. Like Kiba, he felt sad when he heard Naruto whimper in his sleep. Akamaru had grown to the size of a large wolf, but Kiba had invented a food pill that would return Akamaru to his puppy size. He had made it, saying he missed carrying Akamaru around in his jacket. So now, Akamaru stayed in his puppy form unless they were engaged in a battle or training. He was quite happy with it, since it allowed him to go everywhere with Kiba. Happy, Akamaru fell into a deep sleep with dreams filled of dancing steaks.

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A/N: It would have been hard to have Akamaru in the story if he was really big, so I made it so he could stay in his puppy form. I might do a prank where Akamaru is returned to normal later on. Please review. And thank you all who do. 


	8. Food Fights and Potions

Summary: The gang was sorted and Iruka and Kakashi are teachers, for what classes I don't know yet so you can read and find out in a later chapter. This is how they were sorted. Slytherin: Sasuke, Gaara, Haku, Shino, Kankurou, and Temari. Ravenclaw: Neji, Shikamaru, Ino, Tenten, and Sakura. Hufflepuff: Lee, Chouji, and Hinata. Gryffindor: Kiba and Naruto. After being sorted, Iruka pays a visit to the Slytherin common room and scar some of them for life. At the same time, Naruto awes the Gryffindors by terrifying Peeves.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x ?, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Again, thanks to all who review, and please continue to. I'll probably explain the prank Naruto pulled on Peeves later, but for now, I'm plotting an especially good one that should hopefully get Malfoy together with Harry. Remember, if you want to see a prank done, then leave it in a review and I'll be more than happy to try and comply. I will of course give credit for said prank if I use it. The next chapter will probably be posted tomorrow since I'm changing it slightly. Please continue to show your support and enjoy. X3

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Eight: Food Fights and Potions**

Naruto woke up and found a drooling puppy next to him. Smiling, he gave Akamaru a scratch behind the ears before he picked the little white dog up and placed him next to Kiba. Stretching, Naruto got dressed in his robes and went down to the common room. In about five minutes, other Gryffindors would be waking up. Naruto quietly left, taking a long and winding route down to the Great Hall. He didn't hesitate to ask the paintings for help whenever he was lost.

About twenty minutes later, he entered the Great Hall. Seeing Sasuke sitting at the Slytherin table with his back turned to him, Naruto decided to sneak up and scare him. Naruto stood right behind him, a seductive smile on his face as he leaned forward and purred in his ear. "Good morning Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke flinched when heard a voice whisper in his ear. Grabbing his knife, he spun around and placed the edge against the person's throat. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Naruto grinning at him, his eyes sparkling with laughter. "Dobe. Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Sasuke withdrew his blade as Naruto chuckled his mirth. "Good morning to you too Sasuke-teme. Have you seen Gaara-nii? I want to say hi to him."

Sasuke smirked as he leaned forward to purr into Naruto's ear like he had done to him. "I think you won't be seeing him this morning. He left with Haku to go explore the castle." Sasuke's smirk grew even wider when he saw Naruto's faint blush. Sasuke seriously wanted to jump the blonde when he pouted and walked off to join Kiba at the Gryffindor table.

At that moment, Malfoy chose to speak to him. "You had best learn to tell that idiot to stay away if you know what's good for you." Sasuke was about to stab him with his knife when he heard the soft swish of sand. Turning around, he saw Gaara glaring at Malfoy with his sand swirling around him. The Great Hall grew deathly silent as the students watched the group. Haku was also glaring at Malfoy, the air around him dropping several degrees.

Before anything could happen though, Naruto let out a high-pitched scream when someone knocked a goblet of pumpkin juice into his lap. Sasuke turned and saw Naruto pick up a plate of scrambled eggs and throw it at Fred and George, who were clutching their sides in laughter. As the eggs left the plate and flew at the twins, Naruto bellowed at the top of his lungs. "THIS IS WAR. FOOD FIGHT!"

The eggs hit the boys square in the face. Unfortunately, some of the eggs hit Neji in the back of his head as he walked by. He slowly turned around and glared at Naruto who was inching behind Kiba. Neji picked up a pitcher of milk and flung its contents at Naruto, only to have it hit Kiba and Ron. Soon all of the students were throwing food.

Sasuke turned to grin at Gaara and Haku, they grinned right back as they armed themselves with dishes of food, grabbing the messiest things they could find. Sure, they were forbidden from using any jutsus, but they weren't banned from using their throwing skills.

Within a minute, Malfoy's entire face and hair were drenched in jam, syrup, honey, and a good three pounds of sugar as well as some pumpkin juice that was thrown on top. The teachers tried to stop the mess but soon became involved themselves when they were targeted.

The fight finally stopped when a very tired Iruka had hot coffee spilled onto his lap. Seeing the coffee spill, Naruto immediately fled the Great Hall, seconds before the doors flew shut with a loud and echoing bang.

"NONE OF YOU WILL LEAVE UNTIL EVERY SPECK OF FOOD HAS BEEN CLEANED UP. MAGIC IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN, SINCE YOU MADE THIS MESS BY HAND, YOU'LL CLEAN IT BY HAND. NOW START CLEANING." Waving his wand, hundreds of buckets, mops, rags, and brooms appeared amongst the startled students.

Remembering what Temari had said last night, Sasuke, Gaara, and Haku began to clean without a complaint, smirking slightly as they looked at Malfoy. It was definitley worth it. Malfoy ended up with a detention with Iruka when he protested, saying that it was Muggle work. Malfoy would have seen worse if Iruka hadn't caught Kakashi giggling in a corner as he read his Icha Icha Paradise book.

Sasuke sighed when he realized that Naruto had snuck out of the hall. The blonde had a sixth sense for avoiding trouble, one that Sasuke wished he could develop if the way Malfoy was glaring at him was any indication that he would regret doing what he did.

----Time Skip----Thirty minutes later----After the Great Hall was cleaned----

Naruto bounced around the green house, chattering excitely as he examined all of the different plants. Professor Sprout had started the lesson, and Naruto had finished his task within ten minutes, much to her delight since she spent the rest of the lesson talking with Naruto while Hinata, Chouji, and Neville helped the other students. When Hermione had finished, she joined Naruto as Professor Sprout showed him a unique flower that never looked the same when it bloomed.

Herbology had never been so fun, according to many of the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. By now, the Hufflepuffs had learned that Hinata was not blind and that her eye color was a trait unique to her family. This of course led to questions about Neji, and if he was dating anyone. The girls, and a few boys, were sad to learn that Neji was dating Tenten, and that only four of the sixteen transfer students were single.

Before Herbology ended, Naruto had managed to get two Hufflepuffs to confess their love for each other, and they had ended up saying the only reason they didn't do it on their own was because they were too shy and thought that the other didn't even know they existed. Naruto and Kiba gave the Hufflepuffs a cheerful good bye, Akamaru leaving with Hinata. He had grown quite fond of Hinata, making Kiba slightly jealous that he could spend the day with her while he couldn't.

Of course, Naruto teased Kiba about it all the way to their Dinviation class. Naruto had nearly passed out laughing when he saw Professor Trelwany. Harry shook his head when he saw her turn tear filled eyes onto Naruto as she was about to predict his horrible death. "My dear child, the Grim stalks your shadow. Drawing ever closer with each passing moment." Parvati and Lavender choked back sobs as they looked at Naruto with pitying eyes. Kiba began to bark with laughter, holding his sides as he howled.

"What, my dear, is so funny about death?" Naruto spoke before Kiba could. "Professor, the Grim has stalked my shadow since the moment I was born. He has yet to kill me. You, however, seem to take pleasure in predicting the deaths of your students. I've seen death, as has Kiba, so don't tell us about your fake predictions of our deaths. It is you, who is making a mockery of those who've passed by predicting false deaths and instilling fear into your students. Death is inevitable, and fearing it only makes it worse when it comes to claim your life."

Naruto stared her in the eye, his eyes black and dead, causing her to shudder and turn her back on him. Kiba had stopped laughing and nodded grimly in agreement with Naruto. Harry and Ron stared at the two boys in silent awe. Naruto had managed to enchant the class with his speech. He ruined the moment when he grinned and nudged Kiba in the side.

"Neji should have took this class instead of me. He's the one that talks about Fate." Kiba actually fell out of his seat as he howled with laughter. "You've got to be kidding me. Didn't you beat that nonsense out of his head when you beat the crap out of him and won your match? I mean, he actually stopped being a prick and started being nice to Hinata-chan." Naruto nodded and giggled. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be funny to see him preach my speech about Fate?"

Kiba started to choke at just the thought. "Now that would be worth seeing. Hey, what class do we have after this?" Checking their schedueles, Harry answered. "Transfiguration and then double Potions with Slytherin. Great, we're stuck in the dungeons with Snape and Slytherin." Naruto sighed, having caught a glimpse of the hatred between the two houses at breakfast, he knew that Potions would be far from pleasant.

The rest of Dinviation passed without much of anything happening. Apparently, Naruto's evil vibes had clouded her inner eye and she would be doing them more harm if she tried to teach them in that state. They ended up spending the rest of class doing their Herbology homework.

Professor McGonagall was slightly surprised when the class stayed rather silent. "Alright, who's suppose to die this year?" Naruto gave a mirthless laugh before he answered. "I have the Grim stalking me. Stupid old bat speaks of death when she's never seen it herself. I wonder what she would say if I told her I've died twice already. Man, that would freak her out for sure." Kiba choked, before he stared at Naruto. "I know you nearly died more than a few times, but you actually died?" Naruto grinned. "Yeah, when I was with Baa-chan, I was actually considered dead for about thirty seconds cause my heart stopped beating. That was the first time. But, it could have been worse. I could have actually died. Hey, Professor McGonagall, can you really turn into a cat?"

Professor McGonagall stared at him for a moment before she nodded. She turned into a cat for a moment before changing back. This seemed to lighten the mood considerably. Naruto actually bounced around in his chair. "I can do something like that. Except, I don't turn into a cat, I turn into a fox. Want to see?" Now this had the classes attention. Professor McGonagall nodded, and in the blink of an eye, Naruto disappeared.

In his place, sat a beautiful white fox with wide blue eyes and four tails. He grinned at the class before jumping off his stool to walk around, swishing his tails back and forth. Kiba smirked, a plan forming in his mind. "Hey, Naruto. I wonder what Sasuke would say if he saw you?" Naruto's eyes flew wide open in horror. He stared at Kiba, panicking. What would Sasuke say?

Seeming to sense his fear, Kiba relented in his teasing. "Wouldn't he be pissed cause you could do something he can't? You can finally one up him." Naruto relaxed and yipped at Kiba playfully. He changed back and grinned at Professor McGonagall. "I can actually change into nine different foxes, but that one is my favorite. Only one of them is actually useful for sneaking around cause all of the others are flashy." Hermione's hand shot straight up. "Professor McGonagall, is it possible to be able to change into more than one animal?"

Naruto turned to stare at Hermione with a thoughtful look on his face. "I actually was only able to change into one originally. I taught myself how to change into the others. I don't think anyone else could do it the way I did cause I nearly killed myself in the process. I actually fell off a cliff when I was perfecting the fox I just showed you. Man, I really need to stay far away from those things." Kiba chuckled. "Only you would fall off a cliff and then live to complain about it. Why were you even near a cliff when you trying something new? Even I wouldn't try to perfect a technique where I could put myself in danger."

Naruto nodded in agreement. "I was only six, so what do you expect? I didn't know there was a cliff on the other side of those bushes. And the only reason I fell off in the first place was because I tripped. I wasn't used to walking on four legs." Kiba chuckled and ruffled Naruto's spikes. "Come on, didn't you crawl as a baby? It couldn't have been that hard after you got used to it. Hey, do you think you can teach me how to turn into a dog? That would be so cool." Naruto chuckled before he suddenly came up with an idea.

"I don't know how to turn into a dog, so I can't teach you. But I just came up with a really cool idea. Do you remember how you made that food pill for Akamaru. The concepts similar, but you'll probably need Hinata-chan's since it involves potions. Hey, Professor McGonagall, can we do this as a project? Like, create different ways of turning into an animal without using a wand, even if you're not an Animigus. We can do it in groups and with students from other Houses. It would be really cool since we actually have to really understand Transfiguration."

Professor McGonagall smiled, liking the idea. "I think that it's a good idea. However, if you want to do this project, then you have to help me come up with projects for all my other classes with a similar idea." Naruto clapped his hands as he jumped up in glee. "Cool. Then, how about next class we assign groups and I'll have complete project outlines for all year levels. I'll also come up with some safety rules. Do you mind if I help out all the groups? I have a bunch of different ideas that I want to try." Professor McGonagall couldn't help but laugh at the blonde's enthusiasm.

"Naruto, why don't you do the project outlines first. I'll read them next class, so put down anything you might want to do and I'll either approve it or not. Do we have a deal?" Naruto nodded happily before pulling out a roll of parchment and scribbling madly on it for the rest of class. Everyone talked about the project. It sounded really fun, and if they did it correctly, they would be able to turn into an animal.

Hermione was already going through her notes and making more as she started to jot down ideas. Harry, Ron, Neville, and Kiba began to discuss what animal they would want to turn into and why. Soon, class was over and it was time for lunch.

Naruto ran into the Great Hall, crashing into Malfoy, causing both of them to fall in a giant heap. Naruto had placed himself under Malfoy out of reflex, having developed the habit whenever he crashed into someone. It usually was his fault so he tried to break thier fall. Unfortunately for him, he had landed on his wrist at an awkward angle and ended up snapping it. Biting back a whimper, Naruto carefully extracted himself, offering Malfoy a hand up when he was free and standing.

Malfoy just glared at him before slapping his hand away and standing up by himself. "Watch where you're going next time." Malfoy stalked away with Crabbe and Goyle right on his heels. Naruto shrugged and took a step towards his table but ended up falling as his knee gave out from under him. He braced himself to hit the floor, but a pair of hands caught him before he could. "Dobe. Do you need help to the hospital wing?" Naruto shook his head.

"No, can you take me to Hinata-chan and Sakura-chan? I broke my wrist and I think I hit a nerve in my leg since I can't feel it. I'll have Sakura wrap my wrist and go to the hospital wing later." Sasuke shook his head and threw Naruto over his shoulder, carrying him over to where Hinata and Sakura were talking at the Ravenclaw table. "Sakura, the dobe broke his wrist and wants you to wrap it. He says he'll go to the hospital wing later." "Sasuke-teme I can talk by myself. Sakura-chan, can you wrap my wrist. I really don't want to go to the hospital wing if I can help it. And Hinata-chan, can you look at my left leg, I think I hit a nerve or pressure point cause I can't feel it anymore."

Sakura sighed as she pulled out her medic kit from her bag. "Sasuke, set him on the bench so Hinata can look at his leg while I deal with his wrist. You better tell Iruka too, because if he doesn't know when Naruto's injured immediately after it happens he can be really annoying. Also get Haku, because if it's a pressure point, he'll know what to do." As Sasuke turned to leave, Iruka came rushing over. Naruto actually yelped when he saw his former teacher.

Iruka broke into a dead sprint, mistaking Naruto's yelp as a cry of pain. "Kakashi-sensei, save me!" Iruka was hit from behind by Kakashi just as he was about to reach Naruto. Naruto was about to stand up and hobble away but Hinata wouldn't let him. "Kakashi get off of me. Naruto's hurt." Kakashi refused to move from his seat on Iruka's back and proceeded to annoy the shorter man by pulling out his little orange book and reading it. "Iruka-sensei, the last time I got hurt, it took Baa-chan nearly an hour to get you out of the room so she could heal me. I'm not that hurt any way. I only broke my wrist and I hit a pressure point in my leg. Ah, Hinata-chan, that tickles." Hinata only smiled as she continued to press different spots in his leg.

"I think you should have Haku or Neji-nii-san look at it. It doesn't appear to be any of the nerves or pressure points that I've learned." Naruto sighed, then smiled as Sakura finished wrapping his wrist. 'Kyu-nee-chan, can you heal my wrist? I really don't want to go to the hospital wing.' '**Kit, of course I'll heal your wrist. I know how much you hate hospitals. Now, I can't do anything for your leg since it's a pressure point, but Haku should be able to fix it. Does he still have his acupuncture needles?' **'Yeah, he always carries a couple. Does he have to poke me to fix my leg?' Kyuubi's evil laughter was all the answer he needed.

"Kakashi-sensei, you can get off of Iruka-sensei now. You can torment him in private later, but you'll need to be able to move to do that." Kakashi sweatdropped as he looked at the dark cloud that had appeared beneath him. Waving, Kakashi stood up and ran from the hall, Iruka right behind him. Naruto smiled fondly before he yelped when he felt something pierce his leg.

Just as fast as the pain appeared, it vanished. Naruto pouted, turning his large watering eyes on Haku as he sniffed. "Haku, that hurt." "But you can move your leg now. You better get something to eat, lunch is almost over." Naruto grabbed a sandwich and took off for the Gryffindor tower. Sasuke shook his head as he went to get something to eat from the Slytherin table.

Naruto was perched at a table with Neville, staring at their cauldron as it burped a pale pink gas. "Wow, you really suck at this, don't you?" Neville hung his head in shame, but Naruto patted him on the back and gave him a reassuring smile. "We'll start over, we have just enough time to get it done. Now, watch what I do carefully. But don't try to chop this up like I do." Naruto proceeded to slice their potion ingredients at an alarming speed, his fingers a blur. Within five minutes he had finished preparing all of their ingredients.

"Okay, you did the first ten steps right. But instead of reducing the heat and adding the beetles, you skipped to the next step. Are you any good at cooking?" "I'm okay, but I'm no where near as good as my aunt." "Then, think of potions as cooking. Your recipe will turn out bad if you skip a step or mess up the temperature or time. Sometimes, you can save it, but other times, you'll need to start all over. This potion can be saved, but it will take longer to fix it then it would take to make another one. If we have some free time, I'll show you how you would fix it. Now, what do you do after this?"

Before Neville could answer, Snape swooped down onto their table. "What do you think you two are doing?" Naruto didn't even bother to look up from his cauldron. "We messed up our potion so we're making a new one since it would take longer and several unique ingredients in order to fix the other. Neville, can you hand me that cup of blue powder?" Neville's hand was shaking so much, he nearly spilled the entire thing into their potion as he handed it to Naruto. "Professor Snape, can you take a step back. If I made this correctly, it should catch fire. Neville, you should move back too."

Neville did as he was asked, but Snape stayed where he was. "Uzumaki, what are you talking about? The potion I am having you make shouldn't do that." "Oh, I already finished that. I'm starting the first few steps to fixing our first one." Snape glared at Naruto before he swept down the aisles to praise Kankurou and Shino on their potion. Just as Naruto dropped the blue powder into his cauldron, Malfoy shot a spell at it hitting both Naruto and the cauldron.

The potion spilt all over Naruto, causing him to burst into flames. Gaara's sand immediately envoloped the blonde, killing the flames. But when his sand withdrew, only a large pile of black robes could be seen. Sasuke rushed over to the robes, stopping in midstep when a small blonde head popped out.

The class stared in shock as they looked into the wide frightened eyes of a six year old Naruto.

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A/N: I know, it's a cliffy, but I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's so fun to end them this way. The next chapter will be up tomorrow if I don't do it tonight. And the plot will thicken when a new character appears. Bet you can't guess who. Please review and I will try my best to update the next chapter as soon as possible. A warning to all those that are reading this story. I may be forced to update only one chapter a night during the school week since I have to do my homework. If I blow off my homework then my parents will ban me from my computer. So please be patient if I don't update as fast as I did this weekend. _School is evil, so very evil. And homework is cruel and sadistic torture and punishment_. (Insert anime tears here.) 


	9. Surprises, Reunions, and Rumors

Summary: Naruto starts a food fight in the morning, allowing Gaara, Haku, and Sasuke to have a little bit of fun with Malfoy. Naruto chats with Sprout, annoys Trelwany, and plans a project for McGonagall. Things take a surprising twist when Malfoy shoots spell at Naruto, causing his potion to spill all over him and turn him into... _a six-year old!?! _What will happen next? And who will be making a surprise appearance?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Again, thanks to all who review, and please continue to. I'll probably explain the prank Naruto pulled on Peeves later, but for now, I'm plotting an especially good one that should hopefully get Malfoy together with Harry. Remember, if you want to see a prank done, then leave it in a review and I'll be more than happy to try and comply. I will of course give credit for said prank if I use it. This chapter is on the short side and not as good as I would have liked it, but it is better then what it first was. Due to evil homework I will be more than likely limited to updating only a chapter a day, but on weekends I'll upload as much as insanely possible. Please continue to show your support and enjoy. X3

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Nine: Surprises, Reunions, and Rumors**

Naruto stared around the classroom. Everyone was staring at him, scaring him even more. Naruto pushed himself under a desk and curled up into as small a ball as he could. 'Kyu-nee-chan, where am I? Who are all these people?' **'Kit, calm down. They won't hurt you. Do you recognize any of them?' **Naruto cautiously looked out at the class of students.

When his eyes fell on Gaara, he lost a little of his fear. 'I know Gaara-nii, but why am I so small?' Before Kyuubi could answer, Gaara had stooped down to look at him. "Naruto, why are you hiding?" Naruto flung himself into Gaara's arms as he began to cry. "Gaara-nii, why is everyone staring at me? How did I get here?"

Gaara softly cradled Naruto to his chest as he tried to calm him. Soon, Naruto fell asleep, exhausted after crying. This couldn't be good. "Professor, can you bring the Headmaster here immediately? Sasuke, I need you to get Kakashi and Iruka as well as Hinata, Neji, Sakura, and Ino. Whatever happened to Naruto, it seems to have messed with his memories." Sasuke left the room, Snape right on his heels.

"Temari, I need you to summon your weasel and contact the Hokage. If he recognizes me, he might recognize her. Have her bring his bear as well." The class stared in shock when a weasel appeared. Temari wrote something in a scroll, handing it to her weasel before it disappeared.

"Gaara, we should probably shrink his robes so he isn't naked." Gaara smiled as Haku pulled out his wand and gave it a wave, Naruto's robes shrunk until they fit his tiny frame.

"Kankurou, collect what's left of the spilled potion. We'll need to analyze it if we're going to reverse whatever happened to Naruto. Shino, help the other students to store their potions." The class had just finished storing their potions when Tsunade appeared in a cloud of smoke, a small and worn bear clutched in her arms. Her eyes flew open when she saw Naruto.

"Here's his bear. Where's the potion that did this?" "Right here Tsunade-sama. I also have a list of ingredients that were used. Naruto wasn't only covered in this, he was also hit by a spell." The class was alive with noise as the students began to whisper amongst themselves. Hermione was staring at the blonde in disbelief. "How did she apparate into Hogwarts?"

The noise woke Naruto up, and Gaara glared as he felt the small boy shake in his arms. Naruto saw his bear and clutched it close to his chest as he looked around fearfully. When his eyes fell on Tsunade, he relaxed a little. "Baa-chan, you gave me back my bear." Tsunade turned to stare into wide, innocent, blue eyes. She couldn't help but smile, Naruto looked so cute.

"Gaara, hand him over." Gaara was reluctant to relinquish his hold on the blonde, but Naruto practically leapt into Tsunade's arms. "Where am I? Why are you here? How did I get here?" Before Tsunade could speak, Iruka rushed into the room. Naruto shrank back into Tsunade's arms as he stared at the new person, vaguely remembering who he was. "Naruto? Tsunade-same what happened to him?" Kakashi entered the room, lifting his bandanna off his eye so he could look at Naruto with his Sharingan.

Seeing the blood red eye, Naruto let out a scream and buried his face into Tsunade's chest as he started to hyperventilate. "Kakashi, cover your eye. Iruka, stay back. I don't know what happened, but it looks like Naruto's lost most of his memories. So far, he only recognizes me and Gaara." Naruto choked back a sob as his body was wracked with pain. He remembered seeing eyes exactly like that when he had been raped and tortured. He could feel a knife piercing his skin.

'**Kit, calm down. Focus on your breathing. In and out. Come on, breathe with me. In and out. In and out. Good. He won't hurt you, so you can relax. You know him, you just don't remember him. Now, breathe. I'll need to talk to Tsunade later, but for now, breathe. Good Kit. Don't worry, I won't let anyone near you that'll hurt you so relax and breathe.' **Naruto nodded and began to slow his breathing, his fear and pain leaving him as he took deep, calming breaths. He was soothed further when Tsunade stroked his back with a gentle hand, whispering soothing words into his ear.

As his mind calmed down, he began to remember bits and pieces of Iruka. He remembered being treated to ramen and being chased around the village after pulling a prank. His head started to ache when he tried to remember more. Naruto decided to stop thinking and wait for his memories to return on their own. Kyuubi would tell him things he needed to know, so he could relax for the moment. He slipped into a state of half-awareness as Tsunade continued to stroke his back.

Shortly after Iruka and Kakashi arrived, Sasuke came back with Neji, Sakura, Hinata, and Ino. They had stared in shock at the small boy that was Naruto. Sakura and Hinata felt smiles light their faces as they stared at the adorable child. He was so cute. "Hinata and Sakura, I need you to analyze the potion. Neji, can you check him for any internal injuries?" Tsunade turned and handed Naruto to Gaara, going over to talk to Iruka and Kakashi. "Tsunade-sama, do you want Ino to check Naruto's mind?"

Tsunade turned to stare at Gaara. "That would probably do more harm to him than it would do good. No, have her help Sakura and Hinata sort out the mess that caused this. Neji, were you able to find any physical injuries?" "As far as I can see, he is unharmed physically, but if he remebers both you and Gaara and no one else, then his memories have been jumbled and mixed up." Tsunade nodded.

"We can't do anything for him until we know exactly what happened. Did anyone see the person that cast the spell?" There was a collective murmurs of no from the class. Malfoy shook his head, keeping his face controlled so he wouldn't give himself away. Before Tsunade could question the class further, Snape entered the room with Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Madam Pompfrey.

"Tsunade-hime, what a pleasant surprise. Now, where is Naruto?" Gaara stepped foward, Naruto shifting in his arms so he could look at the new people. "Who's the old man? Am I in trouble?" Dumbledore's face turned grave as he examined the boy that he remembered when he had first met Naruto. "Naruot-kun, you don't remember me?" He kept his voice gentle and his face kind as he questioned Naruto.

Naruto tilted his head to the side as examined him. His face turned to one of terror and amusement at the same time. "Ah, your the old man who I dyed his hair purple. Baa-chan, save me, he's gonna dye my hair green again." Dumbledore chuckled, at least Naruto seemed to have some of his earlier memories. "Dumbledore, I think we should take this to your office. Gaara and Sasuke, come with us. Everyone else go back to your classes. Sakura, go with Hinata to the library and start doing a written analysis on what you've learned so far. Neji and Ino, notify the others of the situation before you return to class."

Dumbledore led the way out of the classroom and to his office, silently contemplating the new developement. How would this effect their ability to protect Harry and Hogwarts? In his office, he conjured up a few extra chairs before he took a seat and stared at the group of shinobi in front of him. "Before we start looking for a solution, Sasuke, you need to know something. And don't you dare blame Naruto for not telling you. Itachi never killed your family. It was Orochimaru and Akatsuki. Since the night of your family's deaths, he has been acting as a spy in the Akatsuki. It was easier to let you think he killed them and have you hate him, because he knew you would grow strong enough to protect yourself as you grew older. I had planned on telling you when you came back, since Itachi has just moved back into the village."

Sasuke stared at Tsunade in disbelief, then felt his anger rise. He had spent most of his life training so he could kill his brother and now he's told that his brother hadn't been the one that killed his family but Orochimaru and Akatsuki. And Naruto had known. Sasuke could feel his eyes flickering into his Sharingan as he looked into Naruto's wide, blue eyes.

Naruto stopped breathing as he stared into Sasuke's eyes, his own eyes growing impossibly wide as his pupils dilated until they were only rimmed with a thin ring of blue. His mind was blank and he could no longer hear Kyuubi's frantic voice telling him to breathe. Naruto began to shake uncontrollably as he continued to stare into Sasuke's eyes. He could feel the ghost of a blade sinking into his flesh, the biting pain as it pierced into him deeply, drawing a thick stream of blood.

Tsunade stepped in front of Naruto and slapped Sasuke hard across the face before she turned and took Naruto from Gaara's arms. Naruto blinked, then he buried his face into her chest as he started to cry and whimper, his body now vibrating as he continued to shake uncontrollably. "Sasuke, never, ever, look at Naruto again with your Sharingan. He was raped by an Uchiha before the massacre and whenever he sees the Sharingan, he has flashbacks. Now, sit down. Itachi's going to come here and you better not try and kill him. He's still recovering from killing the leader of the Akatsuki. They're completely wiped out now thanks to him and Naruto."

Tsunade pulled a scroll from her pocket and opened it. Biting her thumb, she pressed some of her blood on it before she forced her chakra into it. Nothing seemed to happen, then Tsunade tossed the scroll onto the floor and in a swirl of leaves, Itachi appeared. Sasuke would have lunged at his brother, but Gaara's sand stopped him. As he stared at Itachi, he seemed older and more worn then he had ever remembered. "I'm assuming something has happened if you summoned me while my little brother is in the same room."

Tsunade just sat down and pulled Naruto's trembling body closer to her. "A slight problem has occured and Naruto is unable to act as team leader for the moment. You will take his place and if he recognizes you, you will also be in charge of caring for him and keeping him out of trouble. Dumbledore, do you mind if Itachi acts as an assistant teacher to Kakashi?" Dumbledore looked at him before he smiled. "Not at all. Would you like to have your own quarters or do you want to share some rooms with Iruka and Kakashi?"

Itachi looked horrified at the thought of sharing any rooms with his former teacher. "If it would not be a problem, I would like to have my own quarters. I will also need material on the class I will help teach. If I'm helping Kakashi-sensei, I'm probably going to be teaching the class myself." Tsunade and Dumbledore chuckled. "Itachi, can you deactivate your Sharingan? Sasuke just traumatized Naruto with his." Sasuke stared into his brother's black eyes, his jaw hanging wide open.

"I've been so used to them being activated I didn't even realize they were still the Sharingan. Now, is Naruto calm enough to see me?" Tsunade lifted Naruto and turned him around so he was staring at Itachi. Itachi stared back shocked. He had thought the blonde child in Tsunade's arms was someone else, not a chibi-fied Naruto. "'Tachi? Why are you here? I thought you had to go away to spy on Akatsuki." Itachi felt a smile tug on his lips as he stared into the bewildered eyes of Naruto. "I finished my mission Naru-chan. Now, are you going to give me a hug or not?"

Naruto smiled as he held his arms up and waited for Itachi to pick him up. Itachi gave up the fight and smiled as he picked Naruto up, feeling him wrap thin arms around his neck as he rested his head on his shoulder. "I'm happy your safe. Now you don't have to pretend to hate your little brother. Sasuke really hates you though, even though he misses you. I hated lying to him, it made me sad."

"Sshhh, Naru-chan. You don't have to lie to him any more." "But 'Tachi, what if he hates me cause I lied? I don't want him to hate me, not him." Itachi wiped away the tears that began to fall from Naruto's eyes. "Naru-chan, he won't hate you. Besides, you didn't have a choice. You had to lie to everyone because it was part of your mission. Now, stop crying." Naruto nodded and dried his tears using the sleeve of his robe. Smiling, Naruto kissed Itachi on the cheek before he rested his head against his shoulder and fell asleep.

Itachi nearly flinched when he felt the killing intent rolling off of his brother. "Don't worry Sasuke, he has only eyes for you. Besides, someone else has my interest." Sasuke glared at his brother, his entire body radiating his jealousy. Itachi smirked as he sat down and craddled Naruto closer.

Sasuke couldn't believe it. Itachi had called his Naruto, Naru-chan. _His _Naruto. He was relieved that his brother hadn't really killed his family, but he still wanted to kill him. This time, it was because he had dared to hold his Naruto. Yes, he was possessive. Very possessive.

"Well, for now, do you mind staying in Gryffindor with Naruto? It would be best for him to be with someone he recognizes until he regains more of his memories. For the rest of the week, you will stay with Naruto. We'll wait until the weekend to set up scheduele for his classes. Hopefully by then, he'll recognize a few more people. Now, Tsunade-hime, would you like to notify the rest of the team of the new arrangements? I can have them brought here if you would like." Tsunade nodded. "Have Kakashi and Iruka brought here as well. It would be best for them to meet Itachi as well, we don't need them to attack him on sight." Dumbledore smiled before he scribbled note and handed it to Fawkes.

Ten minutes later, all of the shinobi were gathered in Dumbledore's office. They were on guard as they stared at Itachi who was holding Naruto and standing next to Tsuande. "Itachi will be joining you in your mission and will act as assistant teacher to Kakashi. Now, before you start arguing, you should know that Itachi has just finished his mission as a spy. He was not responsible for the Uchiha massacre. Akatsuki and Orochimaru were. Since Akatsuki has been wiped out, Itachi no longer has to pretend to be an enemy of Konoha. He will watch over Naruto this week, and hopefully, he will have regained enough of his memories to recognize some of you. Until then, be gentle and cautious around him. Don't mention anything about the fox to him. If he recognizes you, then protect and guard him. Until we find out who attacked him, he is to be guarded. Itachi, Kakashi, Iruka, and Shikamaru will take over as team leaders. The four of you will have to organize patrols, information gathering, reports, and security. Jiraiya, Zabuza, and Anko are gathering information on the enemy with the rest of the Order. You will recieve reports from Jiraiya through a summons. Remember, no jutsus unless absolutely necessary. I want a report everyday of Naruto's condition and a weekly report of how the mission is progressing. Send them using Kakashi's summons. Report anything on enemy movements immediately. If anything happens to Naruto, summon me immediately. I don't care if its the middle of the night at home, get me. Now, I gotta go. Naruto, wake up."

Naruto stirred in Itachi's arms before he slowly opened his eyes. "Naruto-kun, I have to leave now. Give me a hug." Naruto looked like he wanted to cry, but he smiled and gave Tsunade a hug. She kissed him on the forehead before she handed him back to Itachi. "Now, be good. I'll try to come and see you every other week or so. I'll be back this weekend though, so you better be good while I'm gone."

Naruto smiled as he nodded. "I'll be good Baa-chan. You better go before you get yelled at for ditching your paperwork agian." Tsuande smiled and disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Dumbledore chuckled as Naruto yawned and curled up to go to sleep again. "We better go down to dinner. By now, the whole school must know about what happened to Naruto. And naturally, it will have been greatly exaggerated. Itachi will also need to be introduced."

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A/N: I won't be able to update more than one or two chapters a night. It's only Monday and I already have a mountain of homework. The chapters I do update will probably be done sometime before I go to bed. So that should be any where from nine to midnight. I'll try my best to update a chapter every night and this weekend I'll update at least three or four if I have them written by then. Thank you for the support and please review. I also know this chapter was sucky, but hey, what do you expect after nearly a dozen candy bars? Me plus writing and sugar equals a big no no. Until then, Ja ne. 


	10. Threats, Posion, and Screams

Summary: Naruto is turned into a six year old and his memories are mixed up. He remembers Gaara, Tsunade, and Dumbledore but he doesn't remember anyone else. Tsunade teleports to Hogwarts as soon as she got a message from Temari. While in Dumbledore's office, Sasuke learns that his brother didn't kill his clan, but it was the joint effort of Orochimaru and Akatsuki. He also learned that Itachi had spied on Akatsuki. After traumatizing Naruto with his Sharingan, Itachi arrives to find a chibi-fied Naruto. Itachi becomes team leader with Kakashi, Iruka, and Shikamaru and will also act as an assistant teacher to Kakashi. Sasuke is very unhappy with his brother calling _his _Naruto, 'Naru-chan.' Will Sasuke kill his brother? And will Naruto ever regain his memories?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Thank you all who review. This chapter is really short, but it is a chapter. I intend to update a chapter every night even if it is shorter then I would like it to be. There should be a law banning teachers from assigning homework. It should also be illegal to start school at seven in the freakin' morning. But it's my fault that I have to get up so early so I shouldn't be complaining. Please enjoy, and remember that school nights I will be forced to update one or two chapters at a time. But on the weekends I'll make up for it and try to do anywhere from four to seven chapters. Depends on how fast I can type. Anyway, I'll shut up so you can enjoy the story.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Ten: Threats, Posion, and Screams**

In the Great Hall, Harry was whispering to Ron and Hermione about the first time he had seen Tsunade. He had just finished his story when Dumbledore entered the room, a man that looked like an older version of Sasuke, following him with the chibi-fied Naruto in his arms. At the sight of the two, the entire Hall burst into whispers. Harry glanced around at the transfer students to see if they recognized the man. When he looked at Sasuke, he was surprised to find him glaring at the older man.

Before he could ponder this newest piece of information, Dumbledore cleared his throat, effectively silencing the chatter. "Due to an unfortunate accident today in Potions, one of our students has been turned into a small child. Sadly, because we do not know yet what caused this to happen, we will be unable to return him to normal. Since we are unable to return him to normal at the moment, his guardian has asked that he be watched over by a personal friend. Please welcome Itachi Uchiha to Hogwarts. Next week he will join Kakashi-sensei in teaching his class. Do not be surprised if you see him accompanying Naruto, or if he chooses to sit amongst the various houses. That is all." Smiling, Dumbledore took his seat after whispering a few words to Itachi.

Harry turned to stare at Ron and Hermione. "He's going to be a teacher? Just how old is he?" Kiba heard Ron's question. "I think he's twenty-four or around there. Ask Sasuke if you want to know. Itachi's his older brother but they haven't seen each other for a while due to family issues. But man, I can't believe Naruto remembers some of us and then he's terrified of others. I'm gonna kill whoever did this to him."

"You'll have to wait in line then. I'm pretty sure Gaara and Sasuke have already claimed the right to torture and kill the poor fool." Kiba looked at Neji and smiled. "Can't say I'd blame Sasuke. I mean, Naruto doesn't even remember him. Scratch that, he doesn't recognize him." "True, but at least he remembers him. I mean, he doesn't even remember us. Oh, Hinata-chan wanted me to tell you that Akamaru is hiding in the Hufflepuff's common room since he had a bad encounter with Mrs. Norris. Apparently the cat did something and Akamaru had the misfortune of being tormented by Peeves because of it." Kiba growled low in his throat.

"That ghost is going to pay. Thanks Neji for telling me. Can you give Hinata-chan these? They're the food pills I made that will change Akamaru back to his normal size. I don't like how some of the older students have been looking at her. I know she can take care of herself but I don't want any of the stupid punks to get killed." Neji took the pack of pills nodding in agreement. "True. We'll have to have a word with our senpais in the near future if they continue with their stupidity."

Neji went over to the Hufflepuff table to talk with his cousin. Their reltaionship had greatly improved thanks to Naruto. Neji no longer despised his cousin and had come to realize that she suffered even more than he did. They had come to a silent understanding and were now very close. Neji had nearly killed Kiba when he learned that he was dating Hinata. Of course, this had led to a fight that landed both of them in the hospital with serious injuries.

Ironically, it was Hinata who had put them there. She had tried to stop their fight, but when they ignored her, she lost her temper and had used more strength then she had meant to. While they were healing in the hospital, they had talked and reach an understanding. Though they both didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, they were overprotective of Hinata. On the day they were discharged, they had agreed to work together to protect Hinata, including taking care of stupid idiots that were more interested in her body then in the danger that came with it.

Itachi was going to sit down at the Gryffindor table, but Naruto's trembling had him headed towards the Slytherin table. Seeing Gaara, Naruto had cheered up and immediately launched himself at the glaring boy. Itachi smirked as Naruto began to spoon feed the boy. When he reached for the milk, his hand stopped just before it touched the goblet. Itachi tensed when he saw Naruto's eyes cloud over but relaxed when he seemed to snap out of it.

Naruto shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He had just remembered talking to Gaara, something to due with milk. Looking around the table, his eyes open wide when he saw Temari. He remembered seeing her that night, and as he studied her he began to recall other vague memories with her. His head began to ache so he gave up on thinking and stared at the food in front of him. He was hungry, but he could remember the countless times when he had been posioned. He knew he was being stupid, but being posioned was far from pleasant.

Itachi noticed immediately that Naruto wasn't eating, and he could guess the reason as to why. A glance at Gaara told him that he had noticed as well. "Gaara, hand him over. I've dealt with this a couple of times before so I know what to do." Gaara nodded, lifting Naruto out of his lap and handing him to Itachi over the table. As if knowing what was coming, Naruto clamped his mouth shut and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sasuke, do you have any antidotes on you?" Itachi looked at his younger brother, hoping that a knife wouldn't be thrown at him. "I don't have any on me. Tsunade-sama told us to keep our things hidden. Kankurou probably has some, if not Sakura or Hinata might. Why, does Naruto think the foods been posioned?" Itachi nodded. "He won't eat even if he knows the food is safe. Not until he's taken at least two or three different antidotes. I can't blame him considering the number of times he's been posioned. And half the time, he won't drink an antidote at all if it isn't his own." Itachi sighed as Naruto glared up at him.

Sasuke sighed as he watched Naruto glare as his brother. "Naruto, do as Itachi-nii says. You should eat or do you want Tsunade banning you from Ichiraku's for life?" Naruto's jaw fell open as he turned horrified eyes on Sasuke. "Baa-baa wouldn't do that would she?" Itachi smirked, picking up on Sasuke's plan. "Naru-chan, do you want to find out?" Naruto turned tear-filled eyes on Itachi, who wanted to do nothing more than gouge out his own to spare himself from having to look into Naruto's. Sasuke gave Itachi a pitying look before he decided to help him out. There should be a law making those eyes illegal.

"Naruto, if she finds out you haven't been eating she'll ban you from ramen for life until you do." Itachi nearly caved into the urge to comfort the boy when tears began to slide down Naruto's cheeks. "No ramen?" By now, half of the table was staring at the group. Steeling himself to the tears, Gaara joined in. "No ramen. Not unless you be a good boy and eat something." Naruto turned his eyes on Gaara, tears now streaming freely down his face.

In a small voice, Naruto managed to whisper what had him fearful of eating anything other than ramen. "Is it safe?" "Naru-chan, I wouldn't make you eat anything if I thought there was even a slight chance that it might be posioned. Now, eat. Dumbledore wouldn't serve food that would posion his students, now would he?" Naruto nodded his head and looked hesitantly at the food. Sighing, Itachi took Naruto's hand and wrapped his fingers around a fork. "Eat ten bites and I'll leave you alone. But if you wake up hungry, don't blame me." Naruto nodded, and took a cautious bite of chicken. Seeming to pass the test, Naruto began to devour the food that was on the plate in front of him.

Itachi smirked, nodding his head towards Gaara and Sasuke in silent thanks. If Naruto had continued to refuse to eat, he had been prepared to ask Dumbledore if he could use the kitchens. If Naruto saw what he made, then he probably would eat it without much resistance. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to threaten Naruto with no ramen every meal so he would eat. Naruto demolished the plate of food and was working on a large bowl of ice cream. He dropped his spoon and clutched his head as his face twisted in pain.

"Owwww. Brain freeze. Owww." Sasuke smirked. "Dobe, that's what you get for eating your ice cream too fast." Naruto managed to scowl at Sasuke even as his head throbbed painfully. "Shut up Teme. At least I don't have a frozen stick shoved up my ass like you do." Itachi tried to supress his laughter but gave up when he saw his little brother's stunned face. He laughed even harder when Sasuke's stunned face shifted to one of horror. Naruto looked up and eeped. He dove under the table and crawled into Gaara's lap where he cowered. Itachi laughing was as unatural as Kakashi showing up early. It was just flat out wrong.

"Itachi-san, I think you should stop now. You've managed to scar Sasuke and Naruto for life." Haku stared Itachi in the eye, even as he supressed a smile. Itachi smirked as he looked from one petrified face to the other. "Naru-chan, why did you call Sasuke a bastard?" Naruto looked at Itachi before his face clouded in confusion. "I don't know. And where's Sasuke? I haven't seen him." "Dobe, I'm right here. Or can you not see the resemblance?" Naruto turned to stare at Sasuke, his eyes growing large as he recognized him. "Sasuke-teme, I'm not a dobe. Stop calling me that." Sasuke smirked, hoping that by provoking the blonde, he would draw out his memories. "Make me... Dobe."

Roaring, Naruto threw himself at him. "Teme. I'm gonna kick your ass." Before he could reach him however, Gaara's sand had caught him around the waist leaving him hanging in mid-air. The Hall grew deathly silent as they stared at Gaara. "Naruto, I thought you promised to stay out of trouble." "But Nii-san, he started it." "Naru-chan. Don't argue. It's time for you to go to bed now." "But 'Tachi, I'm not tired at all." Itachi smirked when Naruto let out a huge yawn, his eyes drooping shut. "Gaara, as interesting as your enchanted sand is, I think you should put it away now." Gaara was about to protest about his sand being enchanted when Haku kicked him in the leg and gave him a barely disirnable shake of the head. Taking the hint, he released Naruto before he sent his sand back into his robes.

As his sand disappeared, the Hall broke into excited chatter. When people began to crowd around him, Naruto started to shake, making himself as small as he could in Gaara's lap. Feeling the blonde shake and sensing his fear, Gaara glared at the crowd. Some of them backed away and left, but there were others that came to replace them. As Naruto's trembling grew stronger, Gaara began to unleash his killer intent. He stopped when Naruto let out a small whimper. "Itachi, I think I'll take Naruto with me tonight. I'm sure you have much to discuss with Kakashi and Iruka-sensei. Kankurou, were you able to analyze some of the properties of the ingredients used in the potion?"

"Yes, but it's nothing useful. From all of the possible properties I've analyzed in most of the ingredients, I've found none that would cause Naruto to shrink. Hinata and Sakura have probably come to the same conclusion. I haven't been able to identify at least nine of the ingredients used. I'm assuming Naruto used these in order fix his first potion that Neville managed to botch. I can't say I blame the boy with the way Snape kept breathing down his back. If Snape had done that to me I would have blown a fuse."

Gaara nodded, he didn't usually care about the weak, but it seemed that Naruto was rubbing off on him. Neville was already timid, and he could pratically smell the fear that rolled off of the boy when Snape had hovered behind him. Snape clearly favored Slytherin, and this was made painfully clear with the way he took points off of Gryffindors for the smallest of things. And the ridiculously large amount of points he awarded Slytherins screamed how much he favored his own House.

Sasuke stood up, stretching. Several of his joints made popping and snapping sounds. Sasuke smirked as Itachi did the same. "Gaara, wait here for a moment. I'll ask the Headmaster's permission for Naru-chan to sleep with you tonight." Gaara chuckled darkly. "Itachi, I thought you were smarter than that. You know I don't sleep." "Exactly. That means you'll be able to wake him up if he has a nightmare. And he's more than likely to if his memories have been shifted around." Gaara glanced down at the blonde that was half asleep in his arms. "You had better hurry. He's already half asleep and it doesn't look like he'll stay awake much longer."

Itachi smiled down at the blonde before he walked over to whisper into Dumbledore's ear. Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded his head, his blue eyes sparkling as he smiled. Itachi came back and nodded to Gaara. "He said it's okay. I'll come with you so I'll know where to find you in the middle of the night if I need to." Sasuke scowled. Itachi probably wanted to know where the Slytherins common room was so he could visit Naruto in the middle of the night. As they left the Great Hall, Itachi spotted Shikamaru talking to Temari, Kankurou, Hinata, and Sakura.

"Shikamaru, Iruka-sensei wanted to see you before you turned in." Shikamaru nodded. _"Tell him that I'll patrol tonight with Kakashi, but the two of you should draw up a plan so we partol in shifts. It would probably be best if it was done by house. That way you guys can cover for each other. Alternate it so that either me, Kakashi, or Iruka is paired off with two of you guys. There should be different shifts so those on guard that night get some sleep." "Then, that means we won't use Kiba for a while since he'll be alone and we need him to guard the Potter boy. We can use Akamaru, Shino's bugs, and shadow clones to help cut down the workload. I'll talk with Iruka. We should have something planned in the next day or two. You better go and put Naruto to bed before he falls asleep. Troublesome, the whole mission is."_

Itachi nodded and followed Sasuke, Haku, and Gaara down towards the dungeons. He was careful to note where the entrance to the Slytherin common room was and made a mental note of what the password was. They were barely half way across the common room when someone spoke. "What is he doing here? This is the _Slytherin _common room." Sasuke glared at Malfoy before he smirked. "Ah, Brother, let me introduce you to Draco Malfoy. Malfoy, my older brother Itachi. If you have a problem with Naruto being here then take it up with him."

Itachi hid his smirk as he woke Naruto up enough so that the blonde would tell him good night. "Night 'Tachi. Don't traumatize the students too much." Itachi smirked again before he placed a soft kiss on Naruto's forehead. He saw Gaara smirk as Sasuke glared daggers into the back of his head. "Gaara, tuck him in. Change him into one of your shirts before you put him to bed." Gaara nodded and disappeared into the boy's dormitory with Haku following him.

Sasuke stayed behind to watch Itachi taunt Malfoy who was flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "You didn't answer my question Itachi. Why is that 'boy' here?" Malfoy spoke the word boy like it was something disgusting. Itachi bristled in anger, but quickly controlled his emotions. "He is here because Gaara will be looking after him while I consult with Kakashi about classes. Protest all you like but it won't change. I have Dumbledore-san's permission and that is all that matters." Malfoy glared and was about to open his mouth to retort when a shrill scream echoed through the room.

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A/N: This really ended bad, but the next chapter will make up for it. It should be up sometime tomorrow afternoon or night if I don't have too much homework. Man, I'll never complain again about someone not uploading. It takes time and patience. I don't have that much patience so it's really annoying for me, but I won't complain since I enjoy your reviews. But to all writers that update thier stories to the very end, you have my respect. All writer that update on a regular basis, have my respect. Please review and I'll do my best to post the next chapter tomorrow. Oh, Malfoy will stop being an ass pretty soon, so all who are looking foward to the Malfoy x Harry pair, it's coming soon. 


	11. Memories, Babysitters, and Jokes?

Summary: Itachi is introduced as Naruto's guardian and Kakashi's assitant teacher. He sits with Naruto at the Slytherin table and has to threaten him with no ramen to get him to eat. After dinner, Itachi gives Naruto to Gaara to look after for the night while he patrols the castle with Kakashi. But before he goes off for guard duty, he follows Haku, Gaara, and Sasuke to the Slytherin common room so he could tuck Naruto in bed. Itachi is confronted by Malfoy, so he decides to have a little fun with his future student. But before things could escalate, a scream is heard. Who screamed? And how exactly did Itachi get his nickname?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, sadly I can't think of anyone for Gai yet so I might do an outside character just for him. If you have a suggestion for a character for Gai, please tell me. It's hard to think up a good one for Gai. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Thank you all who review. Another chapter and this one is longer. I think my shortest chapter had something like a thousand words. Pretty long compared to some other stories, but pretty short in mine. This one is longer so please enjoy. I'm pretty sure I caught all of the mistakes, but if I didn't oh well. I'm sure you can figure out what I meant. School is so evil, but yay, I have a minimum day Friday. That means I can type a lot of my chapters so they will be ready to upload on the weekend. And next week is Halloween. Speaking of which, do you want to see any specific costumes for the Halloween feast in the story? Send me your ideas and I'll let the readers vote on their favorite idea. Send your ideas in as soon as possible so I can make a list for readers to vote on. I will of course give credit to those who suggested it, unless you do not want credit and tell me so. Great, now I want candy. (Drooling on the keyboard, thinking about Snickers, Twix, Skittles, Air Heads, etc.) XD Enjoy, and don't be afraid to review.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

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**Chapter Eleven: Memories, Babysitters, and _Jokes?_**

Both Sasuke and Itachi were next to Gaara and Haku in a flash. Naruto was lying on the bed in a large black shirt; his eyes open wide as he stared at some unseen horror. Gaara was desperately trying to calm the blonde, but every time he touched the small child he would cringe away and whimper. Itachi gripped Naruto by the shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye. Naruto let out one more whimper before his eyes rolled back and he fell limp in Itachi's hands. "Itachi, what did you do?"

Itachi gently lifted Naruto so he could cradle the unconscious boy. "All I did was stare him in the eye. My Sharingan wasn't activated, plus I don't think he even saw me." Itachi was unnerved. He had worked with the blonde when they were both Anbu, before he left the village to play spy. He also didn't know it was Naruto at the time either, he had known him as Fox. He remembered his first encounter with the young Anbu.

Naruto had slammed into him, having just been thrown out of the Hokage's office. Instead of apologizing, he had stood up and dusted off his uniform. Itachi had placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping the small boy from leaving. Slowly, Naruto had turned to stare at him. He was slightly surprised when he saw the Fox mask, and decided to teach the newest Anbu some manners. Activating his Sharingan, Itachi had stared the small Anbu in the eyes.

Naruto had froze for a moment when Itachi had glared at him with his Sharingan eyes, then he suddenly disappeared. Itachi had his guard up instantly, but Naruto had slipped past it. He had been thrown against a wall with a kunai about to be plunged into his eyes when Naruto suddenly dropped the blade and started to back away from him.

Although they were both wearing masks, Itachi had been able to see Naruto's eyes. All he saw was absolute terror. It was in that moment that he had been intrigued by the child Anbu and sought to uncover his secrets. It wasn't until six years after the Uchiha massacre did he encounter him again. Itachi shook his head at the memory.

He had arrived at the appointed time to pass on his report, only to find no one there. Itachi had been worried; his usual contact was always on time. He was about to leave when a kunai was flung at him. Dodging the attack, he was shocked when he saw a blonde boy glaring at him with the same icy blue eyes that the Anbu Fox had. Unsure if the boy was friend or foe, Itachi decided to use the signal that he always used with his normal contact.

"The weasel has come out of hiding, but only to fool the eyes of his hunters." Itachi waited as the blonde stared at him before he slowly answered. "Ah, but the weasel is nothing more than a hunter in disguise." Itachi relaxed slightly, but he still kept his guard up. He studied the boy as he approached, shocked when he saw the whisker like marks that adorned his cheeks. He had seen those marks before.

"Naru-chan?" Naruto flinched at the name but a grin was quickly forming as he smiled at the older and taller man. "Yeah, it's me 'Tachi. I'm assuming that you're the one that Sasuke wants to kill. I was surprised when I found out that you didn't actually kill your clan. I was royally pissed because the old man didn't tell me in the first place. So how have you been?"

Itachi frowned. Why was Naruto here? And why did he know a triple S-class secret? He couldn't be more than a Genin, even with how talented he was. Itachi briefly remembered the few times the Hokage had assigned him to guard and train Naruto. He had resented being forced to watch over the demon brat, but after watching him for a day, he was shocked at what he saw.

He knew the villagers would hate Naruto, but he hadn't expected them to openly show their hatred. What had really shocked him was how Naruto smiled through all the hate, never once letting them see anything but a happy face.

He had followed Naruto out to the forest later that same day and he felt disgusted with himself when he saw the loneliness and sadness that Naruto's face displayed. His eyes no longer held a faint gleam of mischief. Instead they looked like those of an ancient man, not the eyes of a young child. Itachi had leaned in to get a closer look, snapping a small twig in the process. The noise was barely even distinguishable in the sounds of the forest, but Naruto's head had shot up with his eyes locking on where he was hidden.

Itachi cursed under his breath as he quickly and silently teleported to another spot. He was about to leave when he saw a group of men approaching Naruto. Even though he was far away, he was able to smell alcohol on them. They reeked of it. Naruto quickly stood up and began to back away, making sure that there was nothing behind him. He only managed to take twelve steps back when the drunken men caught up and surrounded him. For a moment, they did nothing, but soon one of the four men threw a punch.

Naruto had tried to dodge, but it connected with his left shoulder. Soon all four men were attacking him from all sides. Itachi was about to intervene, but stopped when he saw the way Naruto was taking the hits. They connected, but he took very little to no damage. The boy was only four and he was expertly taking attacks. He himself hadn't been that good when he was that age. He sat back and watched for another few minutes, until one of the men drew a blade.

The man had stabbed Naruto in the shoulder before Itachi could disarm him. Angry, Itachi quickly knocked the four men unconscious, hitting them a little more than was necessary. He looked down at Naruto just in time to see the boy pull the blade from his shoulder. His face betrayed no pain, but his pale skin was a sign of blood loss. Itachi stepped forward reaching a hand out to take the boy's hand, but Naruto dropped the blade and was slowly backing away from him.

Annoyed, he activated his Sharingan, intending to cast a genjutsu on the boy. He hadn't expected the boy to stare at him in terror for a moment before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell forward in a dead faint. It was reflexes alone that made him catch the boy.

After seeing the villagers' hate, Itachi decided to take the boy directly to the Hokage. He tied the four drunks to a tree before he left at a sprint, Naruto's tiny body cradled in his arms. It took him close to ten minutes to reach the Hokage tower and another five to be let into the Hokage's office. He was irritated that upon seeing Naruto, the guards had tried to prevent his entry. He would have killed the two Anbu guards if Sarutobi hadn't stepped out of his office to see what was going on.

When he saw Naruto's unconscious and bleeding form, his face drained of color as he ordered Itachi into his office. Before he closed the door, he had whispered a few words to the guards before slamming the door in their faces. Itachi quickly told the Hokage what he witnessed, not waiting to be asked. When he reached the part about the guards tied up in the woods, the Third stopped him for a moment while he called in his guards.

Itachi could smell the fear coming off of them. Whatever the Hokage had said, it had scared them enough that you could smell their fear. As soon as they left, Itachi continued his story. While he was talkig, the Hokage had Naruto stretched out on top of his desk, carefully examining him from head to foot. Relieved that his injuries were minor, he proceded to clean and wrap the small boy's stab wound.

"Itachi, I want you to train Naruto once a week. Spend the entire day with him. As for guarding him, I have others that take shifts watching him. You will need to guard him once a week, this time I don't want him to know you are watching him. You may have noticed in the forest that he has very sharp instincts. If he senses any hostility in the person that is following him, he will lose them. I once followed him only for him to disappear right in front of me. I was angry though and was going to reprimand him for pranking the council members. Of course they didn't know it was him." The Third chuckled at the memory as he stared down fondly at the boy.

"If that is all sir, I need to return home to train with Sasuke. I fear that Father expects more of him than he did of me when I was his age." "Yes, but tomorrow you will be spending the day with Naruto. If you want to train with Sasuke, then you have to bring Naruto. From the moment he wakes up until he falls asleep at night, you will be with him. You are dismissed." Itachi bowed before he quickly left.

The next day, he arrived at the Hokage's office at seven. He was surprised when he saw Naruto sitting in front of him, glaring daggers at the man. "Old man I don't need a babysitter. I can take care of myself. Or have you forgotten that I've learned several different styles of Taijutsu? And why is he here? He better not be my babysitter." Itachi could feel his jaw drop. He had entered the room silently, not even the slightest noise or shift in air. Nothing should have given away his presence.

"Naruto, you may know several styles but you have yet to master them. Itachi will be training you once a week. I want you to be able to protect yourself if you are unable to escape your attackers." "Old man, if I ran they would have followed me. And if I ditched them then I would have made it worse. I've done it before, only to have the same group beat me everyday for a week. And don't look shocked that you didn't know. You were gone that week for a meeting with some old fart in Stone."

Sarutobi could feel a headache coming on. He also knew better than to ask Naruto who his attackers were. The boy would never tell, saying that he refused to be like them. "You don't have a choice. You will spend the day with Itachi. Now, you are dismissed. Itachi, please take care of him." Itachi bowed and left the office, slightly amused when Naruto stuck his tongue out at the Third before darting out the door.

He had just closed the door when he heard a loud crash and the Hokage bellowing, "Naruto!" Itachi looked for the blonde boy, spotting him as he just turned the corner. Groaning, he gave chase. He was impressed at the speed that Naruto ran. He was gaining on him when the blonde suddenly disappeared from right in front of him. Now he knew what the Hokage meant.

Cursing, Itachi spent the next five hours searching for the boy. He finally found him in a ramen stall, about to eat his first bowl of ramen. He had barely taken one bite of the noodles before he spat them out and began to cough. Worried, Itachi ran over to the boy and began to pound him on the back. He looked up just in time to see a waitress trying to run from the shop. But before she could leave, the shop owner had caught her by the wrist, glaring at her. "You won't get away. You just tried to poison one of my customers."

Instead of panicking, the middle-aged woman sneered at him as she tried to yank her wrist from his grasp. "You have no proof that I tried to poison the brat. He could have just choked on his noodles. It would have been a blessing if he did." "You may not know this, but the ramen that I cook is impossible to poison. Any poison that is slipped into it makes the noodles taste awful, doesn't matter what type of poison." "That's impossible. I used a tasteless, odorless, colorless, fuckin' undetectable poison. There is no way that he knew it was poisoned." The woman slapped a hand over her mouth as she realized what she just said.

Itachi glared at her, quickly withdrawing a pair of handcuffs from a hidden pocket. He didn't work in the police force but he always carried a pair of handcuffs in case he ever had to arrest a civilian. He slapped them onto her before he could protest any further. She had turned to him looking indignant until her eyes fell onto his clan symbol. "I do not appreciate you trying to poison the child that I am suppose to train today." He glared at her, allowing his eyes to flicker red for an instant.

Itachi left the waitress in Ichiraku's hands. He scribbled a quick note of what he had witnessed, instructing the man to give it to whoever arrived to pick up the woman. Turning, Itachi growled as he once again found Naruto missing. Just how hard was it to keep track of a single small child? He was wearing neon orange for crying out loud. How could he not be able to find him?

Growling, Itachi once again spent several hours searching for his charge. After about three hours, he found the boy practicing his taijutsu in one of the training grounds. Few people came by the area since the training grounds were located right next to the Forest of Death. He sat and silently observed the boy, surprised at how smoothly he moved. Compared to most Academy students, his moves were flowing and graceful instead of choppy and awkward.

"You can come out. I know you're there. I'm surprised, your the first person to find me so fast besides the Oji-san. The old fart usually finds me in an hour since he knows all of my favorite spots. I ditched my last babysitter for a week. And he was supposed to be some top-notch jounin." Itachi didn't move, not believing that he had been detected. "Fine, be that way. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Naruto flung a kunai at him, embedding the blade right next to his cheek. A small trickle of blood began to slide down his left cheek. Itachi touched his cheek in shock. That brat did not just cut his face. Itachi pulled the kunai out of the tree and stalked foward. The blonde was definitely going to pay for daring to cut his face. He was just about to reach the boy when he attacked. Slightly caught by surprise, Itachi dropped the blade so he could parry the blow.

Itachi stayed on the defensive, studying Naruto's movements. He was no longer surprised by the boy. He had lost the boy twice that day because he had underestimated him, he wasn't about to make that mistake again. Slowly, he began to attack. Itachi held back, fighting him like he would Sasuke. He didn't lower his guard like he would with Sasuke. When he sparred with Sasuke, he would fight at a lower level, making both his attack and defense the same it would be for that level. Sasuke would only land a hit if he was able to spot the weaknesses in his fighting.

Sasuke had improved greatly through this method, so Itachi decided to do the same, fighting Naruto just a level above his current skills. After about two hours or straight fighting, Itachi could tell that Naruto was reaching his limits. He was about to end the fight when Naruto landed a vicious blow that winded him. It was the first clean hit that he landed. Grinning, Naruto held up a victory sign before falling foward. Itachi caught him before he could hit the ground. He could deal with the brat. Picking him up, Itachi carried him home, looking foward to the next day he would spend with him.

For the next year, he trained with Naruto. Sadly, he spent most mornings looking for the brat and if he found him before lunch, he would train him in weapons. After eating ramen for lunch, Itachi would once again search for the blonde for an hour or so. When he found him, they would spar for an hour or two. When Itachi was satisfied that Naruto would be able to put up a fight, he began to teach him the basics of different styles. There had been another four attempted posionings on the boy, and five assasinations attempts. This was while Itachi was with him.

The days that Itachi watched the blonde from afar, he had witnessed another fifteen attempted posionings and had stopped at least eleven assasination attempts. He started to wonder how the boy had managed to survive. He had a feeling that the Hokage had a part in his survival. After about ten weeks, Naruto finally began to call him by his name, well part of his name. It was during a spar that he had first called him 'Tachi. From then on, he called Naruto, Naru-chan. At first this angered the boy, but he could tell it was an act. Naruto was so starved for affection that even the smallest bit of kindness shown to him would put him on cloud nine.

"'Tachi, are you going to daydream all day or are you going to give me your report? I have to be back to the village in an hour if I'm going to meet my team tomorrow morning. And before you ask, I'm a Genin. Well, technically I'm an Anbu captain, but I'm posing as a Genin for an S-class mission. Now, can we hurry? We don't want to be seen together since your suppose to be coming after me to get the fuzz-ball." Itachi had been snapped out of his memories by Naruto's drastic statement.

It was this first meeting that Itachi had learned of Naruto's secret identity. Itachi was snapped out of his memories when Naruto shifted in his arms. "Itachi, I think you should go see Kakashi and Iruka. You'll need to discuss several things I'm sure. I'll take Naruto and hold him. That should keep his nightmares away. _We need you and Kakashi to map out some of the castle for us. It will take us at least a week to explore and memorize the lay out of the castle by ourselves. Some sort of communication system needs to be set up. Sakura probably has an idea for passing along information, like a spelled scroll or something. You better go though if you want to get any sleep tonight." _

Itachi nodded and carefully handed Naruto to Gaara. "You guys had better go to bed. Gaara, you need to be the first person he sees when he wakes up. And Sasuke, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. Good night, and have Shino keep the bed bugs from biting." Gaara snorted, the closest he would come to actually laughing out loud. Haku giggled slightly, laughing a little harder when he saw Sasuke's amused and horrified face. Itachi left the room laughing one of those creepy laughs. He had an evil glint in his eye. This was going to be one crazy year.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed. And if I get a lot of suggestions for costume ideas, I'll post a list in a chapter this weekend for all readers to vote on. You have to leave your vote in a review if you want it to count. Or e-mail me directly. I think my e-mail adress is posted. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed the chapter and I'll work hard to have a chapter ready to update tomorrow. I think I'll try updating chapters in the morning, but I'll have to see if I can get up early enough. But I will try to update at least one chapter every day, as long as I don't get writer's block. But if I do get writer's block, I'll tell you. You can expect a huge amount of chapters though, because I usaully write a ton when I finally get over it. You don't have to worry about me dropping this story, I intend to finish it, even if I end up short-circuiting my brain. Thanks again for all of the reviews. Here's a teaser about the next chapter. Kakashi arrives early. The world is coming to an end. Much screaming and laughing will be involved. (Evil laughter.) Hopefully I'll have the chapter up tomorrow afternoon or night. And happy b-day to my annoying older brother. He knows who he is. And if it is also your birthday today, Happy B-Day. (I think I'm done being random, check my story tomorrow around nine p.m. I hope to have the next chapter up by then.) Kuu kuu kuu kuu. (Okay, now I'm done being random.) XD 


	12. WTF? Kakashi's Early?

Summary: Naruto has another nightmare. While Itachi is holding him, he remembers how he met Naruto for the first time as an Anbu, child, and when he was a genin. Before he leaves the room, he tells a joke then laughs. Creepy. Now, what trouble will Naruto be getting into? (Evil laughter with sounds of destruction in the background) X3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, extreme humor in this chapter

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: **_I'M SO SORRY!! _**My parents banned me from my computer because I have a couple of C's on my progress report. Stupid school. As an apology to all of my loyal readers, I made this chapter really long. It has something like nine thousand words. I won't be able to update for another week or two at least since I'm still grounded. There may be a lot of mistakes, but I had to hurry before my parents come back since I snuck onto my computer. I'll go back and fix the mistakes later. Hopefully I can update really soon. Please continue to review. Thank you for your support and once again, I apologize for not updating. _School is evil, stupid school. _I hope you like the chapter.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_"This is a note, pass it on." --notes, letters, written things, etc..._

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**Chapter Twelve: WTF? Kakashi's Early?**

Gaara sat and quietly watched Haku sleeping next to him. Naruto was curled in his arms, his face buried into his shoulder as he snored softly. Sasuke had stayed up a little while after Itachi left, doing some of his homework while he thought. Gaara smiled softly as Haku shifted in his sleep.

There were definite advantages to staying awake all the time. **'If you weren't his boyfriend then you would make one creepy stalker. And please stop with your fantasies otherwise I'll take control so I can get some relief.' **'...' Gaara smirked when Shukaku growled viciously. 'It's not my fault that you snoop where you aren't welcomed. I thought we agreed that you would stay out of that part of my mind.' **'Shut up. We need to talk to Kyuubi. If anyone would know how to fix Naruto, than the fur ball should.' **Gaara nodded as he looked down at Naruto's sleeping face. For the rest of the night, he sat in silence, the only noises were those of sleep and the occasional bug returning from their midnight exploration.

Naruto woke up before every one else, excluding Gaara who had never went to sleep. He looked around for a moment before snuggling deeper into the warmth that surrounded him. He shuddered as he recalled the memory he had experienced. If Kyu-nee-chan hadn't dragged him into her part of his mind, he would have relived some of his worst memories. But it seems that with the one he remembered, it had triggered something in his mind. He now remembered most of his childhood until just before he started the Academy. He also remembered Temari completely and could recognize at least half of the people he had seen in Dumbledore's office.

"Gaara-nii, where are my clothes?" Gaara gently placed him on the bed next to Haku, who was just waking up, so he could stand. After searching for a few minutes, he found Naruto's shrunken robes. "Here you go Naruto. Can you dress yourself, or do you need help?" Naruto pouted as he took his clothes. "Nii-san, I may have shrunk but I know how to dress myself." Naruto stuck his tongue out before he quickly changed into his robes. Haku chuckled, now fully awake as he climbed out of bed and stretched. "Naruto, did you sleep well?" Haku smiled gently at Naruto, he was so cute with his hair all messed up so that it stuck out at all angles. "I've had better. Haku, did you sleep well?" Haku nearly jumped in excitement, Naruto knew who he was. "Yes I did. Do you want to come with me and get some breakfast?"

Naruto grinned as a mischievous gleam came into his eyes. "I need to wake Teme first." Before Haku or Gaara could stop him, Naruto had jumped onto Sasuke's bed and bellowed into the sleeping boy's ear. "TEME! SOMEONE TOOK A PICTURE OF YOU NAKED AND THEY'RE SELLING IT TO YOUR FAN GIRLS!" Sasuke had shot straight up and was halfway across the room when he stopped. He slowly turned around so he could stare at the laughing heap that was Naruto.

Naruto quickly pulled out a camera and snapped a picture of Sasuke's glaring face, escaping through the door while Sasuke blinked in surprise. He flew down the stairs, crashing into Temari halfway to the exit of the common room. "Temari, save me! Sasuke's trying to kill me!" Naruto turned tear-filled eyes up to Temari who blinked a few times before a dark cloud surrounded her. "Don't worry Naruto-kun, I won't let him hurt you. Do you want to eat breakfast with me?" Naruto wiped away his tears before he nodded.

Temari picked him up and carried him to the Great Hall, her dark aura scaring anyone away. Naruto hid a smile as he looked over her shoulder. Seeing Sasuke, he stuck his tongue out before looking up at Temari. "Ne, will there be ramen?" Temari smiled fondly down at him. "Sorry, but I don't think there will be. Now, you are going to eat. Do you understand?" Naruto nodded, he had seen Temari give Gaara the same look when he had refused to drink his milk. No one messed with Temari if she gave them that look. Instead of sitting at down at the Slytherin table, she sat next to Sakura at the Ravenclaw table.

"Good morning Sakura. I hope you don't mind if we sit here. We're trying to avoid a certain raven-haired person." Sakura smiled, moving over so Naruto could sit down on the bench instead of in Temari's lap. "I know you don't I?" Sakura looked down at Naruto, unable to stop herself from smiling. Inner Sakura was screaming about how cute he was and she had to agree. Naruto looked absolutely adorable. "You do Naruto-kun. But it's okay if you can't remember right now." Nodding at her logic, he pulled himself into her lap and began to stare at the food.

Sakura was slightly surprised, but turned to Temari and mouthed, 'Cute.' Temari nodded in silent agreement. "Troublesome." Naruto turned to look at the newest person to join them. Shikamaru sat down across from Temari, pulling a plate towards him as he yawned again. "Shikamaru, everything is troublesome to you." Shikamaru turned sleepy eyes on Temari before he smirked. "Not everything is troublesome." Temari blushed while Sakura covered Naruto's eyes with her hand. Naruto pushed her hand away and pouted. "I'm not a little kid you know. After all, I managed to trick the lazy genius into asking Temari out so there." Naruto stuck his tongue out before he jumped.

Owls had flown into the hall, dropping off letters and packages. A stunningly silver grey owl landed in front of Naruto, sticking his leg out so he could take the note that was tied to it. Smiling at the bird, he removed the note and fed it a piece of bacon before it flew away. Opening it, he frowned.

_Naruto, it seems that I will be unable to accompany you to your morning classes. I need to write lesson plans since it seemed to have slipped Kakashi's mind. I will meet you at lunch. So, can you stay with Gaara during the day?_

_Itachi_

Naruto frowned before he smiled. If Itachi couldn't watch him in the morning, then he would spend it with the people he was supposed to know. Hopefully, he would remember them if he spent time with them. Tucking the note into his robe he looked over at the teacher's table where Itachi was sitting, quietly talking to Kakashi who looked like he was still asleep.

"Ne, Sakura-chan. Do you know what my first class is?" Sakura thought for a moment then shook her head. "I don't, but Kiba will. Why don't we ask him?" Nodding, Naruto jumped out of her lap and ran over to where Kiba was sitting talking to the twins. "Ne, Kiba. What's my first class? Sakura-chan said you would know." Kiba turned to look at Naruto in shock before he nodded. "We have History of Magic with Ravenclaw first. Then it's DADA, Charms, Care of Magical Creatures with Slytherin, then lunch." "Thanks Kiba. Can you get my books for me? I don't remember where the common room is and I don't want to get lost. Besides, I have to do something before class."

Kiba stared after Naruto as he ran off, blinking when Sakura tapped him on the shoulder. "I don't think he actually remembers you, but it does seem that he knows that he knows us. From what I can tell, he's regained some of his memories. He remembers Shikamaru and Temari somewhat. I'll watch him during History; you'll have to watch him during DADA and Charms until you can hand him over to Gaara or Temari. It seems that Itachi can't watch him this morning. I swear, Kakashi-sensei is absolutely hopeless. I doubt we will have any homework in his class, whatever it is. I better follow Naruto before he pulls a prank and gets a detention. From the glares Sasuke's been giving him, he must have done something this morning."

Kiba nodded as Sakura left to chase the hyper-active blonde. "I guess I should get the blonde's things. I'll just have enough time to get there. See you guys. And remember, we still have to draw up the rules for our prank war Fred, George. Until then, no pranks. After all, it makes things more interesting if we catch our targets unaware." The twins grinned evilly as they nodded in agreement. This year was going to be fun, especially if they had competition.

Kiba made it into the classroom just before the bell rang. Sighing, he dumped Naruto's bag on the table in front of him and took a seat next to the blonde. Hermione was sitting next to Sakura talking about a class they had together. Their teacher wasn't here yet. "Hey, Harry. Is this class interesting?" Harry looked up from his drawing to give Kiba an amused look. "If you didn't get enough sleep, then this is the class you can use to catch up on it. I think Hermione is the only one that can stay more than half awake." Ron nodded in agreement. "But it's strange; Binns is usually here by now."

Just then, the door opened and Iruka walked in scratching his noise as he blushed faintly. "Sorry I'm late class. I had a hard time finding my lesson plans. _Stupid pervert just wanted to stare at my ass while I looked under the bed." _Iruka mumbled the last part under his breath as he glared at the floor. "Anyway, you can call me Iruka-sensei. I will only answer to that. I've been a teacher for the past eight years and all of my students have called me that. Now, we'll start the year off with a project. The whole class will be doing a reenactment of several trials. I'll break you up into three groups today and you can get to know each other if you already don't. Each month, we'll do a project. If the groups work out well, you'll stay in them for the whole year."

At this, Hermione raised her hand. "Iruka-sensei, will the groups be sorted by house, or will it be a mix of both?" Iruka smiled. "Ah, a very good question. Working well with your peers is important. So in this class, there will be no houses, only students. The ability to work with others is essential. Especially during times of unrest. You will have to learn to work with others sooner or later, since when you get a job you will have colleagues to work with. Now, I'll place you in groups so line up over by the wall."

The class stood and did as they were told. Iruka studied how they lined up, friends separating in hopes of being paired together. It took about fifteen minutes for him to sort the class into three groups. Harry was glad that he had been grouped with Ron and Hermione. Neville was also in his group. He looked at the others in his group, wondering if Iruka had sorted them this way on purpose. Neji, Tenten, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Naruto were the other members of his group. Hermione was talking to Sakura about whatever they had been talking about earlier. Ron was goofing off with Kiba and Neville was staring nervously at Naruto.

Harry couldn't observe the group further since Naruto had decided he wanted attention. "Iruka-sensei, did Kakashi-sensei make you late this morning?" Iruka nodded his head without really thinking. "Argh. I warned him. It's bad enough he's always late, but now he's making you late too." Naruto started to mumble under his breath as he pulled out a sketch pad and pencil. Opening to a blank page, he began to draw still mumbling darkly under his breath. Harry was surprised when Iruka paled at the sight of the sketch book. What could be so bad about it?

When the bell rang, Naruto packed his books away and jumped onto Kiba's back. "Hey, Kiba. Carry me. I don't want to get squashed." Kiba sighed. He had spent much of the class talking to Ino, Neji, and Shikamaru about Naruto. Tenten had chatted with Harry, Ron, and Neville, telling them stories about their village. She kept it simple and close to the truth. Kiba made sure to remember some of the things that she had said.

Having experience with the mind through her family's technique, Ino had been questioned by the three boys for the remainder of the class period. She listened to them as they told her what they had learned about Naruto this morning. The only answer she was able to come up with that they all agreed on was that during his sleep, Naruto's memories had surfaced in the form of a dream. Neji agreed to stay behind and speak to Iruka before he headed to his next class.

Kiba shifted his grip so Naruto was sitting on his shoulders, high above the crowd. This was one class that he had not been looking forward to. According to the twins, Umbridge was as mean as she was ugly. His point was proven when Hermione and Harry had been shot down by her. Naruto had been dozing off, but when Umbridge gave Harry a detention, he had stood up with cold eyes. "This class is supposed to prepare us to fight. Do you think an enemy will wait while you try to remember the exact way your suppose to cast a spell, or what it's weakness is suppose to be? It is this kind of naive teaching that can get us killed. I may not have been here last year, but I've heard enough to know that this kind of teaching will get us killed."

"Mr. Uzumaki, you do not know what you are talking about. Please sit down and be quiet unless you would like to join Mr. Potter in detention." Naruto refused to move, his icy stare burning a hole into her eyes. She flinched when his eyes grew so dark they were almost black. "Don't speak of things you know nothing about. Have you ever fought for your life with the odds against you? Did you watch a friend die in front of your eyes? This method of teaching is useless. How would you react if you were caught in a surprise attack? The only way to prepare for these situations is by going through them. You need to teach the body to respond before you train the mind."

Professor Umbridge huffed up in indignation. "Enough. You will be joining Mr. Potter in a detention with me, now come here both of you." Harry reluctantly stood up and walked to the front, Naruto stalking behind him with his arms crossed in defiance. Umbridge wrote something on a piece of paper before handing it to Harry. "Take this to Professor McGonagall, both of you." Naruto stalked out of the room, stopping at the door long enough to turn to look at Umbridge. "Denying the truth will lead to nothing but trouble. I'll be sure to send a letter to your boss. After all, I'm sure he does not want to risk going to war with all the trouble that is going on here." Professor Umbridge opened her mouth to snap back but Naruto and Harry were already gone.

Professor McGonagall sighed when she read the note. "Potter, it would probably be best if you tried to stay out of trouble in her class. Remember who she is working for. And Uzumaki..." "Naruto." "Naruto, telling her that the way she teaches is unrealistic is something you should simply not do." "Professor McGonagall, this is common sense. With Voldemort back, our generation will be caught in the war that will surely follow. Would you send us out to battle ill prepared, just waiting to be killed, or would you rather send us into battle confident that we would be able to at least defend ourselves long enough to escape or for help to arrive?"

That stopped her from speaking. "Honestly, I agree with you Naruto. But the Ministry of Magic refuses to acknowledge the Dark Lord's return. All I can say is that do the best you can and put up with her. Now, you had better go to your next class. I do not want to see either of you again with a note from her. Do you understand?" Naruto and Harry nodded. "Good. And try to stay out of detention. I'm sure you don't want to spend more time with her then you have to. Go to class, if you hurry you shouldn't be late." Smiling, she waved the boys from her office.

In Charms, Ron, Hermione, and Kiba cornered the two boys and began to question and scold them. Naruto had shrugged and wandered off to talk to Professor Flitwick, leaving Harry alone. "I'll tell you guys about it later. For now, can we not talk about it?" Sighing, the three backed off. Harry gave a small sigh of relief, he knew that they would start up again later but for now he was free.

Charms passed by quickly, the most interesting thing that happened was when Naruto accidentally caused all of the furniture in the room to start tap dancing. It took Professor Flitwick nearly half an hour to undo the spell. By then, class was over and they had no homework except to practice their spells.

Kiba was grinning like mad, excited about their next class. Naruto was sitting on his shoulders again as Kiba carried him, following Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry was worried when he saw Professor Grubby-Plank waiting for them next to Hagrid's hut. "Okay class, gather round. Today we will be learning about animal familiars. In some parts of the world, they are also known as summon animals. Now, can anyone tell me what animals they might be?" Naruto's hand shot up. And to the surprise of the class, Hermione's stayed down. "Yes little boy."

Naruto pouted. "I'm not a little boy. Stupid potions." "Forgive me. Can you answer the question?" "Hai. A summon animal can be several things. There are frogs, dogs, snakes, raccoons, foxes, gorillas, slugs, weasels, and a whole lot more that I haven't seen. You also need to sign a contract with the summon boss if you want to be able to summon one. And each contract is made with only one group of animals." "Very good. Thirty points to Gryffindor. Now, sadly I have not signed a contract with one of these animals so I can't show you."

The class groaned in disappointment. "Ne, Professor, I can show the class. Or you could ask Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke-teme, or Temari." Sasuke glared at the blonde. They weren't suppose to show any jutsus. Naruto smiled and ignored his glare. "Yeah right. You're probably just saying that to get attention." Sasuke turned to glare at Malfoy. Naruto only pouted before an evil grin slipped onto his face. He ran so he was standing next to the lake, too far out of sight for any of the students to see what he was doing. There was a shout and a large cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Naruto was sitting on top of Gamabunta's head as he watched the class.

"Brat, where are you? I thought I told you not to summon me when I'm sleeping." Gamabunta took a puff off of his pipe before promptly choking on it as he caught sight of the small blonde sitting on his nose. Naruto was flung into the lake as the frog boss jerked forward. Seeing the blonde go flying, Gamabunta shot his tongue out to catch the small child. Once the boy was safely placed on his head again, he hopped over to the class. "Alright, someone had better explain. Raccoon boy or snake boy, I don't care, just start talking."

"You can speak English?" Kiba stared at the huge frog, wondering why he hadn't spoken in Japanese. "Duh mutt. I can speak any language that my summoner knows, and since it's Naruto who summoned me, I can speak about seventy or so if you count the weird ones and the different dialects. Now, can someone tell me why I was summoned by the smaller than normal brat?" By now the whole class was staring in awe, including Malfoy.

Sasuke glared for a moment before he spoke. "The Dobe summoned you because we are learning about summon animals, also known as animal familiars in these lands." "Ah, so I'm at Hogwarts am I? Haven't been here in a long time. Brat, you could of at least warned me that you would be going to Hogwarts." "Nani? Teme, tell the big frog to put me down. He's part of Ero-sennin's evil conspiracy." By now, the class had gotten over their shock and was now flocking around the large frog. He stayed still for a moment before he growled (Can frogs growl?) and disappeared with a pop and a lot of smoke. A few of the girls screamed when Naruto plummeted to the ground.

Gaara suddenly raised his hands, sending a large wave of sand to catch the falling boy. Naruto landed on the sand with a soft thump before he slid down in front of Gaara. His sand disappeared as he picked the small boy up. "Never do that again." Naruto was still too stunned to reply. Apparently by summoning the frog, he had regained several memories of his training with Jiriaya, including when he was thrown off a cliff. "Ah, I'm gonna kill that pervert. Why the hell did he have to throw me off a freakin' cliff? Wait until I get my hands on him." At this point Naruto started to mumble under his breath, a few words were caught by the students. They were somewhere along the lines of kill, torture, stab, sharp and pointy blades, pain, more pain, things being inserted in painful places, castration, and many others.

Most of the students didn't hear what he was saying and the few that were unfortunate enough to hear some of the words made a mental note to never piss off the blonde. "That was quite amazing. To be able to summon the boss at your age. Now, was that Gamabunta?" Naruto was too busy muttering to himself to answer. Sasuke shook his head and decided to answer for the blonde. "Yes, that was Gamabunta. Please ignore Naruto's earlier outburst. I'm going to assume he is remembering the first time he summoned Gamabunta during his training with his teacher." Professor Grubby-Plank nodded.

"You are lucky that you got to see him. Very few have enough magic to summon a boss at your age. Now, for your homework, I want you to write two feet on the different summon animals. You should include facts on at least five and you should know who the boss is for each summon. Okay, you're dismissed." The class was slow to leave since many of the students were crowded around Gaara and Naruto, asking questions. Gaara glared as he felt Naruto shaking in his embrace. It appeared that the blonde still didn't like being surrounded.

"Temari-nee-chan." Naruto whimpered out as he looked at Temari with his large puppy eyes. Gaara would have pouted if Haku hadn't placed a hand on his shoulder. Reluctantly, Gaara handed Naruto over to his sister. As soon as Naruto was in her embrace, Temari began to radiate her evil aura, causing the crowd to quickly disperse. "Naruto, do you want to eat lunch?" Naruto nodded, wrapping his arms around her neck and resting his head on her shoulder.

Temari had barely entered the Great Hall when Itachi approached them. Seeing him, Naruto grinned and started to talk about what had happened to him that morning. When he reached Umbridge's class, he scowled. "She looks like a frog, and that's creepy. Then she has the nerve to tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about and she gives me a detention. I'm gonna get her back so bad she won't know what hit her." Itachi's face grew dark as he listened to Naruto speak about the class that was supposed to teach him to defend himself against the darker side of the magical world.

Naruto was completely oblivious to this as he went on to describe what happened in Charms and Care of Magical Creatures. Itachi scolded Naruto when he learned that he had summoned Gamabunta. Naruto turned watery eyes on Itachi, causing the older Uchiha to sigh and give the small boy a hug. Those eyes really needed to be made illegal. Itachi decided to eat with Naruto at the teacher's table so he could eat in relative peace. "Ne, 'Tachi. What class are you teaching?" Itachi smiled down at Naruto as he said a single word. "Secret." "No fair. Stupid perverts and their conspiracies. I'll make you regret not telling me."

Sticking his tongue out, Naruto crawled under the table and ran over to sit with Sasuke. Itachi chuckled, not believing that Naruto could do anything. Iruka had heard the exchange and cringed inwardly. He had better warn Itachi. "Itachi-san, I don't know how well you know Naruto but I wouldn't take his threats lightly. He's already taken out his prank book for Kakashi. He only ever uses that book if he's thinking up an especially bad prank, usually reserved for revenge." Iruka shuddered as he remembered some of the pranks that had come out of that book.

Itachi stopped chuckling as he stared at Iruka with wide eyes. "You mean that beat up sketchpad with all of those drawings and details for various traps?" Iruka actually laughed. "Traps? If you were to rank them like jutsus, then they would all at least be low S-class. If you were to change the things used in them, then they can be used as traps. But their original purpose was that of pranks, and will always be for that sole purpose that they were made. You have my sympathy; I still remember what he did to me when he pulled out that book." Iruka shuddered at the memory and gave Itachi a sympathetic smile before he left to prepare for his next class.

Itachi lost his appetite as he remembered a few of the things that he had seen in that notebook. It had been written in a code so he hadn't been able to decipher how it was put together and what was used, but the diagrams and pictures made it perfectly clear what it was meant to do. Itachi had a really bad feeling about his future.

Naruto smiled from Sasuke's lap as he saw Itachi's pale face. Iruka must have said something to him to cause the stoic man to let his fear actually show. Smiling to himself, Naruto turned back to the plate in front of him, only to find it empty. Looking up, he saw Sasuke smirk as he ate the last piece of his steak. "Teme. That was mine." Sasuke's smirk grew even wider as Naruto pouted. Sighing, Naruto curled up into a ball and rested his head against Sasuke's chest. His eyes drifted shut as he slipped into a light doze.

Sasuke stared at the sleeping blonde in his lap. He was starting to worry. Naruto had been sleeping a lot before he had been chibi-fied and now he was sleeping even more. He would send a report to Tsunade, even if he had nothing to base his concerns on. Standing up, he cradled Naruto close to his chest as he walked with Temari to Kakashi's class. Temari had been concerned when Naruto had fallen asleep, agreeing with Sasuke that they should send the Hokage a report stating their concerns about the blonde.

Itachi looked around the classroom, surprised that everyone was there ten minutes before class was due to start. Naruto was still asleep in Sasuke's arms and Gaara was busy groping Haku in a dark corner in the back of the room. Naruto slowly woke up, feeling safe and warm. He pushed himself closer to the warmth as he blinked the last of his sleep from his eyes. He had dreamt about his academy days all the way to his first C-rank mission with Team 7. Naruto felt his jaw drop and his eyes grow impossibly wide when he saw Kakashi enter the classroom, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry I'm late, but I had to help a suit of armor find its missing helmet and then a black cat crossed my path so I had to take a different route." The class stared at him in disbelief before Hermione finally spoke. "You're not late, you're actually early." Kakashi's visible eye widened in horror before it rolled back in his head and he dropped in a dead faint. Naruto seemed to have recovered from his shock because he screamed at the top of his lungs. "No, the world's really going to end. First Gaara, then Itachi, now Kakashi. No, I'm too young to die. I haven't even pranked the ugly toad Umbridge."

Naruto's loud screaming woke Kakashi up as Sasuke finally recovered from his own shock. Sasuke chuckled as he realized what must have happened, Itachi was his proof. Kakashi had failed to show up for his first couple of classes and he walked into this class thinking he was late for his first class. Sasuke smirked even more as Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Itachi hid his own smirk as he looked down at the papers in his hands. Naruto was hyperventilating as he stared at Kakashi his eyes still wide.

"The enemy must have captured him and sent a spy in his place. Yeah, that's got to be it. There is no way that Kakashi would be early to a class; it has to be an imposter. If it's not an imposter then I must be having a nightmare. Yeah, I'll wake up any minute now." Naruto started to calm down as he thought of how he would wake up not remembering a thing. "Well, let's start class. Today we won't be doing anything since you aren't dressed for the lessons."

"Kakashi-sensei, I think you should introduce yourself and tell us what the class is." Sasuke glared at his teacher as he silently laughed. "Why Sasuke-kun, that's a great idea. You will call me Kakashi-sensei. Do not address me as Professor unless you want to experience a large amount of pain. A man that I respected greatly had the nickname of 'Professor' and I refuse to be address as such in honor of him. Now, in this class Itachi-sensei and I will be teaching you muggle fighting as well as how to use your magic without a wand to defend yourself. You will also be learning tactics, strategies, and a variety of other things. Now, does anyone have any questions?"

Malfoy scoffed as he stared at Kakashi in disdain. "Why should we learn muggle fighting _Professor_?" Sasuke grinned as Kakashi suddenly disappeared from sight, only to reappear behind Malfoy. He twisted the boy's arm up behind his back, stopping just short of dislocating it. "This is a warning; never call me anything other than sensei if you value your life." Kakashi gave one more twist before he released Malfoy. "How many of you have found yourself in a situation where you had been relieved of your wand?" Several hands went up, including Malfoy's.

"Now, how many of you would have been able to fight if you found yourself without a wand or another type of weapon other than yourself?" At this, only the new students raised their hands. "You guys don't have to raise your hands; I already know that you can. Because I know you know how to fight, you will help me teach the class. I will also have you guys demonstrate for the class. Yes Naruto." "Kakashi-sensei, are you going to help us train? I haven't practiced since we got here." Kakashi sighed as Naruto tilted his head. "Itachi and I will help you to perfect your taijutsu further, but for now you will have to settle for sparring with each other to keep in shape."

Naruto pouted before his eyes suddenly lit up and he pulled out his wand. Jumping out of Sasuke's arms, Naruto quickly waved his wand, transforming his robes into a pair of baggy black shorts and a black shirt with a nine-tailed fox stitched in red on the back. Running over to Itachi, he handed him his wand before turning to Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei, can we spar? I haven't fought with you for a while." Kakashi's eye turned into the little upside down 'u' that said he was smiling behind his mask. "Okay Naruto, but we'll have to take this outside next to the lake."

Naruto nodded before he jumped onto Kakashi's back. "Sensei let's go." Itachi chuckled as he stood up and beckoned for the class to follow. "Kakashi, why not have this be a demonstration for the class. Have Naruto stick to only Academy moves since that is what his peers will be learning first." "That sounds good. You heard that Naruto, Academy moves only and hold back on your speed." Naruto groaned. "Fine, but I'll need to wear my weights if I'm going to slow down." Itachi suddenly started to laugh, causing Naruto to stiffen and turn terrified eyes onto him. "You wouldn't." More evil laughter was Itachi's answer.

Naruto gave the class a pitying look as he pulled on his wrist and ankle bands, performing a couple of hand seals before tapping each one. He fell over as he realized too late that he had set the weight for his normal body. Kakashi sighed as he looked at Naruto. "Naruto, how much did you set them to?" "I didn't even make them that heavy, I only set each of them at a hundred." The class stared in shock at Naruto as he laid staring at the sky. Even Sasuke looked slightly surprised. "That's what I thought. How much were your weights when you were six?" Naruto thought for a moment before he spoke. "They were each twenty five. I couldn't handle anything heavier since it put too much stress on my body since I was so small."

Kakashi nodded as he tapped Naruto's weights, resetting them for the boy. "I think I'll have you keep your weights on as a reminder of just how strong you actually are. Now, Academy moves only and don't go too fast. I'll stick to the same. And taijutsu only, nothing else. Do you understand?" Naruto nodded, understanding the silent warning. Naruto slipped into the standard stance he had learned in the Academy as Kakashi did the same his eye curved up the whole time. Itachi ushered the students back a little before he gave the signal for the fight to begin.

Naruto moved forward and jumped into the air, trying to strike Kakashi in the head with a round house kick, but he had once again misjudged his size and ended up missing completely. Growling, Naruto quickly back flipped away from Kakashi as he aimed a kick at his open back. Naruto quickly recovered but was put on the defensive as Kakashi lashed out at him without mercy. His punches and kicks were fairly slow and easy to block, but his weights had also slowed him down so Naruto was barely blocking and evading each attack. Naruto was starting to get frustrated, but before he could slip into a different fighting stance, Kakashi had landed a kick on his chest winding him. The kick had also sent him flying back into the lake.

Sasuke had groaned as he watched Naruto fly into the lake. Kakashi had misjudged the power he had placed into his kick. Kakashi sighed as he walked over to the lake to rescue the weighted boy who was struggling to keep his head above the water. Kakashi would have walked along the water's surface if the entire class wasn't watching him so he settled for diving in and swimming over to Naruto who was pretty far out. Reaching the blonde, Kakashi quickly pulled the boy onto his back before he swam back to shore. Haku sighed as he withdrew his wand and waved it, drying both of their wet clothes.

"Now, you will be learning stances next class so come wearing sweats and a t-shirt. Any clothes would work as long as you can move freely in them. Any questions?" Several hands shot up. "Good, you can ask Itachi-sensei then. Later." Kakashi waved before walking off. The class turned to look at Itachi who was smiling evilly, several of them put their hands down. "As Kakashi-sensei said, wear loose and comfortable clothing. You should also wear shoes that you can run in. Now, if you have no questions class is dismissed. Naru-chan, come here for a moment."

Naruto walked over to Itachi, a scowl on his face as he glared at the lake. Itachi suppressed a smirk as he waited for Naruto to look at him. "Naruto, I think you should start sparring in the evenings with someone so you can adjust to your size. You need to know what your limits are exactly. Now scram. Go with Kiba and do your homework. I also don't want to hear about you refusing to eat." "Hai 'Tachi." Waving, Naruto picked up his bag and ran over to Kiba who was talking with Ron and Harry.

"You guys seriously don't know how to fight?" Kiba couldn't keep the shock out of his voice. Harry shook his head as Ron nodded his agreement. "Kiba, of course they don't know how to fight. Hey can you spar with me after dinner? 'Tachi told me that I should learn my limits." "Naruto, don't you have a detention tonight?" Naruto groaned as he remembered. "I do, but I'll have enough time for a quick fight. I didn't even break a sweat with Kakashi-sensei. If Iruka-sensei didn't have his orange book, I bet he would have fought me while reading it." Kiba snorted as he nodded in agreement. He had seen Kakashi reading his book as he sparred with some of the Academy students when he visited Iruka and helped out with their training a few times.

"Do you guys want watch?" Naruto looked up at Ron and Harry, Hermione was reading a book as she walked next to them. "Are you serious?" Ron couldn't contain his excitement. Naruto nodded. "If there's time, we can even show you guys some of the stances you will be learning. Itachi's going to make all of us wear weights. You guys don't have to worry since you're just starting. He'll probably make Kiba and the others wear at least a hundred pounds. Except for Lee, he'll probably just increase his weights a little since they're already pretty heavy."

Harry and Ron looked shocked. A hundred pounds? That was freakin' heavy. Kiba groaned. "Naruto, why did you have to wear your weights in front of Itachi? Man, this is going to suck. Sure a hundred isn't too bad, but that'll slow us down a lot." Naruto nodded his head. "True, but do you remember how fast Lee was when he took his weights off? He's so fast because he trained with weights. This will boost your stamina, strength, and speed. Just think of it as extra training." "Good point. I don't think I'll ever be as fast as Lee, but this could help out in pranks."

Hermione closed her book at this point as she turned to stare at Kiba. "You better not pull any pranks." Kiba laughed as he rubbed the back of his head. "I won't 'Mione." Naruto knew Kiba was lying through his teeth. "Ne, 'Mione. Do you want to learn the stances early? From what I can tell, you have pretty good balance and your movements are graceful." Hermione blushed at the compliment. "But won't you get in trouble?" Naruto smiled as he looked up at her. "Nope. And the extra practice wouldn't hurt. Besides, I have to go through the stances myself since I have to start from scratch. I need to adjust to my new size. I don't have the same range or power in my attacks. Kakashi kicked me into the lake 'cause he misjudged the strength in his kick."

Hermione smiled as she put her book away. "Okay, but you better not be late for your detention." "Yay. Let's do our homework first so we can get it out of the way. We don't have much so we should be able to finish it before dinner." Kiba groaned as he thought about doing homework. "Ano, how do we get to the Gryffindor common room?" Hermione giggled before she took the blonde's hand and led the way.

Kiba, Harry, and Ron were ready to burn their books by the time they finished their homework. Naruto had helped them all with their Care of Magical Creatures homework, describing Gamabunta and giving them some details on some of the other summon creatures that he knew of. They finished and headed down to have an early dinner. Naruto's eyes glowed as he saw steaming bowls of ramen on the table.

Kiba nearly choked on his steak as he watched Naruto run over and tackle Dumbledore as he walked into the Hall. Naruto's smile was so large it was blinding. Dumbledore chuckled as he patted Naruto on the head. "Tsunade said that you liked ramen. She also told me that she would ban ramen from Konoha if you don't send her some cookies soon. I've arranged it with the house elves for you to use the kitchens tomorrow night so you could make her cookies." Naruto gave him one more hug before he ran back and began to devour bowl after bowl of ramen.

Once they had finished eating, Naruto led the way back upstairs. In the boy's dormitory, he stared at his clothes. Sighing, he pulled out a simple pair of loose fitting black pants and a simple, sleeveless red shirt. He shrunk them so they would fit him before he changed into them. He was the first one downstairs and he waited for the others to appear. Hermione came down a few minutes after he did, wearing a similar outfit, only her shirt was a dark green and her hair had been pulled back and braided tightly.

"Since we can't go outside, we can practice here. I'll start teaching you the stances while we wait for the others. I'll show you them first." Hermione sat down and watched closely as Naruto slowly, but gracefully went through the first five basic stances that were taught in the academy. "Each stance has a different style of fighting, so we'll teach you the stances first before we move on. It is important to know the difference in each stance and to find the one you have the hardest time with. If you can master the style you are the worst at, then you will know what you are weak against because you learn to block the attacks of each style you learn. Now, try the first stance. I'll correct anything that's wrong."

Hermione stood up and clumsily positioned herself in the first stance that Naruto had shown her. By now, they had drawn a crowd, many of them interested. Naruto ignored them completely as he repositioned Hermione's foot and adjusted her arm slightly. "Good. Now move into the next one. Don't worry about speed or the correctness too much. You want to focus on the fluidness of your movements. You won't be very good at first, but practice makes it easier. Lots of practice." Naruto smiled as he made a few minor adjustments to Hermione's form.

"You're really good for a beginner. You're movements are pretty smooth and you have good balance like Naruto said. Your movements kinda remind me of water." Hermione could feel herself blush as Kiba praised her. Naruto smiled as he nodded in agreement. "That's good. You're suppose to move like that after all. She's a natural. Now, you correct her as she goes through the stances. I'll show Harry and Ron. If there's enough time, we can show them how to fall without hurting themselves." Kiba nodded as he watched Hermione slowly shift into the next stance. Again, she made a few mistakes, but she was more confident in her movements.

Harry and Ron watched closely as Naruto slowly went through the stances, explaining to them the same thing he did to Hermione about the stances. Once he had shown them, he watched as they both moved from one stance to the next, correcting their footing and arms when needed. "Ron, stop. You're focusing on speed too much. Speed is useless if you don't do the moves correctly and smoothly. Start over, but this time focus on the smoothness and fluidness of your moves. Think of water. Feel the flow of your movements. Watch, but this time I'll do it faster so you can see it." Naruto went through the five stances again, this time moving faster then he had the first time. Hermione gasped in surprise. It looked like Naruto was dancing he was moving so gracefully.

"Now, from the beginning. Go slow. I'll put weights on you if you continue to go too fast. Same for you Harry, you need to slow down a little. You're pretty good with your movements so focus on smoothing them out and keeping yourself in the correct stance. Ron, think of water." Naruto smiled as Ron scowled and slowed down, moving in slow motion. Harry also scowled as he began to slow a little and focused on making his movements more graceful. Naruto smiled as he watched Kiba correct Harry. Naruto ran upstairs and grabbed his extra set of weighted wrist and ankle bands. Quickly performing the jutsus that would allow him to set the weight, he tapped each band and made it weigh a pound each. Really light, but the perfect amount to start Hermione on. He ran downstairs again, a smile on his face.

"Hermione, I want you to wear these. Don't worry, they only weigh a pound each. If you wear these, they should help you to build up your stamina and strength. They'll also keep you from speeding up and force you to focus on the fluidness of your movements. Itachi will also probably start all of the girls with this amount of weight so you might as well get an idea of what it'll be like." Hermione smiled as she pulled on the weights. When she went through the stances again, she was surprised at how much of a difference it made. They really didn't weigh much but they quickly wore her down. She was panting by the time she finished all five.

"This is hard. The weights really make a difference." Naruto smiled as he nodded. "That's true, but that's a good thing. You'll be surprised at how much of a difference they can make. Oh shoot. We have to go. Stupid toad lady. Come on Harry, we better get going. We should change into our robes so she can't complain. You guys keep going for a while. Kiba will tell you when you can stop." Naruto smiled and ran upstairs to change back into his robes. He watched Ron and Hermione while Harry changed. "Ron, you're doing pretty well. Your movements have gotten better, they're less awkward and more graceful. Keep it up. Well see you guys later."

Harry stretched his arms and back as they walked, surprised at how sore he felt. He had only been practicing for a little more than an hour and he felt worse then when he had practiced Quidditch for three hours straight. "Hermione's really good. You and Ron are bad either, especially for beginners. Some advice for Kakashi's class. Practice what you learn there every morning and night. It'll pay off in the long run. He'll probably tell us to practice anyway as homework. Stupid toad shouldn't be a teacher. She's going to get us killed with the naive thinking that knowing how to do something will make us able to do it."

Harry couldn't help but wonder what type of life Naruto had, but he would question it later. Now they were standing in front of Umbridge's classroom. Entering the room, he shuddered as he took in the lace and flowers. It was really ugly. Naruto wanted to light the room on fire, but resisted the urge with Kyuubi's help. "Take a seat and write out the sentence on top of the scroll. I'll tell you when to stop. Use the quills that are on the table." Naruto sat down and picked up the quill, starting to write out the sentence that was written out at the top. He growled as he read what it said. '_I am a child that will listen to what I am told. I do not know what I am talking about.' _Harry's said something different, but Naruto didn't really pay attention to what it said.

He focused on the back of his hand, watching in amusement as the sentence was carved into the back of his hand. It really didn't hurt that much, so he decided to pick up the speed at which he wrote. His hand began to fly across the parchment, and after ten minutes of steady writing, he had filled the entire scroll with his sentence. Bored, he pulled out another roll of parchment and began to write the same thing again, this time making it as tiny as he possible could. He glanced up to see Harry gritting his teeth in pain and anger. He really didn't blame him, it probably really did hurt but Naruto had built up a high tolerance for pain.

Harry was pissed. He had to write the stupidest sentence using his own blood as ink. To make it worse, the words were carved into the back of his hand over and over as he continued to write. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he continued to write, wondering how much longer he would have to write.

Naruto watched in amusement as the words were cut deeper and deeper into his hand, he could nearly see some of his bones. 'Kyu-nee, don't heal my hand tonight. I want to show 'Tachi. He won't confront her directly but I'm pretty sure he'll scare her. Now, how much longer do we have to keep writing, I'm starting to get bored.' **'Kit, you do know what you have to do. You have to prank her now. Let's combine some of the ideas you have in that book of yours. Those will just be warm ups.' **Naruto smiled as he mentally nodded his head. Really bored, he switched hands and began to write the sentences out with his left hand. He didn't even flinch as the words began to be carved into the back of his left hand. He finished filling his second roll of parchment and pulled out a third one, deciding to practice his cursive on this roll.

After a total hour of writing sentences, Umbridge stood up and walked over to them. She examined the back of Harry's hand before she nodded. "That looks good enough. Only another six nights. You can leave now." Harry was all but happy to flee the room, but he waited for Naruto at the door. He was shocked when he saw the three rolls of parchment he had written on. Umbridge looked shocked when she examined Naruto's hands. She could see some of the bones in both of his hands. "You can go. Come back tomorrow with Mr. Potter. You'll have to finish your week with him." Naruto gave her a smile before he left.

Once he was sure they were out of earshot, he grabbed Harry's hand and began to examine it. "The toad is really mean. Kiba probably has some ointment from Hinata-chan that you can put on this. Let's hurry up and get back, your hand must hurt a lot." Harry nodded, but he grabbed Naruto's hands so he could examine them. He was shocked at how deep both of them had been carved into. "My hand my hurt, but yours must be hell. Why the hell didn't you stop writing?" Harry could feel his anger building.

Naruto sighed as he tugged Harry down the hall. "I have a high tolerance for pain, so don't worry. Besides, I plan on paying her back later. Let's just get through her detentions and not get another one with the ugly toad." Harry nodded as he stepped through the portrait hole. He was surprised to see that nearly half of the Gryffindors were practicing the stances that Naruto had taught him earlier. Kiba grinned as he walke over. "The twins asked if I could teach them and I said I would show anyone that wanted to learn. Didn't expect this many. How was your detention?"

Naruto growled as he held up Harry's hand. "The ugly toad had us write sentences using our blood as ink. I ended up switching hands because I was bored out of my mind." Naruto held up his hands to shoe Kiba, who growled deep in his throat as he bared his teeth. "She'll be paying for that. Wait here, I'll go and grab some of Hinata-chan's ointment. It'll fix your hands up in no time. Naruto, can you correct their stances while I get it?" Naruto nodded as Kiba trotted upstairs. "Harry, go ahead and start practicing yours again. It should help take your mind off of the pain."

Harry nodded as he started to go through his stances, not really caring that he was still wearing his robes. Five minutes later, Kiba came back down with a small jar of ointment and a roll of bandages. He had Harry sit down as he carefully rubbed the cream into the back of his hand. Harry was surprised when his hand immediately stopped hurting. Kiba expertly wrapped his hand, giving the knot one final pull before he patted Harry on the back. "That should stop the pain and help it heal pretty quickly. If you have to do the same thing for the rest of the week then it won't heal fully until probably two days after your last detention." "Thanks Kiba."

"Alright, that's enough. Practice for ten minutes every morning after you get up and before you go to bed. Stretch before you go to sleep or you'll be sore when you wake up." Naruto stood on top of a table as he barked his orders. Most didn't want to stop, but they didn't want to anger the blonde and have him stop teaching them. Hermione smiled as she wiped the sweat from her face. Her limbs felt like jello but she was feeling good. It had been relaxing going through the same motions over and over again.

"Naruto, how was your detention?" Naruto plopped himself down into a chair as he pouted. "It sucked. The toad had us write sentences using our own blood as ink. My hands don't really hurt since I have a high tolerance for pain, but Harry's hand is probably hurting him a lot. Oh, hi 'Tachi." Naruto waved at Itachi who had just walked through the portrait hole. Hermione gasped in shock as she saw the backs of Naruto's hands. "Itachi-sensei, come and look at Naruto's hands." Hermione grabbed one of Naruto's hands to take a closer look, horrified at how deep the words were carved into his flesh.

Itachi walked over to Naruto grabbing his other hand to examine it. His blood started to boil as he read the words that had been carved over and over into his flesh. "Naru-chan, how did this happen?" Itachi kept his voice controlled, but Naruto still heard the anger in it. Naruto merely smiled up at him as he chirped in a happy voice. "I had detention with the ugly toad, Umbridge. She had me and Harry write sentences using our blood for ink. I was really bored so I decided to see how much I could write before she told us we could go. I wrote two whole rolls full and half of a third." Naruto could hear Kyuubi howling with laughter in the back of his mind.

Naruto wanted to laugh too when he saw Itachi's face darken in rage. The ugly toad was really going to get it. Naruto smiled as held up his arms for Itachi to pick him up. Itachi lifted him up before he sat down with him in his lap. Naruto smiled as he curled up and rested his head against Itachi's chest. He didn't know why, but he had been really sleepy lately. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, Naruto closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Itachi growled low in his throat as he gently stroked Naruto's back. "Kiba, can I see those bandages. Naruto would probably get angry if I were to use any of Hinata's ointment." Kiba nodded as he tossed Itachi his roll of bandages. "You better tell Iruka some story as to why his hands are wrapped up. He would probably kill the toad if he saw Naruto's hands." Itachi chuckled darkly as he carefully wrapped both of Naruto's hands. Kyuubi was probably not healing them since she didn't want to draw any more attention to Naruto.

Itachi sat in silence as he contemplated several ways he could torment the DADA teacher without being caught. He would definitely make the woman pay for what she did to Naruto, he would make sure of it. Itachi chuckled again as he imagined the look of fear on her face. He would tell Iruka personally what she had done to Naruto. Sure, Iruka would probably want to kill the woman, but he would talk him out of giving her such a courtesy. Itachi was also sure that Iruka knew several pranks that would make her miserable. He had taught Naruto after all. Itachi fell asleep in his chair with an evil smile on his lips.

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A/N: I suck at fight scenes if you can't tell. If I have time, I'll try to look up correct terms and the like. I'll also try to improve the future fight scenes. Pranks will be in the next chapter. Quick question. Should Iruka and Itachi team up to prank (cough traumatize cough) Umbridge? Let me know what you think. I'm really sorry about not updating. I will not abandon this story. Hopefully the next update will be in a week. I'll try to sneek on and update as soon as I can so please be patient. 


	13. Let the Pranks Begin

Summary: Naruto wakes Sasuke up by screaming in his ear. At breakfast, he learns that Itachi won't be able to stay with him during the morning. Finds out that Iruka is the new HoM teacher and plans punishment for Kakashi for making Iruka late. Naruto gets a week worth of detention with Harry during DADA, stupid evil toad must pay. Naruto summons Gamabunta during CoMC and regains some of his memories. At lunch, Itachi refuses to tell Naruto what class he is teaching so Naruto swears revenge. Poor Itachi. Kakashi shows up early to class thinking he is late to his first class, so funny you knew it had to happen. Naruto and Kakashi have a spar next to the lake as a demonstration for the class after they both recover from shock. After dinner, Naruto shows Harry, Ron, and Hermione the basic stances of taijutsu with Kiba's help. Goes to detention with Harry. Itachi plots painful ways to make the evil toad suffer when he sees Naruto's hands. Itachi plots revenge as he drifts to sleep with Naruto curled in his lap. Oo What will Naruto do for revenge? Yes, the pranks are finally coming.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, extreme humor in this chapter, grammer mistakes since my computer hates me and won't spell check but I think I caught most of the mistakes.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Possible Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune. I might do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it probably won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Thank you for your reviews. Must burn school. **Important note at bottom, must read. **Sorry for the delayed upload, stupid computer was having problems.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_"This is a note, pass it on." --notes, letters, written things, etc..._

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Chapter Thirteen: Let the Pranks Begin**

Naruto woke up slowly, his mind still fuzzy with the rest of his memories. He even knew that Malfoy had hit him with a spell, causing the whole mess. Naruto sighed as he looked up at Itachi's sleeping face. It was still pretty early so no one had come downstairs to see the proud Uchiha asleep. Grinning, Naruto carefully slid out of Itachi's grasp and onto the floor. He still wasn't finished with Itachi's prank, but that didn't mean he couldn't torment him.

Smiling slightly, Naruto quietly snuck upstairs and slipped into the dormitory. Kiba shifted in his sleep as he opened his trunk, but Naruto didn't really pay attention. Opening one of the many compartments, he pulled out all that he would need for a little bit of pranking mayhem. Smirking, he changed into a pair of shrunken robes stashing his supplies on various places of his person. Naruto shut his trunk and locked it before he left, waking no one.

In the common room, Naruto had to hold his breath and suppress his chakra to nothing in order to sneak out. Once out in the halls, Naruto allowed himself to grin his patent fox-like smile. He needed to be quick if he wanted to accomplish everything. 'Kyu-nee, do you know where I can find Itachi's personal rooms?' **'Kit, do you really think you should be doing this? If you're gonna prank, do it big not something as small as this.' **'I know, but if I pull a small prank now 'Tachi will be caught of guard when I pull the big ones.' **'Kit, you're actually smarter than I thought. Okay, keep walking. You need to go down three floors and head towards the lake.' **

Following Kyuubi's directions, Naruto stopped in front of a portrait of a sleeping dragon. Naruto had to bite back a giggle as he saw something pink peaking between the dragon's claws. Choking on his laughter, Naruto quickly teleported into the room after making sure that no one saw him. In the room, Naruto snuck into the bathroom avoiding all of the traps that Itachi had set. Snickering, he quickly added neon orange dye to Itachi's shampoo and conditioner. Next, he grabbed the toothpaste and using a syringe, he injected some green dye into the tube. If Itachi brushed his teeth, it would make them look a moldy green. Smiling at his handy work, Naruto went back into the main room.

'Kyu-nee, should I do anything else? I want to set up a few other pranks before I go and wake Itachi up.' **'Kit, don't do anything else right now. I have an idea of my own that I want to try later on the ugly toad. Now, hurry up if you plan on doing something to Kakashi.' **Nodding, Naruto silently left the room the same way he had entered. Luckily, no one was in the hall and the portrait was still sleeping soundly. Naruto wanted to dye Kakashi's hair, but he didn't want Iruka to get caught in the trap so he decided against the dye. No, he would give Kakashi a new look, all he had to do was sneak into the Great Hall and plant a little tag on Kakashi's chair.

The tags planted successfully, Naruto decided to grab a cup of coffee and a plate of syrup drenched waffles. Carefully, he brought them back upstairs to the Gryffindor common room and managed to sneak back in without waking Itachi. Snickering quietly, Naruto placed the dishes on the floor and quickly built a staircase using books that had been left out the night before. Picking the plates up again, he forced himself to have a look of concentration as he climbed up the books.

At this point, Itachi started to wake up. Seeing him blink his eyes open, Naruto pretended to lose his balance on the final step. He allowed the plate of waffles to fly on top of Itachi's head, the cup of luke warm coffee spilling all over his lap as a look of absolute horror spread across his face. Naruto fell down for real, landing in a heap with the books piled around him. Itachi was glaring daggers at him, his hair sticky as waffles and syrup began to trickle into his lap to join the coffee.

"Naruto." Itachi spoke his name in a deadly whisper, promising much pain. Naruto took this as his que to turn on the water works. Poking out a quivering bottom lip, he made his eyes as large as he could. Within moments, he had tears pouring down his cheeks as he began to tremble. Naruto resisted the urge to smirk as he saw Itachi's expression soften. Kicking it up a notch, Naruto spoke in a stuttering and small voice. "I..I..I'm sor... sorry 'Tachi. I... I wa... wanted t...to get you br...break...breakfast. I di..didn't... mean t...to." Naruto added the final touch by crying in full force.

Itachi groaned as he heard Naruto stutter. Sighing, he felt his anger disappear as he stared into watery blue eyes. Even if Naruto was a ninja, he had just been turned into six year old and he still wasn't in full control of his body. "It's okay Naru-chan. I'll go and take a shower. Now, be good and take the dishes back downstairs and eat your breakfast." Itachi patted Naruto on the head as he stood up and left the common room, not wanting anyone to see him. Naruto smirked as he quickly cleaned up the mess he had made, returning all of the books to were he found them before he went back downstairs with the plate and cup. Itachi hadn't even noticed the blonde taking several pictures.

Naruto was sitting in Iruka's lap when Itachi stormed into the hall, his hair a brighter shade of orange than his old jumpsuit. No one was foolish enough to laugh when they saw the murderous look on his face. Naruto took another few pictures before he hid his camera. He even caught a few with Itachi showing his moldy green teeth. Iruka nearly choked on his eggs when he saw Itachi. Once his throat was clear, he called the younger man over. "Itachi-san." Itachi turned when his name was called, when his eyes fell on Naruto, his face became even deadlier as he stalked over to them.

Naruto made sure that nothing in his appearance betrayed his amusement as he looked up at Itachi with wide, innocent eyes. "What happened to your hair 'Tachi-nii?" Itachi growled as he bared his teeth, causing Iruka to once again choke, but this time it was on his coffee. "Naruto, what did you do to my things?" Naruto tilted his head as he changed his expression to one of confusion. "What do you mean Nii-san? I don't know where your room is. I thought you were staying in the same house as Sasuke-teme." Naruto wrinkled his nose as he pretended to think hard.

Itachi was not happy at all. Not only did Naruto spill syrup into his hair, but he had also spilled coffee all over him. But he couldn't blame the blonde for the dye since he had no proof. He was about to question the blonde further when he saw Naruto's eyes shoot wide open. "Ne, did Peeves dye your hair and teeth? He likes to pick on the new people. He tried to pick on me when I first came here, but I pulled a prank on him and he's left me alone since. But that was when I was six." Itachi slowly started to calm down. If it wasn't Naruto then it had to be Peeves since the dragon that guarded the entrance to his room hadn't been woken up by someone trying to sneak in or out of the room.

Naruto nearly burst out laughing when Itachi's face began to lose its deadly look. **'You are so evil. Kit, I'm proud of you. You are most certainly part fox; you're definitely sly and tricky enough to be one.' **Naruto hid a small smile as he heard Kyuubi cackling in the back of his mind. "Iruka-sensei, do you still have that dye remover that I gave you?" Iruka looked down at Naruto, blinking as it hit him. Iruka could only shake his head; the boy really outdid himself this time. "Yeah, I think I even have it with me. I'll give it to you later Itachi when I find it. You can't use it until at least two days after your hair was died, otherwise it'll only make it another color." Itachi sighed as he ran a hand through his orange spikes.

"Thanks Iruka-san. If I find out who did this, I'll make sure that they'll have nightmares every time they even see a bathroom." Itachi chuckled evilly as he left to see if he could repair the damage to his teeth. As soon as he was out of the Great Hall, Iruka looked down at the smirking blonde. "Alright Naruto, please tell me that's all you did this morning." Naruto couldn't contain himself anymore, laughing hard as he looked up at his former teacher. "I thought you knew me better than that Iruka-sensei. Of course that's not all. Besides, that was only a practice run. I have something much worse in store for him later on." Iruka shuddered as Naruto jumped down from his lap and gave a cheerful wave good-bye as he ran over to join Kiba who was on the floor laughing like a lunatic.

Naruto smiled when Kiba quieted down long enough to choke out a question. "How did you do that? You would have had to bleach his hair first to dye it that color." Naruto smirked as the twins nodded in agreement. "Now why should I tell you? Oh, wait, watch Kakashi-sensei." Naruto managed to pull Kiba up in time for him to see Kakashi sit down. As soon as Kakashi's hand reached for a glass, he was surrounded by a cloud of pinkish smoke. When the smoke cleared, his hair was a blend of neon pink, purple, and lime green. His face mask was a shocking shade of yellow and the bandana that covered his left eye was a hideously bright shade of magenta with the word pervert written in big gold letters.

Sadly for Kakashi, that wasn't the full extent of the damage, his shirt had been shrunk so that it was skin tight and it was checkered pink and purple the same color as his hair. His loose black pants had only the color changed, but it was a mixture of green and purple making it look like vomit. To finish the look off, his skin had been stained a sickly looking pale green. The Great Hall was deathly silent as the students watched Kakashi blink his single eye slowly. Naruto smiled as Iruka stared in awe at his handy work. Naruto himself was proud, a true master piece in the art of pranks.

Kiba was once again howling with laughter, only this time Naruto and the twins joined him in rolling around on the floor. Kakashi stood up and calmly walked over to the group of laughing boys. He stopped as he bent down to hover above them. In a calm and quiet voice, Kakashi questioned Naruto. "Naruto, did you do this?" Naruto stopped laughing long enough to snap a few pictures and answer. "I did Kakashi-sensei. That was for making Iruka-sensei late Ero-sensei. I warned you didn't I? You're lucky though, I let you off light." Naruto snapped another couple of pictures at Kakashi's stunned face. "You'll be stuck like that for two days. Even if you change clothes, they'll just change into the same thing, but the colors might be a little different."

Fred and George stood up and began to examine the still stunned Kakashi. "Naruto, this is a true master piece. I don't even think we could manage this. Fred, you know what this means." "Yes George. We have finally found someone worthy enough to be our rival. Kiba let us discuss the rules tonight. Fill Naruto in on the details sometime before then." Kiba nodded as the twins walked off, their heads together as they began to brainstorm pranks they could pull that would top the ones they had just witnessed.

_"Kiba, if this is going to be a prank war, then it is only fair that you be on their side. What I did this morning was child's play. I'll come up with some fair rules and I'll talk to Iruka-sensei to see if he'll act as one of three judges." _Kiba nodded dumbly as Naruto ran over to cuddle with Gaara. By now, the Great Hall was alive with chatter as the students began to think up wild stories on how their two new teachers had gotten their new looks. Each theory was crazier then the last.

Kakashi snapped out of his daze as what Naruto had said registered in his mind. Regaining his composure, he left a snickering Kiba so he could have a talk with his lover concerning a former student of his. If Naruto considered this child's play, he seriously didn't want to experience some of his more complex pranks. Iruka chuckled as he watched Kakashi walk towards him. Naruto had actually done Kakashi a favor by shrinking his shirt since it showed off his well muscled chest and stomach. Iruka blushed faintly as he started to think a few perverted thoughts. Kakashi had really rubbed off on him more than he was willing to admit.

Gaara was stunned as Naruto cuddled him like a stuffed bear as he giggled. He not only managed to get Itachi, but he also pranked his teacher in the same hour. Sasuke also looked shocked, but it was quickly wearing off as he started to laugh. Naruto had pulled out a camera and snapped pictures of all of their shocked faces, hiding it away again before anyone could respond. He pulled his camera out again and took a picture of Sasuke as he finally allowed a smile to slip past his expressionless mask. Gaara shook his head as Naruto tucked his camera away again. The blonde really was a mastermind when it came to pranks.

Sasuke was stunned, but he couldn't hold back his laughter as he finally comprehended the sight of his brother with neon orange hair and green teeth. It had to be the one of the funniest things he had ever seen in his life. Kakashi's new look made Itachi look stylish in comparison. He had a funny feeling that Naruto had used nothing but a few things in order to pull both pranks off. If this was simple child's play for the blonde, Sasuke had a sinking feeling that his next pranks would be 'troublesome' to quote Shikamaru. Sasuke smirked as he pulled out a camera of his own and took a quick picture of Naruto's smiling face. He wouldn't try to stop the blonde if it made him this happy. An idea began to slowly form in his mind as he continued to watch Naruto giggle as he gave Gaara, Haku, Temari, Shino, and Kankurou a brief explanation of what he did to Kakashi.

Naruto skipped over to the Hufflepuff table as students began to leave for class. He smiled when he saw Hinata petting Akamaru. "Ohayou Hinata-chan. Guess what?" Hinata smiled down at Naruto as he bounced next to her. "What Naruto-kun?" "I got my memories back. I think they came back each time I slept. Hey, did Baa-chan come up with a way to change me back yet?" Hinata smiled sadly as she shook her head. "I'm sorry Naruto-kun but she hasn't found a way to change you back to normal yet. We're still trying to figure out what you put in your potion." Naruto smiled as he grabbed her hand and started to drag her outside. "That's okay. I've been thinking about what happened and I think I've come up with a way to change me back, but I won't be able to change back until Halloween since it'll take a while for the potion to brew."

"Yosh. Even when you are small the Flames of Youth burn brightly..." Lee's speech was cut off as a book flew and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out cold. Sakura smiled as she picked her boyfriend up. "Sorry about that. I've been trying to break him of his habit of screaming like Gai. I'm not even going to hold my breath in trying to get him to stop." Hinata giggled as Sakura gave her boyfriend a loving yet annoyed look. "Sakura-chan, can you send a letter to Baa-chan and ask her to come by tonight. I think I found a way to change me back but I want to make sure with Baa-chan. I don't want to be turned into a baby next, or worse an old man."

Naruto shuddered, trying to block out the mental images he was getting. Sakura giggled, nodding her head before she left, dragging Lee with her. It looked like he would be spending the morning in the hospital wing. Herbology passed quickly, the class was just as fascinating to Naruto as it had been the first time. In Diniviation, Naruto kept making funny faces at Professor Trelawney behind her back, causing Ron, Harry, and Kiba to snicker. Whenever she looked over at them, they would pretend to do their work. Of course this put her in a bad mood and they were assigned to predict what would happen to them for the next month.

Naruto ran through the halls, avoiding students as he weaved his way through the crowds. He reached Professor McGonagall's room in record time, a huge smile plastered on his face as he held up several scrolls for her to take. "I finished the project plans and details Professor McGonagall. Can we have free time while you go over my ideas?" Professor McGonagall opened up one of the scrolls and started to read what was written in it, she had only read for a few minutes before she set it down on her desk and stared at Naruto in awe. "Yes, I'll let you guys have a free period while I read these. Now, go and take your seat, class is about to start." Naruto smiled as he skipped over to sit next to Kiba who was talking to Ron about Quidditch.

"Class, today we will be doing nothing since I have to read a few scrolls. So you have a free period and no homework. Don't talk too loud, and no magic unless you are practicing a spell for a class. I don't want to be disturbed, so behave unless you want a detention." Professor McGonagall hid a smirk as she turned to sit down and pulled the stack of scrolls towards her. Picking up one, she found it labeled. Smiling, she dug through the pile until she found the one labeled fifth years. Opening it, she began to read, her eyes growing wider and wider at all of the details and thought put into it. The project not only forced students to have an understanding of the basic principles of Transfiguration, it also had students learn some of the effects that Charms and Potions had on it.

"Naruto, come here for a moment." Looking up, Naruto reluctantly put away his prank book and walked up to Professor McGonagall's desk. "Yes." She smiled as she handed him a note that was sealed. "I want you to give this to Professor Snape when you go to your Potions class today. I also have a note that I want you to give to Professor Flitwick when you see him tomorrow in Charms. I'll give you that note at the end of class. And Naruto, three hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor. Your project ideas are amazing." Naruto blushed at the praise he was being given, but he smiled as he pocketed the note. "I'll give him the note Professor. Do you have any questions about my ideas?" "No, but do you mind if I share these with Professor Dumbledore?" Naruto shook his head. "I don't mind, but don't tell any of your other students that I came up with the ideas. When I've left the school, you tell them all you want about me." "Deal. You can go back to your seat now."

Hermione looked up from the homework she was doing as Naruto sat down next to her. "What did Professor McGonagall want?" Naruto smiled as he pulled out his book again. "She wanted to give me a note to give to Professor Snape. Guess what, I got a lot of points for Gryffindor because of my project ideas. I think we'll start on our project next week." Hermione's eyes widened in shock before a smile made its way onto her face. "Can you tell me about it? It would be so cool to be able to transform into an animal." Naruto smiled as he continued to scribble notes into his book, perfecting the prank he would play on Itachi for revenge. He still had Umbridge's prank and he had to write up the rules for the prank war.

Naruto put his sketch book away as an idea came to him. Pulling out a blank piece of parchment, he quickly scribbled a note on it before he passed it to Hermione. _Hermione, do you like pranks? If you do, would you be willing to act as a judge in a prank war? _She read the note quickly before she scribbled on it herself, a small smile tugging at her lips. She handed it to him and he quickly read what it said. _I love pranks, just don't tell Ron or Harry. They would never stop teasing me about it. I really don't want to be a judge if others would find out. _Naruto smiled, scribbling another note underneath hers. _Okay, but would you help me write up the rules? And I need help choosing the third judge. Iruka and Dumbledore would be perfect for the first two judges. We also need a way to score the pranks. _

Hermione smiled, scribbling one last note before the bell rang. She handed it to him before she started to pack away her things. Naruto smiled when he read it. _I'll help you write the rules and I'll think about the judge. And as for how to grade the pranks, why not rank them or something. We could rank the prank by what is used, the time it took to set it up, and how much risk was involved. It would also be wise to make a method as to how the targets are selected. But Umbridge is definitely on the list. Come with me to the library after classes._

Naruto nodded, tucking the note away into his bag before he ran up to Professor McGonagall and took the note she had for Professor Flitwick. It was time for lunch and he wasn't going to miss out on eating if there was going to be ramen.

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A/N: This is the last update I will be able to make until Winter Break. I have been banned from the internet until then, and the only time I will be allowed on is if I have research to do. Stupid school, must burn it down. The good news is that I will be able to type so when I am allowed on the internet again, I can hopefully upload at least five chapters or so if not the rest of the story. I look forward to your reviews and thank you for reading. I will continue this story even if it takes me a few years, hopefully it doesn't. 


	14. Traumatizing of Minds

Summary: Naruto regains the rest of his memories and is ready to take his revenge. He sneeks out of the Gryffindor common room and sets a trap in Itachi's private rooms after some help from Kyuubi in finding the room. He also booby traps Kakashi's chair before he brings some breakfast to Itachi. At breakfast Naruto's pranks are revealed, giving Kakashi a new outfit and dying Itachi's hair neon orange. Sasuke laughs, _the horror_. Naruto gives McGonagall his project plans and spends Transfiguration passing notes with Hermione. The beggining of the prank war is in the making. What will Hermione and Naruto think of for the war? And who is this new teacher? X3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, extreme humor in this chapter, grammer mistakes since my computer hates me and won't spell check but I think I caught most of the mistakes. And mental trauma to some characters, but nothing that should cause them to go insane and go on a mass murdering rampage.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune (just have to figure out how it will work, probably won't be a major part of the story, or I'll make their pairing a side story, still thinking on it). I will do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews. I won't blab here, but be sure to read the note at the bottom. This story is not being discontinued, I'm just going to have a really hard time uploading as fast as I want to. Cookies to all of my faithful readers and reviewers.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_This is a note, pass it on. --notes, letters, written things, etc..._

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**Chapter Fourteen: Traumatizing of Minds**

Naruto decided to sit with Kiba at lunch. He ignored everything and everyone as he happily slurped bowl after bowl of Ramen. He soon had several stacks of empty bowls around him, piled at least fifteen bowls high. More than a few people were watching him eat, a mixture of horror, awe, or amusement on their faces. Very few saw the sight as amusing.

Naruto stopped eating when there was fifteen minutes left before lunch ended. He groaned when he realized he didn't have his potions book. "Ne, Kiba. What's the password again?" "Gamabunta. Apparently one of the prefects had seen him and changed the password." "Thanks Kiba, see you in Potions." Naruto ran from the Hall, going faster then several people thought possible. He barely made it down to the dungeons and into the class before the bell rang. He sat by Neville again, smiling brightly when Snape entered the room. He may not have liked Snape personally, but the class was interesting.

"Today we will be making a simple Calming Draught. The directions are on the board. You will be turning in samples at the end of class and we'll be testing them next class." Snape watched from the front of the class as his students gathered their ingredients. "Neville, you grab the ingredients. I have to give a note to Professor Snape." Neville nodded, feeling guilty about what had happened with the last potion he had made.

"Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall wanted me to give you this note." Naruto had to stand on tip toe to see over the desk. He handed the note to Snape before he returned to his seat with Neville. Opening the note, he read it. He read it another four times before he pulled out a quill and scribbled a note for McGonagall. The project she had in mind was not only interesting, but it also tested the skill level of his students. "Uzumaki, I want you to take this note to Professor McGonagall." "Hai Sensei." Naruto slid off of his stool, turning to speak to Neville before he went to the front of the class.

"Remember Neville, think of it as cooking. Ignore everyone else and you should be fine. Your last potion would have turned out perfect if you hadn't been so nervous." Naruto gave him an encouraging smile before he skipped over to take the note from Snape. "I want you back here in less than fifteen minutes, do you understand?" "Yes." Naruto walked out of the class, knowing that it would take more than fifteen minutes to go to the Transfigurations class and back. That was if you were a normal student, but since Naruto was a ninja it was easy. He ran, reaching the classroom in a record breaking five minutes.

"Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape wanted me to give you this." Taking the note, she opened it and read it carefully, raising an eyebrow before she scribbled a note and pulled out his project plans. Taking out seven scrolls of blank parchment, she used a spell to copy what he had wrote. She labeled everything before she handed it to him. "You better hurry if you don't want to be yelled at." "Hai." With a little difficulty, Naruto ran back to the dungeons, reaching the classroom with seconds to spare. He dropped the pile of scrolls into Snape's hands, the note lying on top of the stack.

Naruto went back to sit next to Neville, giving the timid boy a reassuring smile. Snape spent the rest of the class reading over the project plans, his face twitching as he fought to hide any and every emotion he may have felt. By the end of class, everyone had managed to make a decent potion and Naruto had gently guided Nevilled through theirs, doing almost nothing besides reading the directions and offering advice. Neville had a huge smile when he left Potions that afternoon, his confidence in his potion making abilities having gone up.

Naruto headed straight for the kitchens as soon as class was over, knowing that he would need all the time he could get to make Tsunade her cookies. He gave the house elves his recipes after they promised that they would tell no one. He was thankful for their help since he really needed it and he didn't want to risk getting caught by doing a kage bunshin. For the next four hours he made batch after batch of cookies, a large group of house elves helping him while the others prepared dinner. By the time they were done, they had made over four hundred dozen cookies.

He packed away three fourths of them in labeled boxes before shrinking all of them and putting them in another box which he shrunk and stuck inside a bag. He left the bag in a corner of the kitchen, telling them that he would pick it up later. Thanking the house elves for their help, he told them to enjoy the rest of the cookies and that he would be back another time to make more. He refused to let them thank him for his kindness, telling them that he was more than happy to give the cookies to them and that it showed how thankful he was for their help. He made his way to the Great Hall to grab something to eat before heading to his detention with Dumbridge.

He decided to sit in Dumbledore's lap to talk with him. He didn't know when or if Tsunade would show up and wanted to ask him. "No, I don't know when she will be coming but she did say that she would be coming tonight around dinner time and that she would be bringing someone to assist Itachi with his classes in the mornings since Kakashi is chronically late." Naruto grinned as he looked over at the still colorful Kakashi. "Then, I can give her her cookies and I'll still have my ramen." Dumbledore smiled at the small blonde before he turned to speak with McGonagall. She was practically babbling as she talked about the project ideas that a student had given her, and by the way she was looking at Naruto in awe, he could guess who the student was.

The doors to the Great Hall slammed opened to reveal two very angry woman, one blonde and the other with black hair. Naruto eeped softly as he took in blazing red and golden brown eyes. He knew who both were and had seen what happened when they were angry. His sense for self-preservation kicking in, Naruto slid out of Dumbledore's lap and ran across the hall, jumping into Tsunade's arms as soon as he was close enough. She caught him and her eyes softened momentarily before they were once again flashing with anger. "I made cookies. Lots of cookies for you and Shizune-nee and Ibiki-san and Zabuza-san and Gai and Asuma and..." "I'll share Naruto so you can breathe now. Have you been good for Itachi?" Naruto grinned innocently and Tsunade sighed as she felt a huge headache coming on.

"Kakashi-sensei was early to class. But he made Iruka-sensei late, stupid pervert." Naruto began to mumble darkly as Tsunade carried him to the Head table. When Tsunade appeared, Iruka, Itachi, and Kakashi stood at attention. "Relax, I'm not here to kill any of you. Itachi, meet Anko. Anko, meet Itachi. You'll be working together. If you don't like it, well I really don't care." Naruto peeked over Tsunade's shoulder to look at Anko, remembering her from the chunin exams. "You're the pretty lady from the chuunin exams." Anko blushed slightly at the compliment before giving a slight giggle. Even though he was still a loud brat, he looked cute. "Baa-chan I made you lots of cookies. I'll make more next week or the week after so don't you dare ban ramen. I want you to meet my friends, come with me, please." Naruto slid out of her arms and began tugging on her hand with one of his bandaged ones.

"Naruto, what happened to your hand?" Naruto froze before he tucked his hands behind his back and began to slowly back away. "It's nothing. Just a scratch from Herbology." Thankfully, Iruka was sitting next to Professor Sprout and was able to keep her from saying anything. "Don't. Tsunade-sama is very protective of Naruto, and is especially vicious to those who deliberately harm him." Professor Sprout kept her mouth shut, even though a part of her wanted to see what would happen to the person that had hurt Naruto. "Naruto, who did it?" Naruto crossed his arms and glared, the look causing the majority of the female population to 'aahh' at him, he really did look cute. "I'm not telling." Tsunade growled before sighing in defeat. "Fine, but that person better hope that I never find out. Now, who did you want me to meet?"

Bouncing excitedly, Naruto dragged Tsunade over to the Gryffindor table. "This is Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Neville, Ginny, and Hermione. 'Mione's smart like you, Shizune-nee-chan, Sakura-chan, and Hinata-chan. Wait here, I'll go and get the cookies." Tsunade watched Naruto run out of the Great Hall. Anko had followed her, her curiousity peaked when cookies were mentioned again. "Tsunade-sama, what are these cookies that Naruto keeps talking about?" Tsunade's mouth hung open slightly as a small trickle of drool formed. Sakura answered, having come over to greet her teacher. "Have you ever tried those cookies that she always has?" Anko shook her head, but stopped when she remembered the package of cookies she had been given as well as several others, including Iruka and Kakashi. "Wait, are you talking about the cookies that were sealed in boxes that would only open for a certain person?" Tsunade finally snapped out of her daydream of Naruto's cookies and nodded. "Yes. Naruto made those cookies."

Anko couldn't stop her jaw from hitting the floor. She had to share a box with Ibiki and the two had nearly killed each other fighting over the last one. "I want those cookies." Tsunade's eyes flashed as she released her killer intent, Anko doing the same as the two women tried to stare the other down. "Those cookies are for me." Before they could get into a fight, Naruto came running back in, carrying a box no larger than a shoe box. He didn't notice how quiet the hall was or the waves of killer intent that were rolling off the two women that were locked in a staring contest. Clearing a spot on the table, he enlarged the box and opened it, glad that he had seperated and labeled what box was going to who. Opening two of the smaller boxes, he pulled out two cute little bags and handed one to each of them before turning back to the box and searching through it until he found the box that he had labeled 'Hogwarts'.

He pulled it out as well as the one labeled 'Anko' and then he shrunk the other until it was even smaller than a shoe box, slapping a seal on it that would resize it when removed. Putting it aside, he opened the box he had pulled out and began to pull out the boxes that it contained. He stopped when he had nine. "Here Sakura-chan, these are for you." Sakura couldn't supress the squeal of delight as she took the box that she had been given. Naruto continued to pass out boxes to his friends, handing one to Kiba who was already drooling even as he took it. The twins being exaggerated people, had fell to their knees and kissed the hems of Naruto's robes as they praised his awesome, awe inspiring superiority. Neville had accepted his box with some confusion while Harry and Ron took theirs with dreamy expressions. Ginny gave him a hug as did Hermione, but Naruto noticed the hurt look she had in her eyes. He suddenly remembered that he was suppose to meet her in the library.

"I'm so sorry 'Mione. I forgot that I was going to meet you in the library. Baa-chan threatened to ban ramen if she didn't get any cookies." Hermione smiled, happy that Naruto hadn't deliberately blown her off. She knew him long enough to know that part of his mind was dedicated solely to ramen. "Alright, I forgive you. But, you have to come with me to the library this weekend." Naruto nodded. "I'll be there. Baa-chan, this box is for you to take home. Take off the seal and the box will return to normal." Tsunade nodded, her attention still focused on the bag in her hand as she stared at the cookies within, one already in her mouth. Anko was happily eating her own cookies when she remembered the fight that she had with Ibiki. "Naruto, you are sending some to Ibiki, right?" "Hai. This box is for you. Baa-chan, I've packaged them into individual boxes and labeled them for the person they should go to. And if Shizune-nee-chan says you've been good and did your paperwork, I'll make you my double chocolate deluxe cookies." Tsunade would make Konoha's history as being the first Hokage to ever finish all of their paperwork that they had been given that day, including the work that she was behind in. She would have caught up and finished all of her paperwork just for some cookies.

"Naruto, I'm holding you to that deal." "I never break a promise." Tsunade nodded, a fierce fire burning in her eyes, putting Gai's and Lee's flames of youth to shame. She would do whatever it took to get those cookies, even if it meant giving up her sake for a week and working non-stop to get her paperwork done. Naruto went over to Hufflepuff and gave Lee, Chouji, and Hinata their boxes before he went to Ravenclaw and gave Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru, Ino, and Luna boxes. As soon as Naruto was at the Slytherin table, Tsunade turned to Sakura and Kiba. "Alright, what happened to his hands and you better not tell me that it happened in Herbology." Sakura shrugged, she hadn't heard the full story behind the bandages yet but she had a pretty good idea of what it was.

Kiba snarled viciously as he stabbed his steak. "I don't know how it was done, but he came back with his hands all bloodied after a detention with the toad lady. He had to write lines and the quill that he used carved the words into the back of his hand using his blood as ink. You could see the bone in his right hand and you could also see parts of the bone in his left. Apparently he was bored and switched hands." Tsunade fumed silently, wanting nothing more than to walk up to the staff table and tear the ugly toad's head off. She barely kept her temper in check, a sadistic gleam coming to her eyes. "_Anko, double S-class mission to be carried out by you, Itachi, and Iruka during the duration of this mission. Make Dolores Umbridge as miserable as possible without causing trouble for the students. Torture her slowly and don't get caught. Debrief Iruka and Itachi on the mission. Don't do anything that will make her quit since I will be taking my turn at the end of the school year." _Anko nodded her head as she gave Umbridge a sadistic smile, her eyes gleaming like a wolf's.

At the Slytherin table, Naruto was busy giving Haku, Gaara, Temari, Shino, Kankuro, and Sasuke their boxes. He even gave a small box to Malfoy, who looked like he was going to refuse it until he saw the death glares he was being given by Naruto's very protective friends/family. He shrunk the box and pocketed it, deciding to get rid of it in secret. When Naruto walked up to the Head table, Sasuke stood up and walked over to Malfoy, bending to whisper in his ear. "Toss those cookies away or give them away and I will kill you as slowly and painfully as I can. You will eat them even if they're poisoned." Shivering, Malfoy gave a slight nod and relaxed slightly when Sasuke took his seat. At the Head table, Naruto was handing out boxes of cookies to his favorite teachers, which was nearly all of the teachers that he had. A wet spot on Kakashi's mask revealed that he was drooling behind it. He took the box with gentle hands and set it in his lap. As much as he wanted to eat the delicous cookies inside, he would not take off his mask and wouldn't risk performing a simple genjutsu like he usually did when eating in public to give the illusion that he was still wearing his mask.

Iruka and Itachi both took their boxes with smiles and Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling so brightly that it was nearly blinding. His eyes lit up even more when he saw the small package of sugar cookies that had been decorated with smilie faces made with lemon drops. "Thank you Naruto, these were always my favorite." Naruto gave him a true smile that lit up his blue eyes, causing them to twinkle much like the headmaster's. Naruto continued to give out boxes to his teachers, handing one to Snape last with an uncertain look in his eyes. Snape stared at the box for several minutes until he grudgingly took it after feeling several death glares being sent his way. He opened it and took a quick peek inside, a dreamy expression entering his eyes for a second before disappearing. He had been given double chocolate chip cookies as well as ones that had little chocolate peanut butter cups. They were his favorite types of cookies and he only indulged in eating them when he was in the privacy of his chambers. After all, he had a reputation to maintain and it would be ruined if his students found out that he had a major sweet tooth.

Banishing the empty box back to the kitchen, Naruto took the one box that he had left and went back to Tsunade, holding out his arms to be held as he tried to hide the hurt in his eyes. Umbridge had refused his cookies, glaring at him with hatred that rivaled the cruelest of the villagers. He may not have liked her, okay he really didn't like her, but he was hoping that they could call some kind of truce that would allow them to get along without having to actually be friends. Somewhere in his mind, he realized that he was acting like a six-year old, but he didn't really care since he had been denied the simplest of comfort and affection as a child. Tsunade picked him up and cuddled him close to her with a small smile tracing her lips. Naruto was so small, giving her an overwhelming urge to protect him from the world even more than she already wanted to.

Shifting her grip slightly, she took a seat across from Kiba, Anko sitting next to her as she savored a tiny bite of a cookie, making the morsel last. Naruto gave a huge yawn before he rested his head on her shoulder, his eyes sliding close even as he struggled to stay awake. He was out cold a few minutes later. "Alright Kiba, how has he been adjusting? I can already tell that Itachi and Kakashi have done something." Kiba nodded as he bit back a chuckle. "Well, Itachi had refused to tell Naruto the class he was teaching, saying it was a secret. Naruto pouted at that and ran off, promising revenge. As for Kakashi, I think you can tell what he did if you look at his new outfit." Anko stopped eating her cookies so she could study Kakashi. She broke into a sadistic grin as she turned to Kiba. "Being his perverted self, he did something to make cute little 'Ruka-chan late, or embarass him. I doubt he made him cry otherwise he would be speaking in a really squeaky voice." Tsunade nodded her agreement, giving a small chuckle as she remembered hearing Jiraiya speaking in a high-pitched voice as he tried not to move as much as possible.

"I will never forget hearing Jiraiya talking in that 'school girl squeal' voice. He wasn't able to walk for a week." Kiba winced at the thought as did many of the other boys that were listening. "I'm afraid to ask, but what happened?" Anko was curious and paid close attention as she waited for Tsunade to answer Kiba's question. "You won't get the exact details since it's my blackmail material after all. But what happened was that Jiraiya, being unusually stupid, said something to make me cry. Unfortunately for him, Naruto found me and comforted me. Two days later, Jiraiya became the victim of a rather unique prank. He was wearing neon orange spandex with green leg warmers, and no matter how hard he tried to take the clothes off or put something over it, it wouldn't work. Also, the spandex was sprayed with some type of pheromone causing all male dogs to be drawn to him as if he was a female in heat. Some were very persistent as well, following him along the rooftops." Kiba choked on his laughter at the image.

"That only lasted for a day sadly. Then the next day he was talking in a squeaky voice for a week, trying to move as little as possible. I think he walked on his hands if he needed to go somewhere. I still don't know exactly how Naruto did it, but I still can remember the second outfit he was in quite well, and you won't be hearing what that outfit was. Blackmail material only works if no one else knows." Kiba looked slightly disappointed, but it was hard to tell with the huge grin he had. Anko was snickering before her eyes widened in horror slightly. "You have just scarred me for life. I'll never get the image of a neon orange spandex wearing Jiraiya out of my head." Kiba's own eyes widened in horror as well as he realized that as well. "No, that's worse than one of Gai's and Lee's sunset scenes that you're forced to watch for over three hours." Kiba then proceeded to claw at his eyes in only half-hearted fake agony. He would never again be able to look at the Frog Hermit again without picturing him in neon orange spandex.

"Don't think about it and it'll go away. If not, I'm sure we can have Dumbledore obliviate the memory for you." Kiba looked at his leader with hope filled eyes. "Yes, I think that is what we should do. Until then you never said anything, nothing at all." Kiba repeated that like a mantra for nearly ten minutes before he returned to eating like nothing had happened. Sakura rolled her eyes, but she too was mentally scarred from the image. She however, stored the image into the little pocket of her mind that was dedicated to locking away all memories of spandex wearing moments that could have caused serious mental damage. Such as sunset scenes that lasted more than twenty minutes. "So, what are you doing here Tsunade-sensei?" "I came to see Naruto and get my cookies. Had to threaten the banning of ramen to get him to make them." Sakura giggled. "He must have been traumatized at the thought." Tsunade smiled as she looked at the small blonde sleeping in her arms. "Well, he will be happy to know that since he is gone I'm keeping Ichikaru in business by making it a permanent D-rank mission for all ranks to eat there at least once a week. Of course, they only get paid a set amount that usually ends up being the same amount that they spend when eating there. So it's kind of like a free lunch for them."

Kiba shook his head in amusement. "You better remove that before Naruto returns or that will be the only mission he'll take. Well, until he runs out of money to buy ramen, then he would do something else or mooch off of everyone else." Tsunade shuddered at the thought of Naruto making eating ramen his permanent mission. "Good thing it's only a year long one. Anyway, Anko is here to help assist Itachi in the mornings with his classes since Kakashi will forever be chronically late unless threatened by something drastic. And even then, he will barely be on time." "Too true. He never showed up on time for a meeting with Team 7 once. He has been late since the very first day we met. I can't believe we got stuck with him as our tutor. Gai-sensei may have been better on some days." "Like I said, since Kakashi will not be there in the mornings to assist, Anko will help Itachi with the morning classes and will also help in the afternoons. She'll take over for Itachi or Kakashi so one of them can supervise your spars if she doesn't do it herself."

Sakura and Kiba brightened at that bit of information. "Naruto will be happy to hear that. Kakashi sent him flying into the lake by accident. I figure he'll return to normal by Halloween at the latest. So he'll need to adjust to being tiny again. He has all of his memories back, which seems to be a good thing at the moment. For Itachi and Kakashi though, I don't think they are too thrilled." Sakura glanced at the staff table and supressed a giggle. "Iruka looks like he sees the Academy all over again, only it's going to be worse." Anko glanced at the sleeping blonde and smiled in amusement, almost smirking. "Sakura, Naruto is small again and in an enviroment that he spent terrorizing for a week if what I've heard is correct. Of course he's going to slip back into being the Golden Fox. I still remember the number of times that the Professor sent me after Naruto so I could drag him back to his office to get yelled at."

Kiba spat out his pumpkin juice as he stared at Anko with wide eyes. "You mean Naruto's _the_ Golden Fox? The Fox is legendary, a role model for all pranksters in the making. I mean, how could anyone forget seeing all of the clan elders with neon hair and animal ears and tails attached to them. Or the time that the Academy's first floor was sealed shut and flooded with water almost all the way to the ceiling, creating and indoor swimming pool of sorts. I mean, the Fox has pranked nearly everything and everyone. He even pranked the _ANBU_ and their headquarters. Why, I think he even pranked the Council a number of times." Kiba stared at Naruto with what could only be hero worship, his face a perfect mask of awe. Anko grinned at the memories of some of Naruto's more elaborate pranks. Fred and George were staring at Naruto in curiousity.

"Hey, Kiba." "Who is this..." "Fox, that you are..." "talking about?" Kiba stared at Fred and George as if they had just confessed to being closet Death Eaters. "Do you know how you told me about the Marauders and how they were legendary pranksters?" The twins nodded, smiling as they thought about their predecessors. "The Golden Fox is a living legend that has pulled a prank involving every citizen and every building in our village during a five year time period. He pulled a prank every week, sometimes every day. No one has ever seen him or caught him. The only reason we know the pranks were done by the same person was because of his signature, which no one can replicate. He was called the Golden Fox because of his signature, which was a small yellow fox statue that was grinning, a number written on the small little chalk board at it's feet. It was always the number of the prank. The Golden Fox disappeared after he pulled an even one thousand pranks." The twins looked at Naruto in awe, their eyes wide at seeing a living pranking legend.

Sakura sighed, muttering boys, under her breath. Of course Naruto would be the Golden Fox, who else but Naruto would be the Golden Fox. "Is that even possible, to not be caught once?" Kiba turned to Hermione and nodded. "Naruto and I used to compete when we were in the Academy to see who could pull the most pranks without being pinned with the blame. He would always win by at least one, and once, he even got Sasuke blamed for a prank. He was laughing his ass off for a week after seeing the shocked faces when the fan girls found out that their precious Sasuke-kun had broke into the girls' locker room and stuck frogs, mice, and lizards into their lockers." Sakura blushed at the memory, also remembering the chaos that had ensued. Fortunately for the animals, all of them had been captured and released back into the forest. "Kiba, don't forget the fan girl logic of why he had stuck them into our lockers."

Kiba looked at Sakura for a moment before snickering. "That's right, you used to be a Sasuke fan girl along with Ino. I will never understand how Sasuke's fan club came up with the idea that he had done it because he liked one of them and since he didn't know which locker was the girl's he liked, he stuck them into every locker." Kiba snickered again as Sakura's blush grew. "Hey, we were ten. Even Hinata joined the hunt a couple of times after that." Kiba stared at Sakura with wide eyes. "No way. Hinata-chan join the Sasuke fan club in stalking him?" Sakura nodded, her blush slowly disappearing. "She did, and you'll never guess why. She thought that Sasuke had pulled the prank to keep his fan club from turning into a yaoi fan club. She remembered seeing one start for Itachi when he didn't show an interest in girls so his fan club started stalking him even more and trying to hook him up with guys." Kiba's mouth fell open before he started to laugh hard enough to fall out of his seat. Regaining his breath, he weakly climbed to his feet and looked over at the Slytherin table. "Oi, Uchiha. Remember the locker room prank that you got pinned for, and how your fan club turned into rabid fan girl monsters?"

Sasuke paled and shuddered at the memory, resisting the urge to run over to Kakashi and throw himself into his arms and cry. He never wanted to remember that. "Turns out that the Golden Fox was responsible for the prank, and he pinned the blame on you. I think he was also responsible for Itachi-san's fan club turning into something even worse." Itachi paled, horror crossing his face at the memory of his yaoi fan club trying to hook him up with various boys, going so far as to locking him in a small room with some of his more agressive fan boys. At the thought of something even worse than his fan club, Sasuke felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as he fell back in a dead faint, Itachi following shortly after him from the horror of his memories. Anko laughed evilly as an idea struck her. Kiba was turning blue, he was laughing so hard and even Sakura was giggling at seeing the mighty Uchiha brothers faint from the mere mention of their fan clubs. Anko walked up to the staff table where Itachi was slumped over in his chair.

Smirking, she spoke in an amused tone. "Itachi, I wouldn't be sleeping if I were you. You're fan boys are coming with rope and I think I saw one of them carrying a bag of 'supplies'." Itachi shot up out of his chair, and ran straight to the wall where he proceeded to use chakra to climb it until he was clinging to the rafters in the ceiling of the Great Hall. "Keep them away. If you have even a speck of pity in you keep them away." By now the entire hall was staring up at the ceiling in shock, only a few students were laughing, mainly Kiba, the twins, Chouji, and surprisingly enough, Neji. The rest of the Hall was too shocked to react, glancing from the panicking Itachi who was begging for mercy to the unconcious Sasuke who was twitching slightly. Naruto woke up and took a look around before sighing and squirming his way out of Tsunade's arms. Going over to the Slytherin table, he sat next to Sasuke and started poking him. Getting no response, he picked up a pitcher of pumpkin juice and dumped it over his head. Sasuke sat up spluttering, glaring at Naruto through wet bangs.

"The fan girls are gone. Home at the village. Your two former fan girls are happily seeing their current boyfriends. Your brother is having a panic attack on the ceiling from memories of his fan club turned to yaoi fan club. Now, are the horrors of your past repressed enough for you to finish eating your dinner?" Sasuke nodded dumbly, his eyes locked on his brother who was crouched on one of the rafters. His eyes wide and teeth bared as he shook. Naruto nodded and walked over to the staff table, whispering a few words to Dumbledore who nodded and pulled out his wand. He levitated Naruto up to the ceiling so he was perched on the same rafter as Itachi. "They are not here. The yaoi fan club has long since disbanded. They have not reformed with your return, a new one has not been created. The Golden Fox is not cruel enough to turn your current fan club into a yaoi fan club." Itachi slowly calmed down as the hypnotic words soothed his mind.

"Are you calm?" "Yes. When I find the Golden Fox I'm going to cut his balls off before casting a genjutsu on him and handing him over to my fan club." Naruto began to back away, before his face lit up in a grin. He had just found the perfect revenge for Itachi keeping it secret what he was teaching. "Itachi, remember how I said I would get my revenge?" Itachi nodded, his eyes narrowing. "Good. Baa-chan, catch me." Tsunade cursed as she quickly stood and moved towards the staff table. Naruto turned back to Itachi as he stood up and took a few steps back. He smirked, his eyes twinkling brighter than Dumbledore's. "I'm the Golden Fox, and I must say that revenge is definitely sweet." Itachi stared at Naruto wide-eyed for a second before lunging forward. He was too late since Naruto had jumped in his moment of shock. He looked down, watching Naruto grin as he fell and was caught by Tsunade with a soft grunt. Tucked safely in her arms, he smirked triumphantly up at him.

Itachi sat for a moment before leaping off the narrow beam of wood, turning several flips before he cast a cushioning charm at the ground, slowing his fall so he landed lightly on his feet. "You. I'm going to castrate you before I hand you over to my fan club, spelled to look like me. Then, before anything too drastic happens, I'll remove the spell and leave you at their mercy." An insane glint entered his eyes as he stalked forward, his hands twitching at his sides. Anko saw the danger in his eyes and quickly intervened, wrapping her arms around his neck to purr into his ear. "Now now Itachi. Have you learnt nothing from him? His revenge will be soo much worse than what you plan to do to him. Remember, he was responsible for turning your fan club into a demon's worse nightmare." Itachi calmed down, his eyes only holding muderous intent now. Anko smirked before licking his cheek and stepping back. "Besides, you can just torture him in class and he will be unable to do anything in retaliation. Nothing directly or extreme anyway."

Naruto froze for a second before his eyes took on a dangerous look, one that promised untold horrors. Oh yes, he had found new victims. "Don't worry 'Tachi, I'll make sure that your fan club will leave you alone from now on. After all, no true fan club ever breaks apart unless the person of their obsession gets married. Since you obviously aren't gay, I'll just have to find you a wife." The revelation of Naruto's sucess in matchmaking had Itachi's eyes widening in horror, causing Anko to snicker. "Oh don't worry Anko-chan, I'll find you your special someone as well. After all, if I can get Ibiki and Zabuza together, I can find you someone as well." Itachi and Anko clung to each other as they stared at Naruto in complete horror, their eyes full of animalistic terror. Tsunade resisted the urge to cackle evilly, settling with snickering quietly. Naruto looked at them in triumph, his eyes glittering with amusement. Two of Hogwarts soon to be most feared teachers whimpered pathetically as they clung to each other, whimpering even more when Naruto began to chuckle evilly as he rubbed his hands together, his eyes gleaming. Fear swept through the hall, a new evil had been unleashed onto the school, an evil that hadn't been seen since Salazaar Slytherin himself. A match-maker the likes that hasn't been seen since the school's founding would walk the halls of Hogwarts once more.

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A/N: I thank all of my faithful readers for waiting patiently for this update. It is official, school is the ulitmate evil for any author. I've been swamped with so much homework and a handful of projects that it is nothing short of torture. I'm no longer grounded from the internet and my computer, bad grade was the result of that one, but I have almost no time to go on. But, there is hope for me since there is a little more than a month of school left and I hope to upload my entire story during summer break. For now, I'll upload what I can when I can. I have most of my story written out and only need to type out the chapters. I plan on going back and correcting all mistakes in this story once I am done and will upload it under the same title only it will have 'Edited Verion' added to it, but that will be later. But to my faithful reviewers and readers, I give you more cookies and lots of them. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I haven't mentally scarred you for life. I won't make any promises, but I hope to get out at least another chapter or two in the next month. Again, thank you for being patient and I will try my best to get the rest of the chapters out. 


	15. Things Just Got Interesting

Summary: Afer a non-disasterous day of classes, Tsunade once again makes an appearance, but she isn't alone. Anko hhas come with her, and will be teaching classes with Itachi in the morning. Those poor, poor, poor students. Naruto once again makes cookies(drools). The Weasley twins learn of the legendary Golden Fox, and Sasuke and Itachi have flashbacks of the horrors of fanclubs. Last but not least, a new horror is introduced to Hogwarts, a matchmaking chibified Naruto. What will happen this chapter? Will things finally start to get interesting? And what's this about missing green spandex?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune (just have to figure out how it will work, probably won't be a major part of the story, or I'll make their pairing a side story, still thinking on it). I will do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it won't happen until way later in the story.

A/N: I live. I'll babble at the end of the chapter, so enjoy, even if it is on the shorter side.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_This is a note, pass it on. --notes, letters, written things, etc..._

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**Chapter Fifteen: Things Just Got Interesting**

Tsunade walked over to Dumbledore, handing Naruto to Iruka so she could talk to the Headmaster in relative privacy. _"Since Anko is staying here, I've put another in her place in the Order. Maito Gai. Despite his appearance and personality, he can gather information if needed without being caught. He's quite recognizable and will switch with Anko every few weeks so she can gather information herself. I'll warn you now, you made need therapists for the students. He's reletively harmless by himself, but when he and Lee get together, the horrors of the sunset scene are unleashed. You will undoubtedly find the whole thing touching, but it tends to mentally scar children. Just be prepared for an increase in students being sent to the hospital wing from mental trauma."_ Dumbledore chuckled at the thought of a simple reuniting of teacher and student being able to cause mental trauma.

"I will be sure to take the neceassary precautions. Would you care to stay the rest of the week in the guest wing?" Tsunade smiled as she shook her head. "I would love to, you have no idea how much I would love to stay. But sadly, I have a village to run and can't stay long, only for tonight. I just came to check up on Naruto and possibly torture the person that hurt him, but since I don't know who did it I will have to wait and plot an even more vicious form of torture." Dumbledore smiled at her in amusement, conjuring a chair for her next to his. "Then, sit and talk with me. I'm sure you are hungry and would enjoy the brief break." Tsunade smiled and sat down, the two beginning to talk about a variety of topics, ranging from the going ons of Hogwarts and Konoha to the finer qualities of candies and which were their personal favorites and why. Anko and Itachi were sitting with Kakashi and were trading information, speaking in low voices in their native language, going a step even further and speaking in Anbu code. Umbridge was carefully observing her surroundings, thinking that no one had noticed her scrutiny but not one of the shinobi were fooled and neither was the staff. McGonagall was speaking to Snape and Flitwick about the project ideas and noticed how Umbridge was eavesdropping while pretending not to. It was irritatingly obvious so she decided to speak only about what the first years were doing even though she wanted to discuss what the fifth year project was. She could always speak to them later when the toad wasn't spying on them.

Naruto chatted with Iruka, asking him how he liked his classes and if Kakashi was behaving. Umbridge was listening in on them, even as she pretended not to. It was quite pathetic, but Naruto had a plan on making the ugly toad wanna be pay. And it would begin on Halloween, on the day that he would regain his normal body, not that he wasn't small compared to his friends. "Naruto, you said something about changing back on Halloween." Turning to look at Tsunade, he nodded. "I figured if I brewed an aging potion, I'll get my normal body back." "Ah, I considered having you do that too, but after analyzing the potion, Shizune and I discovered that it should have worn off by now. But, considering the spell that struck you as well, it would probably delay that from happening until at least Halloween. If you haven't changed back by Halloween, we'll try the aging potion, but only as a last resort." "Hai Baa-chan. Are you going to talk to Fudge about the dementors again?" At the mention of the dementors, Umbridge gave a small smirk, drawing the attention of all the shinobi sitting at the staff table.

"I'm going to do more than talk to him. Konoha does not tolerate dementor attacks lightly, especially on the son of a former Hokage." At this, Tsunade hid a viscious smirk as she saw Umbridge pale ever so slightly. It would seem that Fudge wouldn't be able to tell her why the dementors had been out and about, but she wouldn't need to look far for answers, when she really wanted them anyway. No, she would get her revenge on Umbridge after Voldemort and Orochimaru had been handled. Until then, she would slowly set things into motion to make the toad pay. Of course, she would enjoy reading the mission reports from Anko, Iruka, and Itachi on how they chose to torture the toad throughout the year. As dinner came to a close, Tsunade pulled Kakashi aside to speak quietly to him. "Kakashi, Naruto should be changing back around Halloween. When he does, I want you to catch him up completely on any and all information that you have. Anko will fill you, Iruka, and Itachi in on what she has learned in the Order. Gai will do the same when he switches with Anko in two weeks. They'll switch places every two weeks or so. It's the beginning of the school year, so I doubt that Voldemort is up to anything. He will also want to remain in hiding as he prepares. Orochimaru isn't foolish either and won't make a move until he is ready. For now, you, Iruka, Itachi, and Anko can handle the mission as the others settle into their new environment. As much as Voldemort will be a problem, I assigned them this mission as a chance to relax and have fun, especially Naruto. He really needs this."

Turning to look at the small blonde, fond smiles tugged at both of their lips. "Alright. I'll pass the message along to the others. Aside from emergency contact, I'll allow the kids to establish their own way to communicate and share information. I'll also let them work out patrol pairings, shifts, and scheduele amongst them. The four of us can handle patroling at night for now since we're teachers and won't have to worry about being caught out in the halls. Is that all?" "Yes. I want at least weekly reports on the mission and any new information that you discover. Also, send me reports on how Naruto's doing." "Very well. I suggest that you say your good byes to Naruto before he goes to bed." Even though dinner was nearly over, it was still to early for most to turn in for the night. Naruto however, was falling asleep in his bowl of ice cream.

Standing, Tsunade moved to speak with Dumbledore, noting with disgust how Umbridge listened in on her conversation, obviously looking for some dirt that she could report to Fudge. The fool would soon learn that playing with fire was bound to get him burned, badly. "Much as I want to stay, I have a village to run as well as paperwork to see to. I'll be stopping by every month once or twice to check up on Naruto. I can survive a year without his cookies, but I doubt I'd survive a year without seeing him. Don't let anything happen to him, he's worth more than all the gold in the world to me." "Don't worry Tsunade-hime. I met his father once, and knew Sarutobi. For them alone I would watch after Naruto, even if you had not asked me to do so. I think you should say your farewells before he falls asleep." "If you have any problems with my students, don't be afraid to write. Good night Albus, until our next meeting." "Yes, until we meet again Tsunade-hime." Having said her good byes to the headmaster, Tsunade quickly moved to where Naruto was being carried by an annoyed looking Shikamaru. "Naru-chan, I have to leave now." Sleepy blue eyes looked up at her, sadness tinging them. "Bye Baa-chan."

Unable to stand seeing Naruto even slightly sad, Tsunade pulled him into a bone crushing hug, whispering quietly into his ear. "Don't be sad Naru-chan. I want you to have fun while you are here." Feeling the blonde nod his head, Tsunade gave him a kiss on the forehead before handing him back to Shikamaru, who merely mumbled troublesome under his breath. "Be good Gaki and I'll see about bringing you some Ichiraku's ramen for Christmas." Eyes lighting up, Naruto gave her a wide smile as he promised that he would behave himself if she swore to bring him ramen. Swearing, Tsunade ruffled Naruto's hair before saying good bye one more time, disappearing in a poof of smoke, box of cookies held closely to her chest. Murmurs swept through the Great Hall, but were ignored by the shinobi. If Tsunade had wanted to cause an uproar, she would have used an even flashier exit.

"Troublesome. I'll take you around to say your good nights to everyone before Sakura brings you up to bed. I think she has something to give to you and Kiba anyway." A smile twitched at his lips as Naruto just murmured sleepily, his eyes practically closed as he snuggled against him. After bringing Naruto around to give his less than coherent good nights, he handed the blonde off to Sakura who carried him as she walked with Kiba up to the Gryffindor common room. They may have only been at the school for less than a week, but they had noticed the division that the houses had caused amongst the students. This was going to be changed, and had already been put into motion by Naruto's stay in he snake pit and Iruka's less than subtle lessons on the importance of teamwork.

Following Kiba into the Gryffindor common room, the two completely ignored the looks of shock that they were being given. It would soon become a common sight in the various houses in the future, especially if teammates, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, and friends went to visit each other. Given how they had been sorted, someone from each house would visit the other houses. "What's she doing here?" Turning to look at Ron, Sakura rolled her eyes. "I needed to give something to Kiba." "But why are you _here_?" "I'm putting Naruto to bed. It's not that big a deal. The others will probably stop by to do the same, or to hang out with Kiba. Oh, that reminds me. Kiba, I've been talking with some of the others and they agree with me. Since Kakashi-sensei agreed to supervise us, he's going to let us spar next lesson. We'll all be there during your lesson, since we have a free period then." "Great. Naruto warned me though that Itachi will probably have all of us wearing weights." Sakura gave a small groan. "Knowing Kakashi-sensei, he'll probably make all of us wear them at all times, sadistic pervert that he is."

They were drawn out of their thoughts on weights and spars by Harry speaking. "Can you wake Naruto up? We'll be late for our detention if we don't leave soon." Scowling darkly, Sakura mumbled inventive ideas of what she wanted to do to Umbridge for daring to hurt Naruto. This lasted but a few minutes before she gently woke her sleeping teammate. "Sakura-chan?" Holding back a squeal at the adorable blonde she was holding, she gently set him down. "Harry says that you have to go to detention soon or you'll be late." Nodding, he sleepily rubbed at his eyes before stumbling after Harry and out the portrait hole.

That week of detentions seemed to drag by, but thankfully it was over. Unfortunately for Harry and Naruto, the two found themselves way behind in their homework, forcing the two to give up any thoughts of relaxing or doing what they wanted that wekkend in order to finish homework that was due sometime during the next week. Given how much homework they were getting, neither wanted to fall behind anymore than they already were. There hardwork paid off though since they were completely done with all of their homework ahead of time, a first for both of them as Sakura and Hermione had pointed out in the library after they had finished their last essay.

While things at Hogwarts may have started to settle down, the same could not be said for the Order. While members were taking turns standing guard in the Department of Mysteries, others were out trying to gather information on what Voldemort was doing. One such member would have caused jaws to drop, not only because of his personality, hair cut, and huge eyebrows, but because of the absense of green spandax and orange legwarmers. Maito Gai was wearing, not his usual spandax, but loose black pants and a skin tight long-sleeved black shirt. His outfit would have looked exactly like Kakashi's normal one if he had on a green vest instead of black, a face mask, and wore fingerless gloves with silver platings, as well as white bandages instead of black.

Gai may not have been as suited to stealth as his rival, but he refused to lose without a fight. With his speed, and being dressed in black, the wizards that he planned to spy on would think of him as being nothing more than a shadow that caught their paranoid eye. That was if they even saw him in the first place. At the moment, he was hidden deep in the shadows as he listened to the whispered conversation that was taking place. "Are you sure?" "Fool, I was there when the Dark Lord agreed to team up with the man. He even agreed to share his body." That was all that Gai needed to hear, and he slowly faded into the shadows, disappearing without either knowing he had been there. Things were starting to get interesting, and not in a good way.

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A/N: Cookies to all of my faithful readers, lots and lots of them. It is summer again, but this time I've finally managed to get a chapter up. Life is hectic. Last summer I had summer school, six hours of a single class is pure torture, but at least it was air conditioned. School was totally insane, but a blast as well, not to mention moving within the last month. Sadly, I lost the sacred binder that had my nearly finished story in it sometime during the move. I'll just have to work on writing new chapters, if the plot bunnies in my head will stop eating pixie sticks. They're on crack or somethings since I have nearly fifty different fanfics of various lengths typed or written. I'll refrain from posting any other fics until this one is on a roll again. Don't worry, this fic will be finished sometime in the future. Love my reviews. Seriously though, thank you all for having patience. This story will get finished sometime, just have to wait for it. If you see any major mistakes, please tell me since I think I caught everything. I have night class tonight and some homework due for it, so I didn't go over this chapter as carefully as I like. Love all your reviews, they feed the plot bunnies in my mind, still not sure if that's a good or bad thing. XD I live, so this story will go on. I've had sugar, and I have homework to do. Word of the wise, never procrastinate, it comes back to bite you in the arse, hard.


	16. The Torture of Suspense

Summary: Tsunade leaves, but not after revealing to Umbridge that she had messed with the wrong blonde. Kakashi has been put in charge until Naruto returns to normal come Halloween time. After Tsunade leaves, Sakura carries a sleepy Naru-chan up to Gryffindor tower, the second person to start the process of breaking down the barriers that separated the Houses. Harry and Naruto finish their detentions without further problems as things at Hogwarts finally seemed to settle down. Meanwhile, things start to get interesting as Gai, minus his spandex, overhears some interesting information. Will the spandex stay gone, will he be making an appearance soon? What about the mission that Tsunade gave Anko, Itachi, and Iruka? Has Umbridge's torture finally begun?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune (just have to figure out how it will work, probably won't be a major part of the story, or I'll make their pairing a side story, still thinking on it, although I'm starting to like the idea of doing this pairing as a side story. I'll probably end up doing a series of side stories about various pairings, probably cute little fluff stuff ). I will do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it won't happen until way later in the story, since I have to get away from Hogwarts and back into what the Order is doing, which probably won't happen until around the winter holidays in the story, since that's when Arthur gets bitten by the snake.

A/N: This is a torture chapter, more so for the readers than the characters since it leaves you guys hanging. I'm just evil, ain't I? There will be a poll at the end of the story on a possible change in some of the future pairings. If I get enough votes to change the pairings around, then I will. Anyway, this chapter is both a filler and building block for me. I plan on rereading the fifth Harry Potter book before I get things moving again. Luckily though, the plot bunnies in my mind seem to have finally taken some meds for their ADD and I can focus on this story without other ideas demanding my attention. Anyway, have fun reading. If you want me to add in a torture idea for Umbridge, I am making a list to be voted on in later chapters. Halloween ideas are still welcomed. I do like some of the ones that I've read in reviews. Cookies to all of my reviewers, I simply thrive off reviews, their so fun to read.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_This is a note, pass it on. --notes, letters, written things, etc..._

**

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Chapter Sixteen: The Torture of Suspense**

Things were settling down at Hogwarts, for the students at least. For Dolores Umbridge, nothing could be further from the truth. After Tsunade's visit, strange things began to happen. During class, she could hear laughter coming from behind her, yet it wasn't coming from her students at all. Paperwork would mysteriously end up shredded, attached to the ceiling, hidden somewhere in her office, or disappear alltogether. Worse yet, Fudge had flooed her demanding her to stop sending him love letters and for her to do her job. No, things were not going well for Dolores Umbridge, and they would only get worse for her.

Iruka hummed softly as he patroled the halls that night, his mind setting to work on what he should do to torture the toad. After Anko had informed him and Itachi of the mission, the three had agreed to recruit Kakashi and Gai into the mission as well. It had been Kakashi's idea to mess with her in class, giggling as he read his book under a genjutsu to stay hidden from sight. He even made it so that only Umbridge heard him, wanting her to think that she was insane. As childish as it was, it kept Kakashi out of trouble while he ditched his morning classes. It also gave them an idea as to just how paranoid Fudge was, not to mention stupid.

Shaking his head slightly, Iruka directed his thoughts back to what else could be done to Umbridge without causing trouble for the students. Messing with her paperwork had been something that both Anko and Itachi had used to pass the time. Iruka himself had shown his rather sadistic side as he sent Fudge rather fanatical love letters every day for the last week. Tsuande had said to torture Umbridge slowly, and he found it difficult to stick with the kid gloves after what she had done to his little brother. But, Iruka had learned patience and self control as an Academy teacher, something that did not bode well for Umbridge given that he had a rather large reserve of knowledge on pranks, especially after having Naruto as a student. As a former prankster himself, he wondered just how long it would take to get her to crack, and how.

Turning a corner, Iruka sidestepped just in time to miss colliding with Snape. Struck with an idea, he gave the man a smirk worthy of Salazaar Slytherin himself. "Snape-san, I have a problem that I think you can help me with. Would you be willing to help me?" Looking Iruka over, Snape couldn't help but pause and consider his words instead of giving his usual sneer. He had thought the man to be a Hufflepuff, and in many ways he probably was, but the smirk he was currently giving him was pure Slytherin. Returning the smirk, Snape decided to see just what the Slytherin badger wanted. It would prove to be interesting in the very least. "Tell me more of this problem that you have." If Umbridge had been doing her job and patroling for students instead of sleeping, she may have found the two plotting professors, but sadly, her 'beauty sleep' was more important than the safety of Hogwarts' students.

For the first time in a long time after returning from a patrol, Snape found himself relaxed. As sadastic as he was, he would never inflict physical pain onto his students, no matter how annoying they were. Having seen Naruto's unbandaged hands once in class, he knew that he would have to do something to keep himself from poisoning the woman, if he could even call her that. Given how she had yet to touch the students of the snake house, he couldn't risk a conflict with her, no matter how much he wanted to. He had to maintain his position as a spy, loathesome as it was. He had kept strict control of himself, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do much more than slip in a barb or two everytime he was forced to endure her company. That was before he had run into Iruka Umino.

A smirk tugging at his lips, Snape relaxed into an armchair, indulging in some of the cookies that Naruto had given him. He would have to find a way to thank the boy. He couldn't do anything in class, considering he had an image to maintain, but he was sure he could think of something to do for the blonde. Thinking of the blonde caused him to think of Iruka again, and this time he did smirk. His initial thought of the man being a Hufflepuff had been right, but as he had learned from working with Molly Weasley and Poppy Pompfrey, both woman with Hufflepuff characteristics, it was never wise to mess with anyone that they deemed as children or family. Both Molly Weasley and Poppy Pompfrey could be down right viscious when someone was fool enough to try and mess with their own. He winced slightly as he remembered what had happened to Lucius Malfoy a few day after Ginny's rescue from the Chamber of Secrets. Lucius had told no one of what happened after he had met with Molly Weasley at an undisclosed location, but Snape had seen the results of that meeting, causing him to give the Weasley matriarch an even higher degree of respect. Poppy Pompfrey he had learned to respect as a student, and continued to do so to this day. Even Dumbledore knew better than to mess with her patients.

Iruka though, he had earned himself the title of honorary Slytherin in his mind. The man was pure evil incarnate, making him more than happy that Iruka had made it clear that he knew that he wasn't being cruel to Naruto intentionally and had an image to maintain. Never had he been so glad that someone had managed to see past his mask than he was at that moment. After hearing what Iruka was planning, he was more than glad that the man didn't consider him as a Naruto tormentor. Even though Umbridge had left Naruto alone after his detentions, it was too late for her since she had already invoked Iruka's wrath, bringing out his inner Slytherin and sadist. Her torture would be long, slow, and very much deserved. Thinking of her torture led him back to his conversation with Iruka. It would seem that he had finally found an outlet for all his pent up frustrations with Umbridge, one that could not, and would not, be linked back to him. It was times like these that he truly appreciated the finer intricacies of potions and their effects. Finishing off one last cookie, Snape went to bed looking forward to the next day.

While Iruka had plotted with Snape in the dead of night, Anko was making plans for the future, and a more round about form of attack. She would have to call in a few favors, but it would prove to be more than worth it if things went according to plan. Putting her plans aside for the moment, Anko smirked as she practically skipped down to grab something for breakfast. She had one more week before she would switch places with Gai again. It would be on a weekend of course, and she would be filled in on all relevant information before leaving. She still had a week to tor-, teach her students. Spars had been put off until everyone had a chance to get used to their weights, something that was very amusing for her to see since she knew that her fellow nins were just itching for a fight to get rid of excess energy. She couldn't really blame them though, considering they were stuck doing homework after nearly three or four years of being free from homework, or in the Sand Siblings case, having never had homework to begin with since they were privately tutored.

As she sat down, Anko knew immediately that something was going to happen. Iruka was indulging in a cup of his favorite latte, a very satisfied look on his face. Judging by Kakashi's sulking form, the look wasn't from a fun night in bed. With that option out, it could only mean that Iruka had something in store for Umbridge. Looking around casually as she snacked on her favorite dish of dango, Anko noticed that Snape also seemed to be in an unusually good mood since he was smirking instead of sneering. Glancing at Iruka again, Anko had to bite back maniacal laughter as she put the pieces together. It would seem that she wasn't the only one making plans. Sitting back, Anko munched happily on her dango as she waited for the show to begin. After all, it had to be something good if Iruka was looking so smug. Really, really good judging by how Kakashi was sulking since the two lovers went at it like rabbits. Iruka wouldn't usually deny the scarecrow unless he was mad, and since he wasn't glaring at Kakashi, that couldn't be the cause of the silver-haired man's sulking. Nope, Iruka had definitely done something.

Anko shifted her attention back to her surroundings as Umbridge entered the Great Hall. Watching the woman, she couldn't help but grin visciously. She would pay for harming her little Naru-chan. She doubted that Umbridge would survive the year if Naruto's friends/family decided that Umbridge had taken things too far. Of course, seeing Shikamaru sitting with Neji, Sasuke, Temari, and Sakura at the Slytherin table, it looked like Umbridge already did. Turning her attention back to the toad once more, Anko again wondered just what Iruka had done, and what role Snape had played in it. Much to her disappointment however, nothing seemed to happen as breakfast passed by until it was time to get to class. Grabbing a handful of dango, Anko munched on her favorie food as she made her way to class, grinning at the thought of having her students running laps around the lake or castle. Since she wasn't in a particullarly sadistic mood, she decided to be nice and let them do their laps around the castle. In a lazy mood, she decided to relax and munch on her dango, knowing that none of the students would slack off too much since they didn't want her running behind them throwing kunai at their heels to 'encourage' them to run faster.

Stretching, Anko cracked her neck as she rolled her shoulders. "So Itchy, what do you think has Iruka so happy this morning? I didn't see anything happen to Umbridge, even though I'm positive he did something to her." Itachi snorted as he watched the class disappear around to the other side of the castle. "I've told you to stop calling me that. As for what Iruka did, I suspect a potion of some sort. Snape looked like you do after you finally get back at someone that's pissed you off without them finding out." Just thinking about some of the things she had done to the Council members had Anko cackling with laughter. She couldn't claim her work bacause of the trouble that would come with it, but she didn't need nor want to. Having an outlet was more than enough for her, especially since the fools didn't have a clue who hit them. Resigned to the fact that she wouldn't be finding out what happened to Umbridge until she cornered one of the two involved, or the effects of whatever they did started to show, Anko licked her lips as her class assembled in front of her and Itachi, breathing heavily. Well, she would pass the time tor-, teaching students until she could find out what would happen to Umbridge. At least she wouldn't grow bored.

While Anko was in a good mood having fun torturing her students, Kakashi was far from happy. Because of Umbridge, he had been denied his cuddle time with his little dolphin. There was no way he was going to forgive her, denying him of his cuddle time was the worse offense that could possibly be done to him. Hidden behind a genjutsu, Kakashi glared at the toad that had the audacity to deny him his cuddle time. She was going to suffer his fury. No one denied him his cuddle time with his dolphin, not even Naruto. Although, Naru-chan would cuddle with him if his dolphin was gone for more than a few days, but it still wasn't the same. His little orange book no where in sight, Kakashi lurked in the shadows in the back of the classroom, watching, waiting, for an opportunity to strike his revenge. Umbridge was about to have a very bad day.

With three fourths of the foreign teachers plotting revenge/torture of some sort on Umbridge, many would assume that the same could be said about the transfer students. Fortunately for Umbridge, their revenge was put on hold for something even more important. Although they still had a month, Sakura had raised the idea of throwing Naruto a surprise birthday party, something that they had never been able to give him since they had never really known when his birthday was, unwilling to press the blonde into telling them. Not wanting Naruto to suspect anything, Sakura had approached Sasuke and Temari at the Slytherin table with Neji and Shikamaru. If asked by Naruto what they had been talking about, Sakura would simply say that they were discussing how they could set up patrols without risking unwanted attention by being caught out missing at night. It was true as well that they had considered the idea, just not at that time and they had already decided that patrols would be easiest to do as couples, since it gave them a plausible excuse for being out after curfew, that or with someone from their team, which would also garner less suspiscion on them as well, especially with how close knit their teams were.

Having raised the idea of throwing Naruto a surprise birthday party, Sakura took charge of overseeing its organization. Since she had someone from every team but Team 8, it was easy for the idea to be passed around, Neji agreeing to fill Hinata in so she could inform Kiba without arousing suspiscion. Shino would be told by Temari or Sasuke during a class that they had without Naruto. They had a month to make their plans and get everything ready, all without Naruto even having a clue. Things would have to be done carefully and discretely. Sasuke had agreed to inform Itachi of their idea/plan, his brother passing it on to Anko. Sakura would talk to Iruka or Kakashi, having one of them slip a message to Tsunade about gathering presents and people for the party. The party would be easy to plan, especially since it was for Naruto. Having it remain a surprise party would take all of their skills as shinobi to keep the blonde from finding out.

At lunch, Sakura grinned as she gathered all of the girls at the Hufflepuff table, even snagging Anko. Sitting at the end, they huddled together as they whispered ideas to each other. Nothing would be written down until the week before the party, and that was only if it was absolutely needed. The only thing that would even possibly be written would be a guest list and what food would be needed. Seeing all of the girls sitting together _giggling_, Naruto decided to stay far far away. He shivered as he thought about the last time he had seen Sakura giggling with Hinata and Ino. They had planned a group date together. Fortunately for Lee, Kiba, and Chouji, their girlfriends were not cruel and had planned a group date that they had all enjoyed. It had been terrifying though to see the three giggling like fangirls that had finally caught their prey. Naruto wasn't the only one to carefully avoid the group of giggling females, the rest of the shinobi kept their distance as well. They didn't live as long as they did by being stupid. Interuptting a gossiping group of kunoichi, especially when they were _giggling_, was a verified death wish.

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A/N: I am so evil, but it's so much fun. Since my reviewers have been so nice to me, I'll let y'all help with planning his birthday party. Leave an idea in a review and which character you want it to come from, and I'll weave it into the story. Gift ideas, game ideas, food ideas, guest ideas, all that jazz, whatever you want, I'll try to include it. However, I will not change the location of the party. Naru-chan's birthday party will be held in either the Great Hall, out by the lake, or a combination of the two. To the anonymous reviewer Shinigami, I have asked Lucky Neko 13 to draw a picture of a normal Gai, since I have nonexistant artistic talent. Now, as to a change in pairings. It was suggested by WithinThePoetsShadow that I pair Itachi with Remus or Sirius instead of with Anko. One of the plot bunnies in my mind seem to like the idea, so here is what I propose. I'll let my reviewers decided if I should change the pairings, and here are the proposed new changes in the pairings, or if you want them to stay the same.

Anko x Itachi  
Anko x Snape  
Anko x Remus  
Anko x Sirius  
Anko x Remus x Sirius  
Itachi x Snape  
Itachi x Remus  
Itachi x Sirius  
Itachi x Sirius x Remus  
Or any other pairing that you would be interest in seeing. I'll try to keep an updated listing of where the votes stand in my profile. Speaking of my account, who likes the picture of my dog? Jazzy is so cute. Since I love my reviewers, I am giving each reviewer up to three votes, but I would prefer it if you were logged in when you did vote. My reasoning behind giving each person three votes is that I know that for some, it is difficult to choose. All of these are interesting ideas in my opinion. So, go forth and review and vote my loyal followers.


	17. Who's Doing What

Summary: Umbridge's torture has begun. Kakashi has vowed revenge for his disrupted cuddle time. Itachi and Anko mess with Umbridge's paperwork. Fudge receives love letters. Iruka and Snape hatch evil plans in the dead of night. A surprise birthday party is in the makings. And the kunoichi take over Hufflepuff at lunch. What is going on outside of Hogwarts? Did Tsunade ever achieve the impossible and finish her paperwork?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sauske, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x Draco, Shizune x Gai. Remus, Sirius, Anko, Itachi, and Snape will be decided by the votes of my wonderful, amazing, incredibly awesome reviewers. For the current standing of where the pairings lie, read the author's note at the bottom. Most current pairing standings can be found in my profile.

A/N: Another torture chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. I think I've found my stride again and will try to bust out the chapters while my plot bunnies are focused on this story. Well enjoy.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

**Chapter Seventeen: Who's Doing What**

--Unknown Location--

He wanted revenge. But in his current state, he wouldn't be able to get his revenge any time soon. He needed a body, and for that he needed Voldemort. Unable to perform jutsus in the body he shared with Voldemort, he could do nothing more than bide his time. At the very least he would be amused, especially since Voldemort believed that he could control him. His revenge would have to wait until he gained a body of his own. He would be using the same ritual that Voldemort had to regain his body, but it would take time to gain the ingredients. Finding a Sound nin would take some time, considering that the village he had found had nearly been completely wiped out, including his loyal servant Kabuto. A pity really, but with his new body, he wouldn't need Kabuto's medical expertises. His father's bones would be tricky, but like finding a Sound nin, it would be doable, if time consuming. No, what would be the most difficult was the blood of his enemy. He wanted no one but Uzumaki Naruto, who, like his father, had stopped him from getting what he wanted. No one but Naruto would do. For that, he was more than willing to wait.

Watching Voldemort order his Death Eaters around, Orochimaru found himself snorting at the stupidity of the wizarding world's government. He had been able to build up his own army only because he had made sure that he had given away no signs of his activities, not to mention that Konoha was still recovering and weren't looking to start a war. By ignoring Voldemort's return, the Ministry was insuring its own demise. Voldemort was moving quietly, having his followers gather information and recruit. A few deaths, but nothing that would garner too close an inspection. Infiltrating the Ministry was one of Voldemort's main concerns. Something about retrieving a prophecy, not that he was too concerned. No, he was most concerned about getting Naruto. If things went well, he should have the first two ingredients needed around the end of the school year. That gave him only a small window of opportunity to capture Naruto. Taking the blonde any sooner than he needed would draw unwanted attention to what he was doing. He would have to wait for his revenge.

--Hogwarts--

Umbridge was having a good day. That annoying giggle she had been hearing recent mornings had disappeared. Her paperwork was all in order, and she had recieved a note from Cornelius stating that he was pleased with her latest report. Yes, Dolores Umbrdige was having a good day so far. As she sat down for lunch, she was intrigued when she saw the group of giggling girls at Hufflepuff. It looked like they were planning something, which simply wouldn't do. She would need to find out what they were planning so she could ruin it, but she had to be careful not to get caught. No, she couldn't be caught, Cornelius would be disappointed in her if she was. As she ate her lunch, her mind began to think of various ways she could find out what the group of girls were planning. She was so focused on ruining whatever had them happy, she didn't notice the slightly bitter taste of her normally sweet pumpkin juice. Her good day wouldn't be lasting much longer.

--Ministry of Magic--

Cornelius Fudge was having a stressful day. Although Dolores latest report had been good, her continuous love letters were starting to freak him out instead of flatter him. He hoped by continuing to ignore them, she would stop on her own. He really didn't want to confront her again. No, it wasn't Dolores that was making his day stressful. His paperwork had turned into a mountain on his desk and he was expected to finish it by the end of the day. He had barely even made a dent in it after working nonstop for two hours. What had him even more stressed out was the letter he had received from the Godaime of Konoha. It was more of a note than a letter, but it still had him inwardly panicking.

Tsunade had stated that any hopes of gaining any form of support from Konoha rested on how her students enjoyed their stay at Hogwarts and anywhere else they may visit during the school year, such as Hogsmeade. She had hinted at how Naruto had told her he had felt that Umbridge had been singleling him out and picking on him. He wanted to ignore her note, but he had no idea how truly powerful Konoha was, not to mention that it seemed to have gained numerous allies from other wizarding governments. He could not risk a war with Konoha, especially so close to a coming election year. He was already on thin ice as it was for his treatment of the son of a former Hokage. That was like him insulting the U.S. President's daughter. He had seen the man curse the drunken politician when he had attended the President's birthday party. A lot of people from various magical governments had attended the party and learned not to mess with the man's only daughter that night. Not unless they wanted to have themselves hit by every humiliating curse the President could get off before someone stopped him.

Shuddering at the memory, Fudge hurriedly went back to completing his paperwork. He would need to send Dolores a note to be careful around the foreign students and teachers, but that would have to wait until he was done with his paperwork. As it was, it looked like he would be staying well into the night just to finish even half of it. He had just finished another stack when an aide walked in carry a stack of paperwork nearly three times the size of the one he had just finished. Fudge whimpered. He was having a very stressful day.

--Grimmauld Place--

Sirius Black was feeling confined. There wasn't much that he could do since he had to stay in hiding. He was a wanted criminal for a crime he didn't commit. He wanted to get out so badly, but he couldn't leave. He was confined to his childhood home. He hated it, but it was the only place that he was safe at the moment. Hopefully he wouldn't go insane before he was proven innocent. It was rather sad that Azkaban couldn't drive him to insanity, but his childhood home was threatening to do so. His stay was made more bearable by the frequent, if random, visits of Remus. The werewolf made staying in his home more tolerable. Remus didn't visit in person too often, but he did contact him in some way almost daily, be it in person, the floo, or by mail. He was feeling confined, but he was also happy.

--Konoha--

Tsunade sat at her desk, her face nearly breaking from the grin that split it. She had finished her paperwork, all of it. All of the paperwork she was behind in as well as for the day. Her desk was actually free of the evil stacks. Resisting the urge to cackle, she pulled out her secret stash of sake, sipping some as she thought about the cookies that Naruto would make her. She had stayed up for nearly two days and worked nonstop, but she had done it. Resting in her chair, she wondered if she should pay Naruto another visit, but decided against it. She would bask in her victory for a while, giving her hand some time to rest before she sent a note to her favorite blonde telling of her near impossible accomplishment.

She had just finished her bottle of sake and was considering taking a nap after writing her note when Shizune entered her office. Her normally strict assistant smiled in disbelief before a serious expression took its place. "Tsunade-sama, a message from Gai. It seems to be important." Taking the scroll, Tsunade opened it and quickly scanned its contents, her eyes going wide for a moment before a steel glint entered her amber eyes. "Shizune, send for Jiraiya. I need him to take a message directly to Kakashi. I also need to speak to Ibiki, Zabuza, Asuma, Kurenai, and you after I speak to Jiraiya." "Hai."

As Shizune left the office, Tsunade felt her previously good mood fly out the window. It seemed that the rumours had been right. Voldemort was working with Orochimaru, even allowing the Snake Sannin to share his body. Things were going to get interesting, and not necessarily in a good way either. Nothing involving Orochimaru was good. Pulling out another bottle of sake, Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose, knowing that things were going to be giving her a major headache. At least she didn't have to worry about paperwork for a while, since Shizune had actually gotten her ahead in it so she would be able to rest her aching hand before she had to deal with new paperwork. She did not want to fall behind again.

Jiraiya frowned as he saw the serious expression on Tsunade's face, despite the completely paperwork free desk. "What's wrong Hime?" He was originally going to tease her, but Tsunade was most likely not in the mood and would send him flying. "I got a report from Gai. Orochimaru is working with Voldemort. I need you to inform Kakashi, as well as speak to any contacts that you have in the area. The more information that we have, the better. Also, tell Naruto that I want my cookies. My hand is killing me, but I did it." A smile tugged at her lips, her eyes glittering with amusement and satisfaction. "Of course. I'll probably stay for two weeks before I'm back here. I don't trust Orochimaru not to try and gather some of his own followers. I know that Sound is practically gone, but there are still some nins wandering around trying to find the bastard. None of them are too strong, but I don't want to take any chances."

"Stay as long as you need. I doubt that Orochimaru is going to try anything too soon. He likes to make sure his plans are in order before he tries anything. Information is important, especially when it comes to him. I doubt that we could actually slip anyone in the Death Eaters to spy, not with Orochimaru sharing Voldemort's body. It would be too risky. Go ahead and get going. Inform me of anything important immediately, otherwise I'll expect weekly reports at least. I might have you stay to help out the Order, but it depends on how things go in the next couple weeks. Go ahead and take off. Don't torment the brat too much, he's chibi right now." Jiraiya snorted at the mental image of a chibified Naruto. He was going to have so much fun playing with the brat. Little kids were adorable, it was when they became teenagers did they turn into brats. He had considered adopting kids before, but he wasn't sure if he would have been able to handle them through their bratty years, which was the whole reason why he hadn't suggested adopting kids to Tsunade in the first place. Placing an affectionate kiss in blonde hair, Jiraiya whispered a quiet goodbye before taking off out the window, but not before copping a feel, Tsunade's screamed threats of castration following in his wake. A large grin spread across his face as he leapt across the rooftops. Maybe he would reconsider talking to Tsunade about adoption. If the brat was as cute as he was made out to be as a chibi, then he'd ask if they could adopt the blonde. After all, they loved the gaki despite how annoying he was.

* * *

A/N: PSPBoD are in my head. For those that don't know what they are, they are Pixie Stix Plot Bunnies of Doom. My plot bunnies have replaced their ADD meds with Pixie Stix. I think my mind will implode with all of the ideas and possibilities in my mind. I love cliffies, but this one shouldn't last too long since the plot bunnies in my mind are focusing on this story right now.  
For those who have reviewed, I give you lots of cookies, like all of the cookies in the world. Reviews make happy. X)  
As to the pairings, there is currently a tie. Here are where the pairings currently stand, and remember, you get **_THREE_** votes total, so please specify if you want all three of your votes to go to one pairing. For up to date standings on where the pairs currently stand, look at my profile. I will try to update weekly. Thanks my loyal ducklings. (I've been watching House with his ducklings, you gotta love House.)

**Pairing Standings  
**Anko x Itachi 8  
Anko x Snape 8  
Anko x Remus 0  
Anko x Sirius 1  
Itachi x Snape 2  
Itachi x Remus 1  
Itachi x Sirius 2  
Itachi x Sirius x Remus 0  
Itachi x Anko x Snape 2  
Anko x Remus x Sirius 1

Suggested Other Pairing:  
Itachi x Deidra 1  
Remus x Snape 1


	18. It's Nap Time

Summary: Orochimaru is working with Voldemort, the snakes have teamed up. Umbridge is in a good mood, plotting on how to disrupt what the girls are planning. Fudge is buried in paperwork and miserable. Sirius is starting to get cabin fever. Tsunade has done the impossible and finished her paperwork. Jiraiya's still a pervert and headed for Hogwarts. What trouble will he cause? When will he get to Hogwarts? And is there a prank war looming?

Disclaimer: I think that it's obvious now that I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sauske, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x Draco, Shizune x Gai. Remus, Sirius, Anko, Itachi, and Snape will be decided by the votes of my wonderful, amazing, incredibly awesome reviewers. For the current standing of where the pairings lie, read the author's note at the bottom. Most current pairing standings can be found in my profile.

A/N: Another chapter. I'm on a roll. This one is also kind of a filler, but things will start picking up after this one. Again, I love reviews, so thank you so much for taking the time to review. I hope that you guys are enjoying this story. The next chapter that I post will probably be a fat one.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: It's Nap Time**

--Konoha--

Tsunade fought a smile as she watched Jiraiya leap away. As perverted as he was, he truly did love her and knew how to cheer her up in his own way. She may love him, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't castrate him if he kept being too perverted. She was just about to indulge herself in her sake when Shizune came in, followed by the group she had asked for. Once they were all gathered and comfortable, meaning that Kurenai sat in Asuma's lap while Ibiki sat in Zabuza's with Shizune seated in the last chair, Tsunade leaned forward and spoke. "Things are starting to get interesting. Gai has managed to confirm that Orochimaru is working with Voldemort. I've sent Jiraiya to speak with Kakashi as well as to gather any information he can. Depending on how much he finds out, I may be sending you out to gather more information. The last time that Orochimaru plotted, Konoha was nearly destroyed. Akatsuki is gone, and Sound is no longer much of a threat, but Konoha does not need another war. We're still recovering from the Kyuubi attack in some ways, let alone from Sound and Akatsuki. At the moment, Orochimaru is the only major threat facing Konoha, which makes any information that can be found on his plans vital."

Pausing to make sure that she had their complete attention, she proceeded to give them details of what their mission would be should Jiraiya not find out all that much. "You will be joining an organization that fights Voldemort. It's called the Order of the Pheonix and is ran by Dumbledore. You will spy on Voldemort, and by default, Orochimaru. It will be harder to find out what Orochimaru will be doing, but by spying on Voldemort we may find out some of Orochimaru's plans since they are working together. Even if you don't, you will be helping the Order with the information that you gather. Since Orochimaru is sharing bodies with Voldemort, we should be able to deal with him if we can stop Voldemort. Essentially, we are after the same person at the moment, and the Order knows more of what you will be dealing with in the magical world. Fudge is denying Voldemort's return, which will make gathering information even more difficult. However, wizards know next to nothing about us, and I doubt that Orochimaru is willing to share anything about himself, so they will not be expecting most of the jutsus, especially genjutsus that can be done. This gives you an advantage in spying, as well as your ability to blend in effectively with the surrounding crowds, despite your unique appearances."

Zabuza snorted, but didn't interrupt as Tsunade continued. "You guys won't all be spying at the same time. You'll break up into teams and rotate however frequently you want to. You will also take over classes for Anko, Gai, and Itachi to give them chances to spy. Kakashi and Iruka may leave to spy once in awhile, but for no more than a day or two when their skills are really needed. Will you accept this mission if I assign it to you?" Asuma and Kurenai immediately nodded. They would be able to see their students again if they went. Ibiki smirked as Zabuza merely grunted. He was looking forward to seeing Anko again, and he knew that his bristly chair was eager to see his apprentice/son. Shizune was the only one who seemed to have doubts. "Don't worry Shizune, I'll do my paperwork, especially if Naruto keeps giving me cookies for being a good Hokage and getting her work done. If not, I'll ban ramen until he does." Shizune fought a smile as she nodded. She had proof that Tsunade would do her paperwork for some of Naruto's cookies. She was the first Hokage to actually finish her paperwork for crying out loud.

"Good. Unless I get a note from Jiraiya that asks for help, then I will be sending you out in about two weeks, so I expect you to be fully prepared by then. I want you ready to leave though at a moments notice, so pack a bag of essentials today. Until otherwise, return to your normal duties. I'll inform you of any changes in plan. Now scram, I want to take a nap." They didn't need to be told twice and quickly left, silently impressed at how the normally lazy Godaime had managed to finsih the evil known as paperwork.

--Hogwarts--

Sakura smiled as she walked with Ino, Tenten, and Hinata to class. They had decided on two possible locations for the surprise party. It would either take place in the Great Hall or out by the lake, maybe even both places if they arranged everything right. Anko had said that she would take care of informing the 'adults' as well as those in Konoha. She had already promised to make Gai swear not to breath a word about the surprise party. Keeping the party a secret was going to be the most difficult thing about it. The planning would be easy in comparison. They had already known that they would need to bring Amane and her father over to make Naruto ramen, and lots of it. The rest of the food would be made by the house elves, with a few of them demonstrating what dishes they wanted. There would be various foods, from dango to pizza.

"Sakura, how should we juggle Naruto around? He has his memories back, but I think he would get suspiscous if we aren't careful. We can't have both Gaara and Temari disappear at once." Sakura chewed her lip as she pondered Ino's words. "You're right Ino. We'll be limited to talking whenever we don't have the same class as him. For now at least, until we can figure out other ways to communicate. Kakashi, Anko, or Itachi should be able to distract Naruto when he has class with them, giving Kiba time to plot with the others. Anko agreed that she'll lay off of us during class so we can plan, just as long as we do our training, she doesn't care if we talk. We can always use summons so everyone is up to date on the plans, we just have to be careful that no one sees." "Someone in each house is able to use summons, and Kiba could always use Akamaru to pass messages to Hinata. It would look less suspiscious if we pass information between teams. Only Teams Seven and Eight are spread out completely. All the other teams are either in the same house, or have two people in the same house." "Tenten's right. We can also meet up in the library or each other's common rooms. Our only real problem is keeping Naruto distracted and having a way to warn each other if he's looking for us." Sakura smiled at Hinata's suggestion. "That's perfect. Although, we'll need to find a place where we can hide his presents." This statement lead to hushed whispers of what they should get the chibified blonde.

Naruto smiled sleepily as classes finally ended for the day. Resting his head on Kiba's shoulder, Naruto fought against falling asleep. They had so much homework to do, and it hadn't even been a month of school yet. "Ne Kiba." Kiba tilted his head to the side so he could look back at Naruto, who was draped over his back. "Hmm?" "When do you want to start the prank war?" Grinning, Kiba readjusted his grip on Naruto's legs as he began to descend the stairs. "Now is good." A snicker brushed past his ear. "You'll have to wait a bit. I'm still setting up the rules and ranking. I already have impartial judges for the competition. The war can begin in a week tops. If I were you, I would plot with Gred and Forge." Kiba nodded as he easily navigated his way through the crowds. "Kiba, over here."

Looking up, Naruto saw Temari waving them over from a corridor they were about to pass. "Temari-nee." "Naru-chan. You look tired. You are going to take a nap before dinner. Follow me Kiba. No arguing with me Naru-chan, you are going to take a nap." Naruto meekly nodded his head as he closed his mouth. No one ever argued with Temari when she used _that_ voice. Not unless they wanted to be beat senseless with her fan. Needless to say, Kiba followed Temari obediently. She led the way down to the Slytherin common room, her glare keeping many of the lower years from commenting on their presence. Malfoy wasn't so smart to keep his mouth closed. "This is the Slytherin common room. Not some pound to bring in stray mutts and mudbloods." Kiba growled low in his throat, but didn't move to attack the blonde since he was essentially in enemy territory. Temari had no such qualms as the sound of flesh striking flesh echoed through the silent common room.

It was silent as everyone seemed to hold their breath, then it was broken by a loud screech. "You bitch. How dare you hit my Drakey-poo." Temari snorted as she easily side-stepped the punch aimed for her head. "Really Parkinson, you'd think that you would have learned in class that you are no challenge for me. You can't even lay a finger on me, let alone hit me." Pansy growled, but leapt back with a shriek as a large spider suddenly dropped down in front of her. "Oh sorry." "Kankurou, what did I tell you about playing with your puppets." Kankurou rolled his eyes. "Ah, but this isn't a puppet. Besides, I don't bother you when you're practicing with your fans." Temari rolled her eyes as he nudged the life like spider with her foot. "Where did you even get this?" "The twins. It's actually a plushie. I got it from them over the summer. I've just gotten around to practicing with it. It's pretty good training since it has so many legs I have to control." Temari rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips. "Good to know that you aren't slacking. If you can make it tap dance, I'll give you a get out of trouble free pass from me." Almost immediately the spider began to start to dance, not quiet managing a tap dance, but still close enough to be distinguished as an attempt.

"Do I have a time limit?" Temari thought for a moment, watching as Kankurou made the spider walk in a circle, trying to make the limbs move as naturally as possible. It was actually a pretty good way to train his chakra string manipulation. "By the end of the first week of October. I want the spider dressed up, shoes, tie, everything. It has to tap dance for at least a minute. If you can't pull this off, you'll face a week of personal training with me." Kankurou blanched for a moment, before gulping as he focused on the spider he had been moving. Moving his fingers subtlely, Kankurou continued to control the spider, jaw set as he focused entirely on his task. He could not fail. Not with a week in hell waiting for him if he should do so. No, he would suceed. Failure was not an option.

"Parkinson, don't mess with me or mine. You won't like what I'll do to you if you do." Pansy sneered, but made no attempt to pick a fight, not with Anko walking in. "Ah, Temari, I was looking for you. Girl's meeting at dinner at Ravenclaw. Make sure to snag your boyfriend before he tries to leave. I need that brain of his for an idea I have. Naru-chan, Itchy told me to tell you that you had better be taking a nap when he comes down here in an hour. He says if you aren't, that I get to set up something similiar to the Forest of Death, except it'll take place in the Forbidden Forest. I've been in there, but I prefer my forest. This one's just tame." Naruto pouted, but had Kiba put him down. "Fine. But I refuse to be the only one to take a nap. Someone has to take a nap with me." Anko grinned, grabbing Sasuke as he walked into the common room. "What do you want?" "Itachi told me to tell you that he's ordering you and Naruto to take a nap. He says that if the both of you aren't sleeping when he comes by in an hour I get ten copies of any of your baby pictures that I want. I also get to dress you up in skin tight leather pants and a fishnet top. You'll wear a collar and be my servant for a day."

Several of the girls began to drool as they stared at Sasuke, eyes glazed slightly. Sasuke shivered, grabbing Naruto and fleeing to the boy's dorms. They were in his bed with the curtains drawn in moments. There was no way in hell he would become Anko's personal servant for a day. His baby pictures were going to be destroyed as soon as he could find where Itachi kept them. There was only so much blackmail material his brother was allowed to have, and his baby pictures were not on the list. He was drawn out of his thoughts of where Itachi could possibly be keeping his baby pictures when Naruto cuddled into his side. Looking down, he pulled the sleeping blonde closer. He needed to find a camera before Naruto changed back to normal. The blonde was just too cute not to have any pictures of. Shifting so he was more comfortable, Sasuke closed his eyes. A nap sounded like a good idea, and in moments he was asleep as well.

Anko grinned at Temari, tossing her a camera. "You know what to do with that. I'll be seeing you my little snakes." A sadistci grin on her face, Anko left, humming happily. "Gaara, quit molesting Haku and come here a minute." Glaring at his sister, Gaara reluctantly left the shadowed corner where he had been having fun with Haku. He stopped glaring when he saw the glint in Temari's eyes. His sister was in a sadistic mood, something that he was smart enough to fear, even if he was stronger than his sister. _"Summon Shukaku sometime tonight when no one is watching. Pass him off as your pet. No one will question you about him. I want Naruto to do the same with Kyuubi., before dinner if he can. Kyu will probably want in on helping to plan Naru-chan's birthday party. The two can also help with patrols."_ Gaara nodded. He may have been Kazekage, but he wasn't foolish enough to go against his sister's orders. Going back to Haku, he was disappointed to find his boyfriend working on homework. He frowned at his homework in distaste. It was almost as bad as paperwork, something that he was not missing.

Kiba ignored the glaring Slytherins as he sat at the table Shino was at, pulling out his own homework to work on. "How are you adjusting to the weights?" Shino shrugged, but after years of being his teammate, Kiba had learned the silent language that was Shino. "That's good. I'm not doing to bad. Going through the Academy moves for ten minutes or so each day helps out. Gotta respect Lee, even if he's insane. Do you know what you're going to get him." Shino shook his head, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I have no idea eihter, but we have a month, we'll think of something. Knowing the idiot, he'll say that we shouldn't have gone through the trouble of finding him a gift." Shino snorted, silently agreeing with Kiba's statement. Naruto was too nice sometimes. "Has he started playing matchmaker with you yet?" Kiba snickered when he saw Shino shiver. "If you don't want Naruto to hook you up with someone, you better find someone yourself, before he does." "Don't remind me." Shino's response sent Kiba into a fit of laughter, drawing even more glares that he easily ignored. "Don't worry Shino, Naruto's a little busy at the moment, so you're safe for a little while."

Temari froze as Naruto sneezed in his sleep, but when he didn't wake up, she went back to taking pictures. It took all of her will power not to squeal, but it was so hard. Naruto looked so cute curled up against Sasuke, the Uchiha curled protectively aorund him. Snapping one last picture, Temari left as silently as she had entered. She wouldn't be giving Anko her camera back until she extracted a promise that she'll give her copies of the pictures. Tucking the camera into a pocket, Temari settled into a chair near the fire and began on her homework. It was better to get it done and over with then to put it off. It just piled up into mountains that way. Temari shivered slightly as she thought about her homework becoming even remotely similiar to the amount of paperwork that she had seen on Tsunade's desk.

Jiraiya frowned as he went over what he had learned from his contacts. It would seem that Voldemort was moving very quietly. Building up his ranks as he manuevered his followers into key positions in the Ministry of Magic. He was moving slowly and cautiously, wisely using Fudge's stupidity to his advantage. Having just finsihed speaking with Dumbledore, he had no idea yet what Orochimaru was planning. If Gai hadn't overheard what he did, he doubted that they would have even known that Orochimaru was working with Voldemort. He was pulled out of his thoughts by Itachi returning, sliding a camera into his pocket. "Temari told me that she's asked Gaara to summon Shukaku, as well as having him ask Naruto do the same with Kyuubi. She wants the two to pass them off as pets. I told her to have them sent here before dinner. You can bring them down with you at dinner and act like you brought their 'pets' here for them. Do you know how to get to the Great Hall?"

Jiraiya shook his head as he stretched out across his bed. "No. Come and get me for dinner. We'll meet here with Iruka, Kakashi, and Anko after dinner. I have some information for you guys. It's not good either." Noting Jiraiya's serious face, Itachi hoped that things weren't about to take too drastic a turn for the worse. He had been hoping that this would be more of a vacation than an actual mission. It looked like it wasn't going to turn out that way.

* * *

A/N: Yep, it's another chapter, even with a bit of Sasunaru cuteness. What horrors await Hogwarts now that Jiraiya has arrived. You'll just have to wait until I post the next chapter. I love my reviewers. I've hit two hundred reviews now. Keep the reviews coming. Next chapter will include more Jiraiya and the rules of the prank war.

I won't close down the pairing voting until Christmas time in the story, which will be at least a month or two. Can't believe that I forgot to leave Sirius x Remus as a pairing option to be voted on.

**Pairing Standings:**  
Sirius x Remus 1  
Anko x Itachi 14  
Anko x Snape 10  
Anko x Remus 0  
Anko x Sirius 1  
Itachi x Snape 2  
Itachi x Remus 1  
Itachi x Sirius 2  
Itachi x Sirius x Remus 0  
Itachi x Anko x Snape 2  
Anko x Remus x Sirius 1

Suggested Other Pairing:  
Itachi x Deidra 6  
Remus x Snape 1  
Snape x Bellatrix 1  
Voldemort x Bellatrix 1


	19. Of Demonic Pets and Conspiracy Theories

Summary:Tsunade makes history, having finished her paperwork. With that evil now gone, she can focus on the situation in England. Asuma, Kurenai, Ibiki, Zabuza, and Shizune are waiting for when they will be heading for Hogwarts. While Tsunade is debating between a nap and sake, Naruto has the decision made for him and is dragged of by Sasuke to bed for a nap. Hints of a party to come are given. Pictures are taken and Jiraiya's arrival at Hogwarts goes almost unnoticed. What conspiracies are being made? Are two demons finally coming out to play? Will there really be a prank war? What exactly does UTAH have to do with Umbridge? And just who is wandering Hogwarts at night?

Disclaimer: I own nothing from either Naruto or Harry Potter, with the exception of a few books and manga.

Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.

Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara

Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sauske, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x Draco, Shizune x Gai. The poll for Remus, Sirius, Anko, Itachi, and Snape will officially be closed whenever I post the next chapter. I'm in the process of getting an up to date tally. If you really want to know where the pairings currently stand, check my profile in the next week or so, which is when I hope to have updated it.

A/N: Happy April Fool's Day. This really isn't a chapter, but an extremely long author's note explaining just why I won't be continuing this story. Who the hell am I fooling? This is the next chapter, not as fat as I thought it would be, but still pretty chubby. Anyway, there will be a longer note at the bottom. Read, review, enjoy, all that jazz.

**'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking telepathically/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku**

**"Try to cuddle me and I'll kill you." --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi or Shukaku  
**

'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts

"Shut up, stop talking." --speech

_"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese_

_Don't ready my love letters. --writing, usually notes or letters  
_

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**Chapter ****Nineteen: Of Demonic Pets and Conspiracy Theories**

Naruto fought back a blush as he realized that his breathing pillow was Sasuke. **'You've got it bad Kit.'** 'Shut up Kyu, I know that.' Naruto grumbled as Kyuubi's laughter echoed through his mind. He did not need to be teased about something that he already knew. Stifling a yawn, Naruto slowly climbed out of bed, stretching as he yawned again. Even though he had taken a nap, he was still rather tired. "Naruto." Turning at his name, a grin split his face as he saw Gaara sitting on his bed, a small raccoon sitting in his lap. "Hey Shukaku." **"Brat. Summon Kyu. Temari's orders."** Naruto blinked, but did as he was told. In a poof of smoke, a cat sized fox appeared at his feet. **"It feels good to stretch my legs. Should have bugged Kit to let me out earlier."** Naruto rolled his eyes as he picked the fox up. "Won't it be a little strange if we suddenly show up with these guys?" Gaara shrugged. He didn't care what others thought. "That's why they will be coming with me."

Both jinchuriki turned to see Itachi standing in the doorway. "It's dinner time now, go ahead and wake Sasuke up. I'll take these two with me. I expect to see you eat dinner Naruto." Naruto frowned, wondering why everyone seemed to be babying him all of a sudden. Shrugging it off, he nodded to Itachi as he left with Kyuubi and Shukaku. "Sasuke, time to get up." The Uchiha groaned as he sat up, grumbling quietly to himself at being woken up. Uchihas did not like being woken up, at all. "Come on, it's dinner time." When Sasuke ignored him, Naruto shrugged as he jumped onto Gaara's back. "Carry me." Gaara rolled his eyes as he hooked his arms around the blonde's legs. "To quote Temari's boyfriend, 'this is troublesome'." Naruto merely snickered in response, earning a resigned sigh that sent him into a fit of laughter.

He was still chuckling when they entered the Great Hall. His laughter died in his throat when he glanced around the Great Hall, his eyes going wide as he stared at the head table. Sitting next to a flustered looking McGonagall was none other than Jiraiya. Just then, Jiraiya looked up, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Gaara, I have something for you and the gaki." Making his way to the staff table, Gaara ignored Naruto telling him to put him down. "Wow, Hime was right, you are chibi." Naruto sulked, saying nothing. "Naruto, you're sulking." Naruto pouted before a grin took over. "Ero-sennin, I still have to get you back for throwing me off a cliff." Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "That can wait for later. Tsunade-hime wanted me to tell you that she better get her cookies. She actually managed to finish all of her paperwork." Naruto felt his jaw drop, but didn't care as he continued to gape at Jiraiya. "Flies Naruto, flies." Snapping his mouth shut, Naruto continued to stare at Jiraiya, trying to determine if he was joking or not. "She threatened to ban ramen if she doesn't get her cookies." He wasn't kidding.

"I'll make them as soon as I can. What do you have for us Ero-sennin?" Jiraiya mumbled something under his breath as he reached down and picked up a large cat carrier. "Your pets were driving me insane. I've already spoken with Dumbledore and he's fine with you having them here. Take the little demons and go sit down. I better see you eat something Naruto or I'll write Tsunade a note." As Gaara took the cat carrier from Jiraiya, Naruto scowled darkly at the man. "I will, 'Tachi's already bugged me about eating." Jiraiya frowned at him for a moment before nodding. "Good. As soon as you let those demons out of the carrier, it'll disappear. You two are never going to rope me into looking after those demons you call pets again." Naruto snickered when he heard Kyuubi growl from inside the carrier. "You better behave yourself Ero-sennin or I'll tell Baa-chan and Iruka-sensei." Jiraiya shuddered slightly. "Go eat already brat."

Seeing the girls once again gathered, this time at the Ravenclaw table, Naruto felt a chill run down his spine. Spotting Shikamaru sitting in the middle of the group, sandwiched between Temari and Anko, he gave the lazy genius a salute. If he survived the night, Naruto planned on getting him a medal. Sitting down in Haku's lap, Naruto opened the carrier that Gaara had just put down in front of him. Immediately a streak of red leapt out of it, closely followed by a tan streak. The carrier disappeared in a whisp of smoke before he could even blink his eyes. Naruto let out a whoosh of air as something collided with his chest. Looking down, he saw Kyuubi looking innocently up at him. "Kyu. I thought I told you to behave for Ero-sennin." Gaara looked into golden eyes for a moment before dropping Shukaku on the table. "Naruto, you do remember that you are talking to Kyuubi, don't you?" Naruto blinked at Gaara before chuckling. "You're right. Kyu, why don't you and Shukaku go and say hi to the others. Maybe even rescue Shika from the girls."

Looking over at the Ravenclaw table, Kyuubi listened in to what they were whispering about. Teeth bared in a feral grin, Kyuubi leapt out of Naruto's lap and onto the table. **'I think I just might rescue your lazy friend. Come on Shukaku.'** Students stared as the two demons made their way over to the Ravenclaw table. Naruto watched as Kyuubi seemed to say something to Temari and Anko, Shikamaru practically fleeing with tears in his eyes when the two girls let him go. He slumped down next to Chouji, his friend patting him on the back before he returned to eating. Naruto blinked owlishly at the sight before turning back to the plate that Haku had made for him. Not wanting anyone else to fuss at him to eat, Naruto began to dig into his food.

Umbridge frowned as she saw the girls once more chattering to each other, only at the Ravenclaw table. They were planning something, which simply couldn't do. She would have to see about giving them detention until she could find out what they were doing. She also needed to find out who was responsible for messing with her paperwork. She had absolutely no clue as to who it was, but she was sure that it was a student. She just needed to get the proof. Once she had the proof, she would enjoy torturing them.

Iruka glanced at Umbridge, suppressing a growl. The potion that Snape had slipped her wouldn't take complete effect for another week, but that didn't matter at the moment. She was plotting something, and judging by the way she was sneering at the group of whispering kunoichi, it had to do with trying to wreck Naruto's surprise birthday party. It didn't look like she knew just yet what was going on, and he was going to keep it that way. He was not going to let the toad ruin Naruto's birthday party. He may just have to speak to the twins about acquiring something that should distract her for the entire day and night. It was that or he could try having Kurenai come by and place her in a genjutsu for the duration of Naruto's party.

At the Slytherin table, Naruto was completely oblivious to the various plots that were going on, nearly all of which concerned him in some way, directly or indirectly. His nap had been just what he needed. Thinking about it, Naruto came to the realization that he was sleeping more for a reason. His body was probably storing up the needed energy for him to return to normal little by little. With that in mind, a grin slowly began to spread across Naruto's face as he chuckled evilly, ignoring the fearful looks he was being given. If naps were going to become a routine for him, then he wouldn't be the only one to take a nap. He would pout/blackmail/trick/ask someone to take a nap with him. Sasuke had already done so, leaving him to decide who would be his next victim.

In the Gryffindor tower, the fifth years were beginning to realize just why OWLS were the number one reason that Madam Pompfrey needed such a large supply of calming draughts. Their homework just kept piling up, forcing even the laziest of them to sit down and scribble furiously in an attempt to keep their homework from becoming what would soon be a living nightmare. Even Naruto and Kiba could be seen working on their homework instead of goofing off with the twins like they normally did before half-heartedly working. The stress that the fifth years were under wasn't clearly acknowledged until one unfortunate fourth year knocked a bottle of ink all over Hermione's just completed essay.

One could hear a pin drop, it was so silent in the room. All eyes were on Hermione's slightly shaking form, waiting for the explosion that was bound to occur. If there was one thing that every Gryffindor had learned since Hermione's first year, it was to never ever mess with her homework. A seventh year had once made the mistake of using the back of one of her essays to draw out a quidditch play in an attempt to prove that his team was superior to his friend's when she was a first year. To put it simply, that seventh year found himself under every single curse, jinx, and hex that Hermione knew, which was more than just first year knowledge. From that day on, prefects made it a point to inform every new first year to never mess with one Hermione Granger's homework or notes. Ron had even passed on the warning to the new first years when Hermione had been distracted by something that the twins had done.

The fourth year that had spilled the ink was paralyzed with fear, having heard the stories of what she had done as a first year. Now that she was a fifth year, the thought was enough to paralyze him. Completely oblivious to the building tension, Naruto appeared by Hermione's side. "Ne, do you have an extra ink pot?" Not getting an answer, Naruto stood on tiptoe to look at the table. Seeing the spilled ink pot Naruto decided to be nice and help her save her essay. Climbing onto Ron's lap, Naruto pulled the ruined essay to him and quickly drew a seal in the ink. He grinned as the spilled ink slowly began to form a large quivering ball above the parchment. Picking up the ink pot, he held it under the ball of ink and poked it, causing a drop to fall into the pot. As soon as that drop fell, the rest of the ink was soon to follow. Grinning, Naruto took the now full ink pot. "I'm gonna borrow this. Thanks 'Mione."

Naruto had barely climbed out of Ron's lap when he found himself in a bone-crushing hug. "Naruto, I love you." Naruto blinked owlishly up at Hermione, not sure what to say when he saw the tears in her eyes. "You're welcome?" Seeing Naruto's confused face sent the fourth year into near hysterics as he laughed. Deciding not to ask, Naruto took the ink pot back to the table that he was sitting at with Kiba and the twins, the common room once more returning to its usual hum of noise. "Hey, how did you do that?" "Ero-sennin showed me it after I spilled ink all over a seal he was making. It's a simple seal that removes unwanted ink, but you have to be careful since it removes the ink in layers. It's usually used to save work from being ruined by a spill. You could ask Ero-sennin to show you how to do it if you want to learn." Kiba thought about it before shrugging. It could be useful to learn, but he would worry about it later. Hinata had asked him to think about a way that they could distract Naruto. The girls could easily get together to plan for his party, but the guys didn't have the same opportunity. It was an unspoken agreement that they would all take a part in some aspect of planning his party. They were running out of time as well, since the plans needed to be finalized at least a week in advanced, if not two.

Watching Naruto yawn, Kiba chuckled. "You're sleepy even after taking a nap?" Naruto nodded as he yawned again. "I think I'm going to take naps everyday. I think my body is trying to store up energy for when I turn back to normal, if I turn back to normal. I'll probably be less tired if I do take a daily nap." Silently thinking of how he could use this new information to his advantage as he stared at his homework, Kiba hnned. Naruto would be occupied for an hour, if not more for his nap, exactly what they needed to plan his party. They just needed a way to know when Naruto woke up so they wouldn't be caught together. This was too perfect an opportunity to pass up. Storing the idea for later, Kiba focused back on his homework. It was only slightly more interesting than filling out mission reports, if not a bit more annoying because of the sheer amount.

------Jiraiya's Room------

Lounging in his chair, Jiraiya frowned as he listened to Iruka's report on the castle. The former Anbu was concise and to the point, but didn't fail to include the tidbits on Umbridge as well as the surprise party being planned for Naruto. He would definitely help with that, the gaki deserved it. He was also positive that Tsunade would threaten whatever was necessary in order to be present for the party as well. What had him most concerned at the moment was the fact that aside from Umbridge, no one in the castle was really showing signs of having a hidden agenda. Not even the Slytherins were showing signs of more than childish agendas. If the plots to get back at their new teachers, as well as take revenge on 'insults' caused by their new housemates were anything to go by, the school was just a normal school. As normal as a school that taught magic inside a sentient castle was normal.

"That's worrying. If Orochimaru and Voldemort both aren't interested in what's going on inside the castle, then their plans aren't in danger of being interrupted. That, or they believe that we'll be too distracted by what's going on in the castle to be worried about their schemes. Who are the biggest threats in this moment?" Frowning, Iruka stroked his chin in thought. "It would have to be Umbridge, as well as some of the Slytherin students. She is the greater threat, since she has the Minister's backing. It's a political nightmare really. Fudge is an idiot and the Ministry itself is so corrupt it's actually amazing that Voldemort hasn't simply seized control of it himself. We'll have to be careful in our movements, especially with that _woman_ watching us. It would actually be wiser if the five of us stuck with patrolling the castle at night. She'll look for any reason to stick the kids into detention, especially Naruto."

"We won't be able to get rid of her, not without discrediting Fudge and possibly causing mass panic in the public." "Itchy's right. We can't get rid of the toad easily. Since the majority of the citizens of the wizarding world are complete idiots, we can't do more than make Fudge lose public support. If we want to do that, we'll need to give parents a reason to want to get rid of Umbridge on their own. The Daily Prophet is useless when real information is needed, and the idiots here take it for fact." Snorting, Kakashi leaned forward in his seat. "Maybe we can use that to our advantage. Whoever owns the Daily Prophet is in control of what's being printed. If we were to buy the paper, we can control what is released. Since there is a smear campaign going on against Potter and Dumbledore, then it is safe to assume that it is either the Ministry that owns the paper, or one of Voldemort's followers, most likely a combination of both."

Chuckling darkly, Jiraiya sat up from his slouched position. "There is little we can do to put a stop to their plans, but that doesn't mean we can't prepare for the coming war. We have time to prepare, possibly a year, maybe even longer. We'll need to start making lists, gain control of the Daily Prophet, and knock some sense into the next generation. The last will be easy enough, since we're teaching the brats. The paper shouldn't be too hard either. It'll just take a bit of time so we won't arouse suspicion. The lists will be the hardest part. We'll need a list of Death Eaters, Voldemort supporters, who in the Ministry can be bought, hell, who in the Ministry _isn't _corrupt in some way. We'll also need someone to replace Fudge, that isn't an idiot and will actually go about fixing some of the problems of the wizarding world."

At that, they all snorted. Almost anyone would be better than Fudge. If it weren't for the politics, a competent Genin team would have been able to finish this mission in less than a month. All it really came down to was protecting the school for a year and killing Voldemort. Killing Voldemort would take maybe a month, gathering information as well as scouting out his base, the rest of the mission would essentially be a vacation since guarding the castle was rather simple, and could almost be compared to gate duty. Rather boring, since the gate was rarely used by anyone trying to infiltrate Konoha. It was the Chuunin equivalent of finding Tora-chan. The Jounin equivalent was still under debate, although the Anbu equivalent was agreed on guarding the Hokage's office.

While the teachers were plotting how to restructure the government, without risking political repercussions, the girls were bringing the boys up to date on the plans for Naruto's birthday party over homework. Kiba was the only one not being filled in, but that wouldn't last for more than another day. Keeping Naruto in the dark was the hardest part about the entire thing. Arranging everything and setting things up was easy in comparison. It had already been agreed upon that no one else would be brought in to help until all plans were finalized. Naruto's birthday party was going to be perfect, or blood was going to be spilled. Sasuke and Sakura would be leading the attack, the others following just a step behind.

Finished with the majority of his homework, Naruto packed his things away. He could finish the rest of it later. What really needed his attention at the moment was the prank war. Umbridge's detentions had really delayed its start. Grabbing a protesting Hermione, he dragged her upstairs and into his dorm. Once they were safely hidden on his four-poster bed, the curtains drawn, Naruto grinned. "We can't start our war until we have the rules. We'll both be busy during the next couple of days, so now's the best time to start. Please 'Mione?" Laughing at Naruto's puppy eyes, Hermione nodded and pulled out a notebook and pen. Why it had never occurred to her to use the muggle writing supplies to take her notes before hand, she would never know, but she was glad that she had decided to bring a large supply with her. It had been her mother that had suggested organizing her notes in composition books by subject, given that she had OWLS this year. Hermione could have slapped herself. She felt like she was a first year again, forgetting that she was a witch. Just because she was a witch, it didn't mean that she needed to forget her 'muggle' upbringing, and the inventions that they had. Grinning as she uncapped her pen, Hermione decided that tomorrow she would take notes with pen and paper. If she didn't get in trouble, it would save her time from having to recopy her notes. She should get Ron and Harry to do so too. Merlin knew that the two would need all the help they could get when the exams actually came around.

"Fine Naruto. Let's start with basic rules, then we can decide a ranking system so it will be easier for each prank to be scored." The wide grin that Naruto had was contagious, and Hermione found herself smiling as well as they sprawled on his bed, the notebook in front of them. Even with the privacy spell that Hermione had cast on the bed, Naruto insisted that they talk in whispers. The next hour passed in hushed conversation and muffled snickers. With a flourish, Hermione wrote the last word before exchanging a smug grin with Naruto. Between the two of them, they managed to come up with a list of rules, how targets were grouped, as well as a ranking system for the pranks. Reading through the rules one last time, Hermione made sure that they had covered everything. Naruto had been adamant that their prank war be both harmless and something that the entire school could enjoy. Which had resulted in the first two rules.

_**Rules of Engagement for Prank Club**_

_1.) All pranks are to be harmless. Any prank judged to be cruel or overly humiliating will result in an immediate detention and the awarding of house points to the victim in compensation. Any prank that results in the intentional injury of its victim will result in the above, as well as loss in house points. Accidental injuries are to be avoided as much as possible, and will result in penalty points being awarded._

_2.) Discrimination in targets is forbidden. All houses and teachers are to be pranked equally, with the exception of Umbridge. To avoid discrimination, the judges will assign a target group and the rank of the prank._

_3.) All pranks are to cause minimal disruption to teaching and studying. And none may result in the destruction of notes or homework._

_4.) For the safety of all beings, no pranks may be pulled in the potions classroom, the greenhouses, the library, or the hospital wing._

_5.) All pets and owls are not to be subjected to a prank, including Mrs. Norris._

_6.)Under no circumstances are participants to reveal the existence of Prank Club to those not in the know. If caught pulling a prank, silently take the punishment, do not try to deny anything or respond to questioning, especially if caught by Umbridge._

_7.) All pranks must comply with the rank and target group given. Participants will receive penalty points if the prank does not comply._

_8.) There are four Judges, two are known. Iruka-sensei and Professor Dumbledore are the two known Judges. The two unknown Judges will be chosen by them. Participants are forbidden from bribing, blackmailing, or trying in some way to alter a Judge's decision._

_9.) Participants must keep up with homework, no exceptions._

_10.) Every single prank pulled must have a signature unique to the participants. No credit will be given if a signature is not left. Participants are also forbidden from copying another's signature._

_11.) Participants can only gain outside assistance with a prank when specified with a grinning scarecrow on the information slip._

_12.) The winner(s) of the prank war will be determined by the grading system based on the criteria chosen by the Judges. Penalty points will result in the reduction of the overall 'score' of a prank._

_**Target Group Classifications**_

_Non-Combatants (NC): any student or professor can be a target, including judges. Participants and Umbridge are not included in this category._

_Combatants (C): any of the transfer students, or the new teachers, excluding Umbridge and the participants._

_Cerebus: any professor may be targeted, with the exception of Umbridge._

_Cynical Four (C4): any one of the four heads of house._

_Any Student (AS): any student of any year from any house may be targeted._

_Puppies: any first or second year, regardless of house may be targeted._

_Dogs: any third, fourth, or fifth year may be targeted, regardless of house._

_Wolves: any sixth or seventh year may be targeted, regardless of house._

_Mini Security (MS): any prefect from any house, or the head boy or girl._

_Snake Fangs (SF): any Slytherin student, regardless of year._

_Raven Beaks (RB): any Ravenclaw student, regardless of year._

_Badger Teeth (BT): any Hufflepuff student, regardless of year._

_Lion Claws (LC): any Gryffindor student, regardless of year._

_Snake's Pit: Slytherin's common room is the target or location of the prank._

_Raven's Nest: Ravenclaw's common room is the target or location of the prank._

_Badger's Burrow: Hufflepuff's common room is the target or location of the prank._

_Lion's Den: Gryffindor's common room is the target of location of the prank._

_Hatchlings: any first or second year Slytherin student can be the target._

_Fledglings: any first or second year Ravenclaw student can be the target._

_Kits: any first or second year Hufflepuff student can be the target._

_Cubs: any first or second year Gryffindor student can be the target._

_Ambusher: any third, fourth, or fifth year Slytherin student can be the target._

_Scavenger: any third, fourth, or fifth year Ravenclaw student can be the target._

_Forager: any third, fourth, or fifth year Hufflepuff student can be the target._

_Hunter: any third, fourth, or fifth year Gryffindor student can be the target._

_Rhumba: any sixth or seventh year Slytherin student can be the target._

_Murder: any sixth or seventh year Ravenclaw student can be the target._

_Cete: any sixth or seventh year Hufflepuff student can be the target._

_Pride: any sixth or seventh year Gryffindor student can be the target._

_Table Manners: all house tables and the staff table are the target or location of the prank._

_Grave Adventures: any ghost or Peeves can be targeted._

_Prankster's Honor (PH): participants, and only participants, are the targets._

_UTAH (Umbridge Torturers Anonymously Hired): Dolores Umbridge is the target/victim._

_**The Ranking System of Prank Club**_

_Genin__: Prank can consist only of non-magical or 'muggle' supplies. There can be one victim to three victims. No more or less._

_Chuunin__: Prank can consist of non-magical and magical supplies. Magic up to fourth year knowledge can be used. No potions, runes, or seals of any kind may be used. Can be three to ten victims, no more or less._

_Jounin__: Prank can consist of non-magical and magical supplies. Magic up to fifth year knowledge can be used. Any 'legal' potion can be used, as long as the effects are not permanent. No runes or seals may be used. Can be ten to twenty victims, no more or less.  
_

_Special Jounin__: Prank can consist of non-magical and magical supplies. Magic from sixth year knowledge and beyond may be used. Any 'legal' potion can be used. Runes or seals can be used, as long as their effects are not permanent. Must be a minimum of twenty victims or greater.  
_

_Anbu__: Four levels, the equivalent of the above ranks, with level one being Genin and level four being Special Jounin. Umbridge is the intended victim. For example: Anbu1 means only 'muggle' supplies can be used, while Anbu4 means any 'legal' and non-permanent magic, potions, runes, or seals can be used._

Grinning, Hermione carefully closed the notebook and tucked it into her bag. She'd make a half dozen copies on parchment later, after she used a spell to make her handwriting unrecognizable. "Really Naruto, a cete and a rhumba?" Naruto gave her a sheepish grin. "Well, a flock of ravens is called a murder, a pack of lions is called a pride. A group of badgers is called a cete, and a rhumba is a group of rattle snakes, since there really isn't a term for just a group of snakes, that'll have to work. And rattle snakes are a kind of snake." Shaking her head, Hermione took down the privacy spell she had placed up while Naruto opened his curtains. "I'll get this back to you tomorrow after I finish making corrections. Really Naruto, why did you have to drag me all the way up here?" Catching on immediately to what Hermione was trying to do, Naruto pouted cutely. "Because, I didn't want to fall asleep in a chair." Snorting, Hermione reached over and ruffled Naruto's spikes, ignoring his protests as she did so. Bending, she placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. "Good night Naruto. I'll see you in the morning." Yawning widely, Naruto gave a sheepish grin. "G'night 'Mione."

Back in the common room, Hermione noticed that most of the lower years had gone to bed already. It was nearly eleven already, and she planned on going to bed since she had finished her homework, and copying her notes into composition books. She had just said her good nights to Ron and Harry when she noticed Kiba nodding off over his homework. Tutting softly, she gently nudged him awake. "Go to bed Kiba. Naruto's already turning in himself." Yawning widely, Kiba stretched, sighing in relief as he heard several cracks and snaps. Shaking himself, he gathered his things together, mumbling a good night to Hermione as she left. He had managed to finish all of his homework, and was actually wondering about what he should get Naruto when he started to nod off. The blonde was impossible to shop for. Kiba gave a soft growl of frustration as he climbed the stairs up to his dorm. Naruto was the kind of person that would be happy with any gift, but he was also the kind of person that you wanted to get something special, something meaningful for.

Dropping his bag on top of his trunk, Kiba grinned in amusement as he saw Naruto fast asleep on his bed, one shoe still on and only half out of his robes. Shaking his head, Kiba went over and finished undressing the blonde, easily lifting him up so he could pull the covers back. He was just about to tuck Naruto in when the small blonde latched onto his arm and refused to let go. Sighing in defeat, Kiba kicked his shoes off and managed to shrug his robes off by transferring Naruto to his other arm so he could extract himself completely. Crawling into the blonde's bed, he made himself comfortable before dragging the covers up over them both, Naruto resting on his chest and tucked against his side. Before he fell completely asleep, Kiba gave a sleepy grin as Naruto cuddled into him, vaguely reminding him of Akamaru, who was still with Hinata.

-----Somewhere in the Castle-----

Taking a deep shuddering breath, he tried not to think about the letter he had gotten that morning. He was already trying to think of a way to get out of returning home over the winter holidays. The letter his father had sent him was frightening enough. He had barely escaped being marked during the summer, but it didn't look like he would manage the same feet next summer. If he was anyone else, he may have given into his fear, but he wasn't. He couldn't give into his fear. He was already struggling with guilt, realizing just how wrong some of his views were, especially concerning a certain green-eyed lion. Shaking himself, he once again donned the mask he had perfected years ago, nearly before he had even first stepped foot inside Hogwarts. Slipping out of the room that had become his sanctuary since the start of school, he silently made his way back to his common room, sticking close to the shadows. He wouldn't get in trouble if he was caught, but he didn't feel like explaining that he was returning from a patrol.

Thankfully, he slipped silently into his common room without running into a single person or ghost. He hadn't even come across Mrs. Norris. What he had failed to notice was the shadow that had followed him since he had left his sanctuary, or the frown that had barely been visible as the shadow watched him enter his common room. The shadow stayed and watched the entrance for a few minutes before fading away completely as they left, their frown still in place. The shadow wasn't the only one to observe his movements, but a pair of scarlet eyes as well. They stayed a few moments longer than the shadow, before seemingly blinking out of existence.

* * *

A/N: It's been forever and a decade since I've updated, but life at the moment isn't all sunshine and daisies. That being said, I hope that I've brightened up at least one person's day with this chapter. It is very likely that updates will be sporadic from this point on, but I'll try to update at least monthly. Now that I've posted the prank rules, there will be pranks occurring in the future. To save my sanity however, I will probably make a companion ficlet that will contain the vast majority of pranks that will have occured in this war. That isn't saying that there won't be any pranks, just a dozen or two, instead of a few hundred or more. Also, so I can get back on track with where I was going with this story, the poll for the pairings will offically be ended when I post the next chapter. I will be updating my profile with current standings, as well as placing a poll there to make it a little easier on myself. You can still vote using reviews. Anyway, I hope that you've enjoyed this chapter. Pixie sticks, cookies, and candy galore to my faithful readers and reviewers. And do tell me if my spelling was atrocious, since I made the effort to edit this chapter numerous times in hopes of cacthing most of my mistakes.


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